Enigmatic Hatred
by Shade Mimir
Summary: SquallSeifer Shonen ai Something is attacking students under the cover of darkness. Will Seifer be the prime suspect because of his history? Please R&R.
1. Under and Down

  
  
Enigmatic Hatred  
By Shade  
  
A/N: This is my first FVIII fic. I beat this game long, long ago so cut me a bit of slack if the content isn't the most dead-on thing you've ever read. I hope you enjoy the fic and feel the need to review. Any flames will be used to line my snake's cage.  
  
  
  
It was three years after the entire Ultimacia incident. Irvine had transferred completely to Balamb Garden and was currently pursuing a romantic interest with the "Pigtailed Girl", aptly named Petunia. Zel and Selphie had long been together now, the two fitting together quite nicely. Cid and Edea of course now ran the school together and Laguna dropped by now and again to say hello. Quistis seemed to have been the center of the stalking group of the Trepes for a while but their attention towards her died down when she became interested in another SeeD who had just transferred.  
  
As for Squall, everyone was expecting a proposal any day. He and Rinoa were simply the perfect couple. They were almost never apart and always in each other's company. Everyone, it seemed, had found the-if not a possible "a", in Irvine's case,- love of their life. Seifer however was ultimately alone. And this wasn't only the way he felt, he truly was. After much deliberation the school had finally allowed him to enroll once more and because of his "shady" history, most students veered away from his company. Fujin and Rajin had even been transferred to seperate gardens when the schools agreed that it was best the three couldn't fraternize. Who knew if they would again go gallivanting off on another jeopardizing mission?  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
"Oh, I love you," Rinoa moaned, half asleep, as she pressed her open palm against Squall's bare chest. Her soft pink lips rested, partially open after the words and her dark hair was fanned out over the covers.  
  
"I know," Squall answered in response to her words. Luckily Rinoa wasn't awake to hear what he said and the tone behind it. Squall's affections or lack-there-of were obvious in the manor he lie on the bed, wide awake. He was seemingly deep in thought, deep hues watching something that didn't exist in the distance. He was so tired, but not due to fatigue. Slowly the young man stirred, placing Rinoa's arm onto his own pillow as he moved and standing to pull the covers back up. Quietly he got dressed, pulling on his black pants, signature shirt, and jacket. His hair was disheveled but he cared little and stood exited the dorm anyway.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall didn't know where he was going until he came to the hall, leading to the training room. He knew where he was heading now, that gazebo where the students "hung out." Surely no students would be out this late and sure enough, by the time he " -quite easily- fought his way through, the small shelter was empty. Making his way to the far railing, he leaned against the wooden structure. Did he really love Rinoa? Of course he did! Or was that thought something he convinced himself he must believe.  
  
It was true that when she would drag him from room to room and place to place he would often find himself wishing to be elsewhere. Rinoa was a good person. There was no doubting that she was a good person. He defiantly like here…but did he love her?…Squall shook this silly notion off and leaned further over the railing. What the-the color of flesh caught his eye and then a hand peaking from under the gazebo. An overzealous student out her alone? In a worried rush he leapt over the railing and dropped to the ground. Kneeling he saw-""Seifer!"  
  
It was indeed the blonde rival he knew well who lie there. With a surge of worry he hurried further under the gazebo himself and placing two fingers at his throat searched for a pulse. Suddenly the same hand that had caught his attention in the first place was at his own throat. Unable to speak, he looked down in confusion.  
  
"Squall?" Seifer propped himself up with his free elbow and released his grip from the gunblade master's neck "What the hell are you doing?" his voice went from confused to angry in an instant.  
  
Squall coughed at the release. He narrowed his eyes as he looked Seifer over. "I thought you were dead." Came his words in a deadpan tone.  
  
Suddenly Seifer looked about and for a moment there was a hint of embarrassment on his face "I was sleeping." He said, though his tone told Squall that Seifer was just as surprised as he was.  
  
"What were you doing down here?" Squall looked about, taking notice that under the gazebo there were only planks, dirt, and insects.  
  
Seifer frowned as if he didn't think too kindly of this question. "That's none of your business now is it?"  
  
Squall shrugged "It might be the Garden's. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a student sleeping among the monsters."  
  
Seifer looked a bit taken aback at first. Since when would Squall pry to get an answer from him? "Look-we both know the Garden wouldn't care if it lost me. And if you must know, I was out here because it's relaxing. It's the only place I can hear human voices without them being twisted in concern over weither or not I'm going to loose it on the spot."  
  
Of course Seifer hadn't meant to draw any sympathy but just the same Squall felt a bit. No one had truly spoken to Seifer in three years. Of course he and Squall had exchanged a few harsh words every now and then but Seifer's hadn't been as sharp and the fights were becoming fewer.  
  
"Now go, I'm sure Rinoa's waiting for you in the dorm." The fact that Seifer was desperate for company shone through his harsh demeanor.  
  
Squall noticed this and shrugged once more "She's asleep and I don't feel like going back there" After the last comment came something Squall hadn't been expecting, Seifer laughed. "What?"  
  
With a final genuinely amused smile Seifer nodded "Clingy, isn't she?"  
  
Squall looked to Seifer, quirking an eyebrow before he remembered that he also dated her at one point "Now that's none of your business is it?" he mocked, choosing Seifer's first words.  
  
Seifer smiled once more and looked ahead "You're right, it's just yours and you can keep it to yourself." There was a long pause between the two and finally- "You don't love her do you?"  
  
Squall was taken aback by the question. Why did he want to know? Why that question? It might have been different if it had been said with his usual "I don't give a rats ass" tone but this was asked with a bit of sincerity. "What do you mean-of course I-Why am I talking with you about this anyway!" furious now he stood…only to strike his head on the bottom of the gazebo…  
  
Seifer of course found this simply hilarious "Bravo" he laughed, watching Squall rub his head in annoyance and then move further out before standing.  
  
At least the subject had changed. Squall sighed, still holding his head with one hand and using the other to motion Seifer out.  
  
"Oh, so as much as you'd like a T-Rexaur to come down and pick a one-sided fight with me while I'm sleeping you're forced to order me back to my dorm." Seifer was of course referring to the fact that Squall was now a teacher at the Garden. He wasn't the conventional sort of teacher, off half the school year on SeeD missions. He didn't even often speak to students other than giving an example. Cid had assigned him the duty of teaching students how to use a gunblade and ironically enough Seifer was one of his students. Of course Seifer resented this but with no real place to go other than the Garden, he accepted this new status and because of this, came out at Squall's command.  
  
Squall silently led the way out of the training room and across the Garden to the dorm hallway. Once there Seifer needn't go far to reach his dorm. Taking out a key he placed it in the lock and then slipped it back into his pocked. When he pushed however, the door didn't open. With several curses under his breath, Seifer stepped back and gave the door a powerful kick.  
  
Squall quirked an eyebrow and approached Seifer curiously "It's stuck?" The blonde rolled his eyes a bit and Squall gathered that it was an obvious question. "Knock some more, maybe your roommate will give you a hand."  
  
Again Seifer rolled his eyes and shook his head "I don't have a room mate."  
  
Squall bit his lower lip. Of course Seifer didn't have a roommate. With a sigh at his own mistake he took a bracing stance at Seifer's side. Catching on, Seifer did the same and they both charged, forcing the reluctant door open. A loud crash insued as the doorknob on the opposite side struck the wall. Squall swallowed, he was luck they hadn't knocked the door off its hinges.  
  
Entering the room with a roll of his shoulder he nodded to Squall, taking the door in his hand to close it. "Thanks." He muttered before shutting it completely.  
  
Squall was surprised. He had never heard Seifer thank him and for some reason he doubted it was all for helping him open the door.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
It was the next day now. Squall had returned to his bed with Rinoa and when she woke there was no trace that he had ever left. They had separated when Squall went to teach his first class and Squall had made a point to skip their usual lunchtime, taking something earlier from the cafeteria, to eat elsewhere. He chose a secluded place in the parking lot. It wasn't the best place to eat but it wasn't with Rinoa just the same. Making his way to that far corner, something caught his eye. "Seifer?" This guy was showing up everywhere now. At the moment he was leaning against the concrete wall, sitting and chewing a bite of sandwich in seemingly deep thought. However when he heard Squall he looked up.  
  
Curiosity getting the best of him Squall approached Seifer and looked at the space beside him "Mind if I join you?"  
  
Seifer still had a mouthful and for that reason simply shrugged, hurrying to swallow.  
  
Squall sat, taking out his own lunch which had until now been in a white bag from the cafeteria. He wouldn't ask why Seifer was here, he knew.  
  
Strangely enough the unsaid knowledge applied to them both. Seifer had a pretty good idea as to why Squall wasn't with Rinoa. He would spare him questions this once. Finishing his lunch, Seifer remained sitting.  
  
Squall chanced a glance to him. Class would resume soon and this class was the one Seifer attended. He sighed once more. He was thinking random thoughts now, my this was acquired "Fine, you were right. I don't know if I love her," he blurted out angrily, leaning further back to push away his own finished lunch.  
  
Seifer looked to the young man beside him and with a half-smile nodded. "I thought so." With that he stood, gathering his things and left.  
  
That was it? Squall frowned. He had expected maybe a bit more in response.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Cid sat behind his desk, frowning deeply. This made two. How could he keep this from the students any longer?  
  
"Cid."  
  
The principal looked up to see Edea approaching hi, hands clasped "Why have you yet to inform the SeeDs?"  
  
Cid sighed "I thought it was mearly an accident. In fact it could still be mearly a coincidence. We shouldn't alarm the Garden with something we don't even know as a fact. It would simply not be practical."  
  
Edea eyed him sagely and exhaled softly "Two students." Shaking her head she circled the desk and leaned against the mahogany surface before him "I hope you're right."  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
A bell sounded and Squall nodded his last class away, the students loading their gunblades into the appropriate boxes. Squall taught his class outside, since he wasn't always around the Garden didn't think it fit that he be given his own classroom, besides, outside best suited his needs. He did have a small office though, not much larger than a janitorial closet but an office. In fact he was about to return there, he had no more classes and he didn't feel like returning to the dorm he shared with Rinoa.  
  
Squall looked ahead after packing up his own gunblade. The class had already hurried out. They always did, more-so than other classes he taught. Having the "Sorceresses Knight" in their class sort of set them on edge. Squall didn't quite understand how people could be so nervous around Seifer and not Edea herself. Perhaps it was because Edea had been, well, possessed. Seifer had acted out of his own free well. Not one of his wiser desesions in life.  
  
Seifer, at the moment was taking his time packing up the gunblade. He seemed in no hurry to get to his next class. In fact he was moving so slowly it looked as though he was in hopes of missing it completely.  
  
Squall hoisted his gunblade box over his shoulder and started towards the Garden. Passing Seifer he caught several muttered curses and paused "You might want to hurry," he advised, judging that the bell would ring again soon.  
  
Seifer stopped for a moment and then let out a low sigh "Doesn't seem as though it will matter for much longer," he spat, lifting his own gunblade and hurrying forward.  
  
"Hey," Squall caught Seifer by the shoulder and pulled him back, confused by his last comment "What was that supposed to mean?"  
  
Seifer offered a weak smile and nodded to the school "Apparently there's a petition for me to leave the Garden."  
  
Squall started "Can they do that?"  
  
"Ask your employer," he spat looking away and then walking on again. Halfway there he paused, remembering that he still had one class to go. "Damnit!" he shouted, jamming the end gunblade box to the ground. Gloved fingers tightened over the top of the box and his shoulders shook in silent anger.  
  
Looking about to find several curious stares from passing students, Squall hurriedly rushed to Seifer, grabbing him by the arm and attempting to usher him inside. Seifer took a tighter grip upon the box but besides that didn't fight back when he pulled him onward.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall led Seifer to his office. He had planned on coming here anyway so it had kind of happened without his thinking of where he was heading. The two gathered into the cramped office. It truly was smaller than a janitorial office. Things were in order, however a small, worn, desk at the far-or-short end took up more than half of the room with the chair. Squall pressed himself against the desk and placed his own gunblade box upon the desk to make room for both of them. He was about to speak when Seifer went ahead.  
  
"Maybe I should just go ahead and leave," his voice was actually serious and while Squall said nothing, he listened closely "I'm twenty! I was sure I'd be a SeeD by now or-" he left the last words of his spur-of-the-moment-ultimate-downfall plan out "But there in lies the problem," he smiled almost sadly "Where am I going to go? I'm not trained for anything else and out of my options for that one talent I have, this is the only one that will accept me. At least with my record." The sad smile faded now and Seifer looked away and added in an almost inaudible tone-"This place doesn't even really accept me."  
  
"They won't kick you out," Squall said resolutely. Truth-be-known he wouldn't allow them to. Sure Seifer had once been a threat but no longer.   
  
Seifer laughed weakly "Thanks for the empty sentiment but if enough students want me gone, I doubt there's anything you can do about it."  
  
Squall opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted as the loud speakers sounded "All students please return to your dorms. There is now a curfew in effect after classes until further notice. All classes are canceled for the day-that is all." Several cheers from the hallway signified that the message had been heard. Squall nodded to Seifer and approached the door, swinging it open. Remembering his own gunblade, Squall traced back a few steps to retrieve the box as Seifer bent down to gather his own.  
  
It was then that two students exited a classroom across the hallway, stopping to wait for straggling friends. "You know the rumor don't you?" the taller of the two asked the smaller dirty blonde.  
  
"Huh?" the boy wasn't paying in excess attention.  
  
"My sister works up there," he pointed upwards towards Cid's office "She says something's coming out at night. It's getting students."  
  
The shorter one gave an over-dramatic shiver.  
  
"I'm serious, at least two students have been attacked. I guess, since they're declaring curfew, there was a third."  
  
The shorter chewed at his lip thoughtfully "A third, eh? Well, I hope it was Seifer-the guy creeps me out."  
  
"You kidding?" the taller laughed but added in a serious tone "He's probably the attacker." The classroom door opened once more and out exited the assumed friends. Together the group continued down the hallway.  
  
Squall had heard their words and froze. He held his breath as he looked to Seifer, hoping he hadn't overheard as well.  
  
Seifer obviously had. The blonde had stopped in a crouch at the gunblade box. It was only a moment before he left the gunblade completely and tore from the room.   
  
By the time Squall made it to the hallway, Seifer was gone. He did however, have a good idea where he could find him. Returning to his office to retrieve both gunblades, he hurried down the main spiraling corridor and down to the training room.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Sure enough, he found Seifer where he had found him the first night. The gazebo was empty during a curfew so it was probably the right choice. With a sigh Squall dropped to his knees and moved in beside him. Instantly he caught notice of a bit of blood. "What happened?" He demanded, leaning in closer.  
  
Seifer didn't look as though he was particularly happy for the company but rolled his injured shoulder just the same. "Nothing, T-Rexaur before I could escape."  
  
Squall nodded. Of course. Fighting anything out here without a weapon, GF's, or any drawn magic would be more than a bit difficult "Well, we need to go. If anyone searches this area-"  
  
'I know," Seifer responded but didn't seem as if he was about to move anytime soon.  
  
After a long pause Squall folded his legs under and leaned towards Seifer, removing the off-white trench coat. He didn't think Seifer would mind in his current trance-like state.  
  
Without warning, Seifer gave out a loud growl and dropped to his back, both hands tensed at his head.  
  
Squall jumped in surprise, narrowly missing a low beam. "Are you all right?" he asked, crawling forward a bit to better see Seifer where he lie.  
  
"They think I'm attacking students Squall," he sighed exasperatedly  
  
Squall shook his head and went back to trying to inspect the wound. "It's just the students, and those to students at that. I didn't even know something was in the school and I'm the one Cid comes running to with problems of this size." He tugged at the now blood dampened, black fabric of the shirt, trying to see through the tare.  
  
Seifer caught this out of the corner of his eye and knowing Squall wouldn't leave until he made sure a student wasn't bleeding to death, sat up a bit "I'm sure Cid suspects me as well. Even if he doesn't think I'm the one attacking the students I'm sure he thinks I'm assisting it. Honestly, who would you suspect?" reaching down he removed the shirt completely and then lying back down to think.  
  
Squall was again surprised, this time by Seifer just removing his shirt. Shaking it off he leaned forward to look at the wound. As Seifer had said it wasn't terribly deep at all. Taking the already torn shirt he tore it further to bandage the wound. He didn't think heading to the nurse's office would be so wise. That would require a bit of explaining. A good bit of explaining. With that he thought over Seifer's last words. Seifer was right. If he had to suspect someone he would suspect Seifer. Of course somehow he knew Seifer had nothing to do with these attacks. "You didn't do it Seifer and they don't have any proof that you did," he tied off the fabric as he spoke.  
  
Seifer shook his head once more and rolled onto his uninjured side so that his was no longer facing Squall. "There proof is that I once did aid evil. That's all they need."  
  
Squall nodded "You're right," he admitted and then, at a lack of words-"Suppose I'll miss you."   
  
Seifer jerked his head up and looked over his shoulder in confusion "You're kidding right? You can't stand me."  
  
"You're right again," Squall looked upwards with a rare smile "The Garden wouldn't be the same without you-look now you've got me pessimistic."  
  
Seifer lie back down on his side "You are the pessimistic one."  
  
Squall didn't respond and instead simply crossed his arms before unfolding them and forcing Seifer onto his back so that he could look him in the face "So if anyone's going to be pessimistic it's going to be me! Now stop pitying yourself."  
  
Seifer….needless to say…was stunned. Did Squall just pin him on his back and yell at him? This…well…this had never happened before and it was Seifer's role now to be at a lack of words. Instead he simply grabbed his trench coat and followed Squall out and into the main training chamber without a word. Squall handed him the gunblade he had left behind and the two went on to the dorms.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
The two approached the dorm hall, both heading to Seifer's door in an almost ritualistic motion. The blonde, whose bare torso was now exposed through the open coat, took the key out of his pocket, twisted and pushed. Of course nothing happened. With a sigh he backed up and looked to Squall who offered a shrug and again returned to his side. Seifer used his right, uninjured shoulder, ready to charge. In sync the two did. Unfortunately this time the door did come off its hinges. Squall reached out for anything to stop the fall. He circled his arms about something but the both hit the ground with a hard thud upon the fallen door. Opening his eyes, Squall realized that what he had fastened his arms about was Seifer's neck and now the taller blonde was on to of him.  
  
Of course Seifer had caught himself over Squall so as not to fall fully on him. However it looked as though his arms might give out at any moment in sheer surprise. It only took a moment for another reason for a second fall to insue for it was then that he noticed the pain in his left shoulder from stopping so quickly.  
  
Forgetting the compromising position, Squall moved one of his hands down to his shoulder, unsure of what he was doing but desperate to ease the pain.  
  
At the touch of Squall's fingers upon his skin Seifer ceased his flinching and without thinking, moved his left arm to the elbow. Using the gloved hand to move a strand of brown hair from Squall's cheek before forgetting himself completely and cupping his face before bending in for a kiss.  
  
Squall was unable to react for a moment, as their lips met. He might have even been returning the affection for a moment until realizing what he was doing and pulling his head to the side, throwing out a punch in shock. The hit caught Seifer in the eye and the young man rolled to the side as a speechless Squall hurried up and out of the room, retreating into his own.  
  
Seifer lie there for several more moments, trying to gather his thoughts. At last the pain returned in his shoulder but stronger still in his eye and he lifted a hand to touch it. It was then that realization flooded into his mind and he sat up in shock. "What did I just do?" he demanded aloud standing and putting the hand to his head to shake it in confusion "What did I do?" He hadn't time to answer his own question when invisible hands dragged him backwards.  
  
  
  
Well, that's it for the first chapter. Was it truly bad? I was in a horrid mood when I wrote it so it might just be. ::Hopes it wasn't::. So should I continue or am I simply wasting my time? Please review. I need your advice.


	2. Pleasent Nightmare

  
Enigmatic Hatred  
By Shade  
  
It was the morning after Squall and Seifer's last "encounter". He had entered the room to find Rinoa watching television, lying across the end of the bed. She had smiled when Squall had entered and had been worried when he had stated that he felt sick and wished not to let her catch it. With that he had gone to sleep on the couch outside the bedroom (teachers and SeeDs had considerable larger bedrooms than students).  
  
Now Squall was awake, Rinoa still fast asleep in the bedroom. Without waking her, Squall straightened out his slept in clothing and sat upright, holding his head with his hands. What had happened last night? There sounded a soft sigh from the bedroom and quickly Squall took his gunblade box into his hands. He had no intention of speaking with Rinoa at the moment. Now he had even more problems to keep from her and this wasn't the time t discuss them.  
  
Opening the door, Squall slipped from the threshold and was greeted with several mummers. Squall attempted to ignore them. They were coming from the direction of Seifer's dorm, a good few doors away, and Squall was trying not to think about him at the moment. However, this didn't go particularly well, for at that moment Zell came bounding from the direct area he was hoping to hurry past. The hyper young man grabbed onto Squall's shoulder forcing him to stop and acknowledge his presence "Squall!"  
  
"What?" Squall asked in a deadpan tone frowning in slight annoyance as he circled around to face him.  
  
"There was another attack last night," he said, eyes wide open. He appeared desperate to say something.  
  
Squall's mouth went agape in surprise "Who?"  
  
"Seifer!" Zell blurted out as several students' attention was called to the two in the hall.  
  
Squall hardly noticed the staring students. He had stopped breathing completely, unsure if he had heard the name correctly. Thrusting the gunblade box into Zell's arms he rushed down the hall, squeezing into the crowd. The door to Seifer's room was still down and faculty had already roped off that portion of the hallway as the janitor attempted to scrub a large, blotted bloodstain off of the opposite wall.  
  
Squall needn't ask where Seifer was now. In a panic he hurried from the crowd, past Zell once more, and towards the infirmary.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
  
Dr. Kadowaki's office had expanded in the last three years. The multiplying number of students had demanded more room for patients (given it was difficult to find more room in a Garden). At the moment the doctor was resting. She had had a long night and was just now finding a moment to get some rest, hand on the pulsing monitors should someone fall into a worse state as she slept at the desk.. Squall entered unnoticed and entered the main hall of beds. Only four students occupied the two long rows and it didn't take long for Squall to pick out Seifer, lying on his back a few beds down.  
  
Squall rushed forward once more, dropping into one of the hard seats that rested between each bed. It looked as though Seifer was sleeping. Using this opportunity he looked young man resting upon the hard mattress. He looked relatively uninjured save a bandage around his forehead, the newly bandaged shoulder, and…Squall felt a surge of guilt as he took notice of the black eye…Were all the other attacks like this? Squall raised his head and looked at the other occupied beds. It appeared as though everyone was asleep and all had suffered a blow to the head. That meant-Squall sucked in a deep breath and looked back to Seifer.  
  
"Seifer?" Squall almost begged, resting one hand upon Seifer's bare chest and the second on the far arm of the off-white trench coat. "Seifer?" he asked again, shaking him softly at first and then a bit harder. In confirmation of his fears, Squall released his hold from Seifer and again lowered his face into his hands. "That…thing…is putting students into comas."  
  
"That's it then?"  
  
Squall gave a start, jerking up to look to his side where Zell had pulled up a chair, resting the gunblade box upon the floor. Squall nodded to him "Seems that way," he said in a soft tone, looking back to Seifer.  
  
Zell looked to Seifer as well and shook his head. "Man this is bad. I mean I can't say I liked the guy but I never hoped something like this would happen." Zell looked up in thought "I'd almost forgotten he went to this school. I don't see him around much anymore. Haven't heard 'Chicken Wuss' in a good while now," he admitted.   
  
Squall acknowledged him with another nod "I suppose the only good aspect of this is that people will know he's not the attacker," he said this trying to cheer himself up and lighten the situation but it hardly worked. He didn't feel as though this was a small stroke of luck at all.  
  
Zell averted his eyes from the obvious fact that Squall was upset "I heard that rumor. Never thought I'd hear myself defending that bastard," it was a feeble attempt to cheer him up but also sincere in tone.  
  
Squall was about to respond but the toll of the Garden's bell cut him off. He purposely ignored the loud melody and promptly returned to watching the unconscious Seifer.  
  
Zell nudged the gunblade box with a red tennis-shoe. "Maybe you should go. I mean you have a class don't you?"  
  
Squall cursed inwardly. Zell was right. He needed to get going. Why did he feel the need to stay here with Seifer anyway? It wasn't as if he could do anything to help him by staying here. Perhaps it was that nagging guilt-what was he thinking! Guilt over what? Squall closed his eyes momentarily to gather his thoughts before standing, taking the gunblade, and exited the hall.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
If he thought himself guilty or not he was truly too preoccupied to appropriately teach a class. Because of this he had the students spend their time reviewing the appropriate skills to junction to the gunblade, the proper GFs to draw abilities from pertaining to the weapon, and the hazards of overusing a GF.  
  
School continued in this fashion and Squall barely avoiding Rinoa, getting a lunch from the Cafeteria. Even when he got back to where he taught the lunch was eaten absently, part of it even dropped much to his annoyance.  
  
It was only when the class that Seifer was in came did Squall tune in a little. The students were occupied with "busy work" and one voice whispering could be heard easily by the whole. So of course when a teenage male and female began whispering between each other he heard it clearly.  
  
"Where's that guy-" she seemed to be racking her brain for a name "The guy who was with the sorceress at one time-ah-" she chewed upon her bottom lip and then victoriously slurred out "Seifer."  
  
The boy's ears perked at the name and he looked up from his portable desktop (standard issue for if away from the homeroom console). "You didn't hear?" it was obviously the highlight of his day.  
  
"Hear?" the girl played her hands over the plastic top of the flat monitor.  
  
"Something attacked him last night," he said with a smile 'I'd like to thank whoever did it. He was a danger here."  
  
Squall almost charged at the student from where he stood but instead repressed the surge of anger "You, Go!"  
  
The teen looked up confused "Huh?"  
  
"Go back inside," he said a bit more calmly but none the less angrily "I don't want to see you in this class again."  
  
The boy opened his mouth to protest but, unsure of what he had done in the first place gathered his gunblade and laptop and trudged off back into the school.  
  
The female teen looked from the boy to the teacher with wide eyes and then instantly went back to her studying. Squall continued to be preoccupied with thought.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
All his classes were finished and with this Squall headed back to the infirmary, telling himself it was only because he didn't wish to deal with Rinoa. Entering the room he noticed Dr. Kadowaki absent from where he had seen her earlier, asleep at the desk. Entering the bed hall he found her, standing over Seifer's bed with Headmaster Cid. Squall's eyes darted between the two and fearing the worst he took a few steps forward.  
  
Both the Doctor and the Headmaster's attentions were called to him. Cid bobbed his head in greeting "Squall, good timing, I was wishing to speak with you as well."  
  
Squall walked forward, eyes focused on Seifer. "I wanted to speak to you as well."  
  
"Of course," the Cid said something in a soft voice to the Doctor, obviously requesting her to leave as she left the room immediately, retreating to the main office of the infirmary. Cid looked back to Squall. "I'm sure you were going to ask of this "attacker"."  
  
Squall said nothing, assuming his silence spoke for itself.  
  
Cid took this as a "yes" and continued. "We're not sure what it is but we think we have a suspect."  
  
"Who would be-" Squall urged, curious himself.  
  
"Well…Seifer Almasy…"  
  
Squall couldn't believe what he was hearing "What!" he demanded "Are you implying Seifer attacked himself!" he said, louder then intended, motioning back to the still unconscious young man behind him.  
  
Cid was taken aback by his reaction but spoke anyway "No, we don't believe he did this to himself. We believe that he's assisting whatever did this and what we see here is something staged to cover its tracks."  
  
Squall looked away in disgust "You're wrong."  
  
'We very well could be," Cid acknowledged, however he sounded doubtful "This is why we want you to keep an eye on him when he- as we suspect -wakes."  
  
The brunette neither agreed nor objected. Instead he kept his eyes averted and left the infirmary reluctantly.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall approached his dorm but was immediately halted as Selphie poked her head from the door before he could even put the key in the lock. "There you are!" she said happily, her voice in deep contrast with her angry expression.  
  
Saying nothing Squall simply stared at her, curious as to why she had been in his dorm room.  
  
Selphie swung the door open completely, settling her hands on the yellow fabric at her hips "Rinoa was looking all over for you today. You disappeared after your classes and she said you were too sick to listen last night?"  
  
"Ah-" Squall tried to voice an elaboration upon the excuse but Selphie didn't need to hear it, launching immediately into the rest "She's visiting Deling for-well how long and for what reason has skipped my mind. She'll be back soon though,"  
  
Again Squall was about to speak when a second voice sounded from inside "Why is your dorm so much bigger than mine?" Squall recognized the voice as Zell's.  
  
Selphie frowned, retreating into the room to answer his question "Because it's clean," Apologetically she looked back to Squall who had entered the room after her to find several clothes strewn across the sofa, showing that Selphie had helped Rinoa pack and Zell had simply tagged along. Squall gathered that Zell hadn't helped at all and had instead spent the time he could have been working sitting upon the end of the bed (visible through the open door) and channel surfing as he was now. "Anyway," the peppy teen added, remembering something she was supposed to do as well "Rinoa told me to give you this-" Selphie stood on her toes to reach Squall and-  
  
"Don't pass that on!" Zell shouted after a double take from where he sat.  
  
Selphie dropped back onto her heels and sighed "I guess it wouldn't have the same effect-well you got the idea." She looked back to Zell now who was scrutinizing the situation carefully should she try to "deliver a second message." Selphie motioned Zell to exit with her "Let's go," noticing Squall's silence she didn't think he was in the mood to chat.  
  
Squall watched the two leave, waving a weak goodbye. With little else to do today, he moved the clothes away with a short swipe, knocking them to the floor so that he could stretch out upon the sofa. He was tired of thinking this entire situation over, he just wanted to sleep without interruption.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall awoke the next morning, slightly surprised. He hadn't meant to sleep this long and had only been on the sofa for a short nap. This was the second day he had slept in these clothes and now he was feeling quite unclean. Shedding these clothes he took a short shower, remembering that Rinoa was absent and heading to the closet, using a white towel to hurriedly rub his hair dry. The contents of the closet only proved further that Squall wasn't all that social. All the garments hanging within were almost identical- white shirts and pants of dark shades. A SeeD uniform hung at a far end, a second currently being cleaned.  
  
Squall took one of the shirts and a pair of pants from separate hangers and then was drawn to look at a few of the empty ones hanging. Even clothing missing it was obvious that Rinoa had a larger selection of clothing than he. She was always going to some social engagement or dragging him along to some party. Squall couldn't stand these parties and dinner dates. The only party he ever cared to go to was the Garden Festival and then only due to the fact that Selphie would have his head if he didn't.  
  
Unwilling to linger here any longer Squall drew away from the closet, dropped the towel and got dressed once more. Retrieving his jacket from the back of a chair, Squall left the room.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
This was only the second morning Squall had made his way, first-thing, to the infirmary and yet it felt as if he had been doing so for an eternity now. He hoped he wouldn't find Cid in the room once more as he had the afternoon before. Indeed when Squall came to the entrance he knew Cid was not inside for he was already at the door with Dr. Kadowaki. As Squall drew slowly closer Cid caught sight of the SeeD and waved Squall over.  
  
Squall was of course headed in that direction anyway and he chose not to offend Cid by breezing past.  
  
"We're planning on canceling all classes today. We don't want to take anymore chances," the Headmaster said solemnly.  
  
"There were more attacks?" Squall asked without much concern.  
  
"No," Cid assured "But-we fear there will be soon. One of the attacked students…died this morning…"  
  
Squall didn't wait for a name. His heart feeling as though it had made a leap to his throat he rushed inside, through the office and into the bed hall. Eyes darting over the patients Squall took notice of Seifer and hurried to his side and fixed his eyes upon the young man to make sure he was still breathing. Indeed Seifer's chest was still rising and falling steadily and with a sigh of relief Squall sank into one of the stools. After a moment he glanced around to the other patients. Only three. It seemed as though they had already removed the body. Swallowing in realization, Squall looked back to Seifer, knowing that what had happened to that student could just as easily happen to him. The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and supported his elbows upon his thighs, setting his head into his hands. Why did he care so much? Only a few years ago the two had been fighting eachother and now he was desperate just to hear his rival's voice again-  
  
"Squall?"  
  
Squall's head shot up and his eyes darted back to Seifer. The blonde had now propped himself up with one elbow and was looking somewhat sleepily and confused towards Squall "Where am I?"  
  
Squall felt his jaw go slack and for a moment he felt like embracing the young man before him but suppressed the emotion as he realized what this meant. The fact that Seifer was conscious would only support Cid's theory. Desperate for an idea on how he could solve this he stood immediately, knocking over the stool in the process. Glancing once more back to Seifer, Squall hurried back to the door. The Doctor and Headmaster were gone, no doubt taking care of the body. However he knew the Doctor could not be far away with patients here.  
  
"Would you mind filling me in on-" Squall looked back to see Seifer at the door, leaning against the frame to support his long unused limbs. His question paused as memories seemingly rushed back into his mind, including that moment with Squall.  
  
"Seifer," Squall knew what he was remembering and overlooked this fact momentarily "There's something I have to tell you," he took Seifer by the shoulder should he stumble along the way.  
  
Seifer was about to protest when "All classes are canceled for the day. All students please remain in your dorms until further notice," perhaps there was something he needed to tell him.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall locked the door to his office behind them. He didn't want to explain to a second person should Rinoa choose this moment to come home. Straightening he looked behind him where Seifer was leaning again his desk, waiting for some balance to return "What happened."  
  
There was a moment of hesitation as Squall took two steps away from the door and towards the wall "It's the attacks-someone died."  
  
Seifer nodded solemnly. He thought this would happen (nothing ever hit the Garden at a small scale) and wasn't particularly surprised that it had. "That's not it is it?" he also knew there had to be more.  
  
"No," Squall admitted, looking away and trying to choose his words carefully.  
  
Seifer waited for elaboration but when none came he forced it on "And-"  
  
"They think you're assisting the attacker-" he spat angrily. It was obvious that he thought they were making a huge mistake.  
  
Again Seifer didn't seem surprised at the news. "I suppose they have the right to make that assumption," he said though not in the happiest or most thrilled tone.  
  
"They don't!" Squall glared at him as if he was the accuser "That happened three years ago! They have no right to assume-" unsure of what else to say, Squall leaned against the wall and slid to the floor in defeat.  
  
Now that was odd, Seifer watched him in slight confusion and then simply annoyance "Will you get up? There's no way you're that upset over this."  
  
A bit embarrassed now, Squall stood and went to the other end of the desk-there weren't that many places to stand in the office. "There must be something we can do to prove them wrong."  
  
"We?" Seifer, arms already crossed where he leaned, looked to Squall.  
  
Squall pretended not to have heard that last comment and continued anyway "Do you remember seeing anything before you were attacked?"  
  
"Not a thing," Seifer said in the exhale of a sigh.  
  
"It's too bad you're not still in that comma," this comment caused Seifer to truly stare. Perhaps that was the wrong choice of words "I mean to say-that is-never mind."  
  
A familiar smile crossed Seifer's face and he gave a short laugh "I know what you mean. Well, I'm not I was sick of dreaming."  
  
"You were dreaming?"  
  
"Yes Squall-I was dreaming. That's generally what one does from time to time when not conscious."  
  
Squall took a step closer to Seifer "What sort?"  
  
Seifer stared once more "Nothing that would help my case if that's what you'd like to know. Will you just stop trying? You're not helping."  
  
Squall faced the wall and took a step away furiously "Then excuse me for trying. I don't know why it even mattered to me in the first place."  
  
There was a shaky quality to his voice, which Seifer picked up immediately. Suddenly he felt guilty over his earlier words and with no true idea why. The smug expression fading from his face, Seifer stepped forward and looked to Squall "I didn't mean to-that is-" Seifer wasn't nor had ever been particularly good with apologies and it showed as Squall said nothing and instead took another step away, breaths coming a bit jerkily "Squall-" Seifer shook his head, forgetting the feeble attempt at a verbal apology and wrapped his arms around the brunette from behind. Seifer's head bowed forward, lips brushing against Squall's cheek before he realized what he was doing and pulled away.  
  
Squall stood still for a moment and then moved to face him. Seifer squeezed his eyes shut for a well-deserved punch but was given quite a surprise when Squall rushed forward, throwing his arms around him instead. Squall was still relatively shorter than Seifer and due to this his head rested upon Seifer's still bare chest. Squall attempted to suppress a sob but to little avail "They're going to take you away and-"  
  
"Hey-" Seifer pushed him just far away enough to view his face. It was clear that this entire situation was upsetting him "It's fine, nothing's happened yet and-" 'yet'- Seifer almost cursed. He wasn't going to help any this way. "Squall-" Seifer stopped himself from saying anything more and simply pulled Squall closer once more. Hands ungloved from the infirmary and went to the sides of his face allowing Seifer to bed down and plant a comforting kiss upon his cheek. Another failure, he knew and was about to pull away from Squall and the confused questioning when the unexpected happened. Squall raised his own hands, one circling his neck and the second resting upon the back of his head to prevent him from pulling away. Leaning back his head, he forced his lips onto Seifer's.  
  
Without thinking Seifer kissed back, hands going to Squall's waist. Squall responded with a start, jerking to the side and then in realization taking a step forward. The step caused Seifer to bump into the desk behind them and Squall pressing harder against his chest and lips forced Seifer to lie back onto the desk. Squall followed closely, allowing Seifer's movements to pull him atop the rough surface as well. Their mouths apart now, Squall ran his shadowed hands under the trench coat. Leaning his head back, Seifer moved his arms to the side, allowing Squall to slip the arms of the coat off of Seifer completely so that the off-white fabric was pinned beneath them. With his torso now completely bare, Squall sat back on his heels, leaning in to kiss first at his chest. Moving up, his lips ran across the hollow of his neck to his jaw and then stopping finally back at his lips.  
  
Seifer moved his arms from the side and raised his hands to move under Squall's jacket this time, pushing the black cloth off so that it dropped to the ground immediately. Pulling away a second time, Squall crossed his arms over to separate points of his own shirt, and slipped it over his own head before Seifer pushed himself up as well. Squall arched his neck as Seifer dropped his own hands to his waist once more, fingers working through the belt-loops, thumbs working their way between the waist line and his flesh. His lips played at Squall's arched neck, tracing his collarbone with the tip of his tongue and then stopping to kiss at a tender area between cheekbone and the far side of the throat.  
  
It was then that a clink at the door sounded and Squall remembered that one person had a key to this room after all.  
  
  
Well this concludes another chapter. I hope it was all right. I'm slightly off this week as I've been living off Lean Pockets and caffeine. Please continue to review and tell me how the fic is.  
Veyall


	3. Keeping Secrets

  
Enigmatic Hatred  
By Shade  
  
"I really didn't need to see that," The door had long been closed then locked again. Squall was now rushing about gathering jacket and shirt off the ground. Seifer was still sitting on the desk, one leg dangling of as he glared at the intruder.  
  
"Why are you in here anyway?" Squall asked in a slurred tone as he literally dove over to the opposite side of the desk in search of the white shirt. "Rinoa's the only one with the key." Squall paused as he spoke that last name.  
  
Zell glanced up from where he sat in the pulled out chair that had only a moment ago been behind the desk. He looked as if he would feel much better crawling under the seating, curl up, and die. As he had said earlier 'he really hadn't needed to see that' and was regretting checking a second place after the dorm proved empty. "Well, Rinoa left the key with Selphie. A few minutes ago Rinoa called and Selphie gave it to me to come and tell you that she would be back the day after tomorrow." Zell lowered his eyes again as Seifer continued to glare. It seemed he wasn't thrilled with this intrusion…of course…neither was Zell.  
  
Squall pushed Seifer's leg aside to crawl out from under the desk, now holding the white shirt. This had obviously cause him to loose his cool completely. He had good reason to loose his cool, he had a girl friend, he was a teacher (bringing into light the fact that Seifer was still a student), and he had never…at least until now…given thought to the fact that he might be homosexual. "Zell, you can't say anything."  
  
Seifer paused in his glaring for a moment to look down at Squall who was now standing. Squall realized his own words before catching the glance from Seifer. Apologetically he looked to him "The Headmaster won't listen to me at all if he finds out about this. Any chance I have at convincing the Garden it wasn't you will be gone." - among other things.  
  
The blonde didn't object but neither did he condone this idea. It was quite clear that he saw through Squall's worry and knew that there was more to it than that. Zell on the other hand simply nodded in response to the first question. He was too confused to add more questions atop even more questions.  
  
Seifer watched Zell again and managed a half smile and a quirked eyebrow "The whole school will know by tomorrow."  
  
"Mmm," Squall frowned and bit his lower lip. It wasn't Zell he was so worried about. The boy loved to talk and only occasionally leaked information. Of course a leak was prone to sprout if Selphie probed him and in his current state she most certainly would. Selphie would most defiantly announce the news and first to Rinoa. Squall swallowed hard "Zell, not even Selphie."  
  
Zell's head shot up as if Squall had just asked him to teach a fruit bat the salsa - a task that might be relatively easier an just a little less absurd than keeping anything from Selphie for too long - "I-"  
  
Seifer dropped a second leg of the side of the desk and sank down a bit with an annoyed sigh "Just offer the chicken wuss a hotdog at the end of every day."  
  
A scowl came across Zell's face at the suggestion though a perk of his ears showed that he wouldn't mind a bit of bribery. "I'll try my best," he assured Squall-and only Squall-"But-" he shook his head, reminding himself that he still didn't want questions on questions "Well, I've really got to go now or Selphie will get suspicious. I was supposed to just come here and back. I promised I'd help her with the last preparations on the Garden Festival planning," still quite confused Zell stood and left, leaving the two alone once more.  
  
Seifer watched the spiky haired young man go and then looked to Squall as the door swung shut. Squall was already dressed in his shirt and jacket once more. It was clear he didn't plan on shedding them once more, any time soon. Seifer watched hurry to straighten out his clothing and frowned "Where are you going?" he asked, still seated on top of the desk.  
  
Squall's attention was called to Seifer as he tucked in his shirt. Honestly he wasn't sure. There were no classes to teach today and students weren't allowed out of their dorms. He didn't even have a mission as a SeeD yet because no one knew what the problem was. In this case it seemed he would be going to his room. It then occurred to Squall that Seifer didn't care so much about where he was going as compared to what he thought had just happened. Squall took a few steps towards the desk once more, still pulling at his clothing. "I don't know wh-" he paused, shaking his head "Seifer, there's Rinoa and-" he stopped completely now, looking down and remembering all the problems spawning from this.  
  
Seifer dropped from the desk, sliding from the trench coat still spread out on the surface. Reaching forward he rested his thumb and index finger beneath Squall's chin and tilted it back up "You don't love her and you know it," he said, the signature smile a little softer than usual.  
  
He was right and Squall knew it "But how do you know that I love you?"  
  
Seifer paused a moment and then simply shrugged "I don't but it's worth finding out isn't it." tipping his chin back further Squall leaned down in a kiss.  
  
Squall was lost in the moment for a few seconds, raising his arms to hands to rest at Seifer's shoulders. Realizing what he was doing, Squall pulled away and shook his head "Curfew-classes canceled. You've got to get back to your dorm."  
  
Seifer almost laughed but nodded instead, taking his trench coat from the desk and slipping it on. Squall then led the way to the door and into the hallway.  
  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
It seemed as though Cid had noticed Seifer's absence but was not worried. He had of course asked the SeeD to watch him and…well…no one could say he wasn't doing what was asked. Squall glanced about. The halls were empty at the moment and had he not just woken up an hour or two go he would have thought it to be night. Not even someone from the administration could be found which led Squall to believe that a meeting was being held somewhere in light of the recent events. They never allowed SeeDs in such meetings. The SeeDs were always the last to know, called out for most of the manual and little of the intellectual work.  
  
Thoughts such as these ran through Squall's mind as the two made their way down the outer circle path and down the dorm hall. Once to their destinations Seifer paused in surprise.  
  
"Hm?" Squall had already taken out his own key and was about to wish Seifer a goodnight when he caught sight of Seifer and followed his gaze to find the still fallen in doorway. For some reason he had assumed that would have been fixed by now.  
  
Seifer took a few steps towards the door (apparently going to see if he couldn't simply prop it up) when Squall stopped him "Why don't you just stay in my dorm? Rinoa is out."  
  
Seifer's eyes widened a bit as Squall spoke. He couldn't help but smirk as Squall opened the door completely and entered, leaving it open for Seifer to follow. Closing the door behind him the blond looked around with an amused "humph. Shedding his coat and folding over in his arms he looked to Squall who was gathering Rinoa's clothing from the packing off the ground. "My suspicions are confirmed, SeeDs get perks."  
  
Squall looked back with one of his rare smiles "Only a decent room." With an armful of feminine clothing, Squall approached the bedroom, nudging the door open with his side and sliding a drawer open to stuff the lot of it into. Pushing the drawer back into place Squall stood and returned to the bedroom doorway only to find Seifer standing in its frame.  
  
"A decent television as well-though I doubt that was one of SeeD's perks."  
  
"What's that supposed to-" Squall didn't get an answer nor felt a need to finish the question as the shirtless Seifer made his way across the room, sat upon the end of the bed, and switched on the television.  
  
Squall sighed and followed, taking a seat beside him and scanning the box in front of their eyes. Garden television abided by universal programming laws. After work hours was loaded with plenty of Primetime, specials, and late night comics while daytime television was proverbial crap. As Seifer changed channels it became increasingly obvious that only Soap Operas, court shows, and low budget talk shows were the only programs on. At last Seifer gave up completely and switched the entire thing off, tossing the remote control in Squall's direction.  
  
Squall caught the device in both hands, setting it down on the mattress. With a sigh he glanced to Seifer. My this was awkward.  
  
Seifer noted the sigh and returned the glance, his a tad more amused. It was overly clear how uncomfortable Squall was around him. Seifer felt a bit tense as well but had always been skilled with repressing any unwanted emotions. Smiling, Seifer stood and took a few backward steps to the bedroom door "Well I'm starving."  
  
  
Students at the Garden were treated as college students might be treated. They were expected to take care of themselves (save the younger students who lived with at least one adult). All dorms had a fridge, which was expected to remain stocked with provided cafeteria food should the cafeteria be closed on a day such as today.  
  
"The hell?" Seifer asked from where he stood, bent over, head vanished behind the open fridge door.  
  
Squall who had just followed him into the kitchen-again proving the fact that SeeD and teacher's rooms were much larger-had a good idea of what he was curious about. "Not much in the ways of pre-made foods."  
  
Seifer straightened, swinging the fridge door shut "Rinoa cooks?" he asked, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to think about that name and neither did Squall.  
  
A slight blush crossed Squall's face "No-I do."  
  
The blonde supressed a laugh, it wasn't that he thought any less of Squall for it and while he'd never admit it out load he found this hidden talent 'cute'. "Cook then," he made an over dramatic gesture to the fridge.  
  
Pink cheeks went to crimson as Squall detected a laugh. Ignoring this he approached the fridge. He did cook though not that often. Only when the cafeteria was out or he simply felt like it. Now he retrieved several items from the refrigerator and a box of pasta from the pantry above.  
  
"You really do know what you're doing don't you?" Seifer judged, watching the brunette work around the kitchen, taking a pot recently filled with water and setting it on to boil. "Need any help?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
"You can help by leaving the kitchen," Squall said causing Seifer to straighten nervously before Squall flashed a soft smile over his shoulder to show he was only kidding.  
  
Seifer rolled his eyes and cross to an out-of-the-way area in the corner anyway. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest "Cid isn't the only reason you don't want anyone to know about what happened in the office, is it?"  
  
There was an awkward pause as Squall stopped what he was doing to think over the question. He knew the answer but he was afraid of how to answer. "I-"  
  
Seifer shook his head to silence him. He knew the answer by that alone and it didn't truly bother him. Squall was only human and Seifer would have probably felt the same had he a reputation to harm. He then noticed Squall's expression and knew that the question was still bothering him. "It's fine Squall. Besides, I'm sure Zell can keep this away from Selphie."  
  
The bothered expression metamorphosed into a confused one. Seifer had only minutes ago thought that the news would e everywhere by morning.  
  
Seifer gave Squall a smirk "We both forgot about the Garden festival, it's coming up. Selphie will be too busy to care and will have Zell so busy he wouldn't have a chance to tell if he wanted to."  
  
Squall couldn't help but smile but it faded as he remembered what that meant, "I'd forgotten the Garden Festival was so soon."  
  
"She still forces you to go?" Seifer snickered.  
  
"It's not funny," Squall frowned, focusing his attention on cooking "She's a wolf in sheep's clothing and the wolf doesn't show unless it's around festival time. Then she forces duties and invites upon all her friends."  
  
The smirk didn't fade "Is it really all that bad?" he asked in a sarcastic tone. Seifer had never attended a Garden Festival. Until Selphie had transferred not a school function had come through and once she had he had never truly felt that he would be wanted to drop by.  
  
"A large clutter of students socializing to a "band" that you know personally performing on stage."  
  
Seifer rolled back his shoulders, resting both hands at the edge of the counter now "-And socializing isn't the "Ice Princes'" specialty-"  
  
Squall glared at the blonde which only caused him to laugh harder. "You enjoy making me angry don't you?" Squall raised a brow.  
  
"You haven't noticed this by now?" Seifer stepped forward with an almost playful tilt of his head.  
  
"No-yes, I mean-I just thought thing's would be different now tha-" he paused again as the crimson returned to his cheeks.  
  
Seifer stopped laughing though the smirk remained "Now that what?" he teased, crossing the rest of the distance between them to wrap his cross his arms around the brunette who was now emptying pasta into a pot of boiling water.  
  
Squall was about to protest but instead let out a moan as Seifer's left hand trailed up his shirt and the second down to his hips. The right hand prodded against the waistline and his palm slipped downwards. Squall's own hands went up to the fingers under his shirt, squeezing him close just before-"Ouch!" Squall opened one eye as a flying droplet of boiling water stuck his cheek-bone "Hey, hey," Squall pushed Seifer back (who was now feeling the hot spray of the boiling over water as well.) Quickly Squall switched the heat down and stepped away as the splashing subsided. Sighing as he waited, Squall glanced back to Seifer with a not-so-stern look "You've lost kitchen privileges, go," Squall pointed away from the stove, indicating he couldn't cook and become sexual aroused without burning down the entire dorm. A smile tugged at Seifer's lips and reluctantly he did his bidding.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall finished cooking soon enough and retrieved Seifer from the bedroom, where the blonde was deeply engrossed in a daytime movie on television. Together the two ate, speaking of people they knew, training sessions, and happenings outside the Garden. Squall was surprised to find that he was beginning to enjoy Seifer being in his company, someone he had once thought of as simply his rival. Of course now it was getting late and the two were running out of topics. Seifer shut off the television once more as he caught a yawn from Squall.  
  
"Ready to go to bed?" Seifer asked, standing without an answer.  
  
Squall stifled the yawn and swallowed. Nervously he looked to the bed and then back to Seifer.  
  
Catching the motion Seifer felt his lip twitch but shook his head assuringly "I planned on spending the night at the sofa."  
  
Squall released a breath of relief as Seifer simply kissed him on the cheek before exited the room and heading towards the couch. As soon as Seifer left, Squall shed his jacket and shirt and folding them over, lowered himself into bed.  
  
-^- /\ -^-  
  
Squall opened his eyes to darkness. A hand touched at the soft comforter on his chest and pushing it back he hoisted his slender torso from the mattress. An internal clock told him it was still the middle of the night and his body urged him to drop back and down and get some sleep. He knew there was some reason he had woken but-oh well, it was best just to obey the urge to lie back down. He was just leaning back when a voice sounded from outside. It was a scream.  
  
Squall pressed forward with a start, moving from the blankets and lying down on the opposite end of the bed so that he could see out the bedroom door. The doorway only revealed a second, this open doorway the front and outside this doorway-Seifer? Indeed it was Seifer who stood there, shirtless and hair disheveled as though he had just woken as well. His back was to Squall but from his stance alone he could tell that he was nervous. Around him were gathering students, keeping a good distance. Most were whispering, others matching the scream that had first drawn his attention. Their eyes, however, were all the same focused at a point on the ground.  
  
Squall squinted his eyes, hopeful to catch a glimpse of whatever it was as well. As he made out the shadowed point he was sorry had. A young female student lie sprawled on the ground before Seifer. A bloodstain had pulled around her head and she didn't seem to be stirring. Squall opened his mouth call out Seifer's name but was silenced as running footsteps sounded. The administration? Again Squall wanted to warn Seifer but a gunshot sounded, silencing both the brunette and Seifer as a bullet tore through the blonde's chest. Squall felt his breath stop-a sick feeling rising in his throat. Suddenly a hand slammed the door shut as Seifer fell and Squall rose to his knees.  
  
It was pitch black in the room now but Squall jumped from the bed anyway, throwing the covers aside "Seifer!" he screamed running forward and out of the bedroom. "Seifer!" he reached for the door but fell short as something looped around his middle and held him back from behind. Squall groaned in effort, fingers straining for the doorknob just inches away.  
  
"Squall!" whatever was behind him shouted, squeezing him tighter and taking a step back.  
  
Squall fell limp, mouth going open as he stopped struggling enough so that the arms would release around him. Looking back his suspicions were confirmed as Seifer met his stare with one of worry.  
  
"What's wrong?" Seifer demanded though there was no angry tone in his voice.  
  
Squall looked him over Was it really him. Both of Squall's hands pressed against the taller man's chest but found no wound "Out the door-I just saw-you-"  
  
Seifer was catching on now, sighing in relief himself he put a hand upon Squall's shoulder "You had a nightmare."  
  
A nightmare? Squall closed his eyes in an attempt to sort through fact and fiction, something difficult after just waking. In realization he sank into Seifer's arms.  
  
Seifer was taken aback for a moment but noting Squall's current state attempted to comfort him as he had before, wrapping his arms around the brunette and holding him close.qw2  
  
Squall didn't move for a long while and Seifer was becoming tired. Carefully he removed one hand from around Squall's back and bent down to place it at his knees, scooping the 'Ice Prince' into his arms. Squall simply kept his head against Seifer's chest and didn't move until he was carried into the bedroom and placed upon the bed. Now upon his back he opened those soft blue eyes just in time to see Seifer walking calmly out of the room. "Wait," Squall sat up and spoke without thinking.  
  
Seifer paused and looked back at Squall "I told you. It as only a dream," he assured once more.  
  
"I know but-" now Squall was embarrassed. Looking down towards his hand clenching the covers he squeezed his eyes shut tight.  
  
"Happy?" came a teasing voice. Squall opened his eyes and looked to his left to find that Seifer had understood him well without further words.  
  
Squall nodded and went back down on the mattress. However, even with Seifer here now he couldn't sleep "Seifer?"  
  
With a sigh the blonde lying beside him tilted his head in Squall's direction "Yes?"  
  
Squall kept his eyes to the ceiling "What was your dream about-you said it was important but-"  
  
Seifer sighed once more. It seemed as though this last dream had made Squall curious "It was a nightmare I guess," he answered simply.  
  
"What sort of nightmare-" Squall urged.  
  
Seifer frowned. He really wanted to just sleep but it didn't seem as though he would be allowed to right now "The normal sort I guess," he lied   
  
This quieted Squall for a moment but not much longer than this "Why are you doing this?"  
  
Again Seifer opened his eyes and tilted his head in Squall's direction "Doing what?" he asked, going completely to his side and resting a hand on Squall's arm in the process.  
  
"That," Squall answered.  
  
Seifer shook his head "You're kidding right?" slightly annoyed but determined to make him understand he kissed Squall softly on the lips and then pulled back "Because I love you, that's why.  
  
Squall watched Seifer draw back to the pillow and after the words sank in frowned "Just like that?" they had only been together this morning. There had been some pleasure, yes but that didn't always come paired with love.  
  
"Not just like that," he said calmly, ending the conversation by going to his other side, no longer facing Squall and leaving the brunette to wonder what he had meant by that.  
  
  
That's it for chapter three of the fic. I hope it wasn't as bad as I think it was. I promise the story is about to pick up. In fact it should start picking up in the next chapter. Please continue reviewing and thank you to those who have.


	4. Burning Your Love

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I am so sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out- as if anyone's reading - . Anyway, my computer decided to crash and I had to get it repaired, reinstall all the software, ect. I'm so happy to be writing again ::sighs:: I was developing a severe case of withdrawal.

Squall awoke slowly and for the second time that morning. Lazily he remained still, eyes fixed on the ceiling. It took him a good while to collect his thoughts which were scattered after a long nights dreamless sleep. Now that memories flooded his mind he felt a bit unnerved about his earlier nightmare. With a defiant sigh he dismissed the dream and allowed passage for the next thought. Seifer. Oh dear, where was Seifer. It didn't take long for him to realize that he had been asleep halfway upon the blonde (the discovery of this aided by an overdramatic moan from Seifer).

"Oh!" Squall, startled sat up in the bed and glanced down at the older man still lying on the mattress "How long have you been awake?" he asked with an embarrassed blush.

"Mmm," Seifer hummed thoughtfully, propping himself up on his elbows and tilting his head "About half an hour I suppose."

Squall frowned "Why didn't you wake me up?" he grumbled glancing at the digital clock on the bedside table. The cafeteria was now surely serving breakfast and he should have started preparing for the day's classes last night. "Well?" he repeated, standing as no answer came.

"Because I enjoy watching you when you're sleeping," he stood as well, receiving a confused stare from Squall at the uncharacteristic answer "And you talk in your sleep," he muttered audibly before disappearing through the frame.

There was a slight hiss from the brunette as he heard this "What did I say?" he demanded. 

Seifer was already gone and by the time Squall got to his feet and into the den, Seifer was opening doors curiously "Where's the linen closet?"

"What did I say?"

"Never mind, found it."

Squall scowled as Seifer draped a white towel over his left shoulder and made his way to the bathroom. 

"Mind if I take a shower," Seifer threw a half smile in Squall's direction.

"Yes," Squall spat, following after him "I want to know what you he-"

"Thanks,"

_Thud_

Obviously Seifer had ignored Squall's earlier words and was doing this simply to annoy him "I said-" Squall was cut off by the sound of running water. The brunette stood there for several long moments before calmly facing away from the door and making his way towards the kitchen faucet.

~^~^~^~

Squall emerged from the bathroom fully clothed and ignoring the angry looks from a dressed Seifer who was nursing blotchy water burns. The younger male couldn't help but crack a small smile as he crossed to the sofa, where Seifer sat, to retrieve his jacket.

He should have expected what came next, as the blonde looped an arm around Squall's middle and yanked him into his lap.

"I've got to get going," Squall said under his breath, reaching for his coat as lips net the side of his neck.

Again Seifer didn't pay much attention to his words and almost reluctantly, Squall pried his hands away and rose to his knees, still facing the blonde "I've got a class to teach," Squall slipped the jacket one arm at a time.

Squall leaned back on the sofa, hands behind his head "Now that sounds odd."

"What?" Squall murmured absently, tossing a glance over his shoulder and towards the digital alarm clock in the next room.

Seifer rested his hands on the back of Squall's thighs which were currently on either side the blonde. This obviously succeeded in calling back his attention "You've got a class," he repeated "I never thought you were the teaching sort."

"I'm not," Squall looked annoyed by the comment "I don't usually...it's just...it's decent pay when paired with being a SeeD...neither are great income on their own and I needed a job I knew well. Cid offered me this."

"Hmm," Seifer's hands went back to behind his head "If you say so."

Squall stood and retrieved his gunblade from his bedroom, prodding Seifer's with the toe of his shoe "You might need to get a move on it too."

"You have a tendency to stick with things even if you hate them don't you?"

Squall froze at the casual words from the next room. "What do you mean?" he knew exactly what Seifer ment...he was just stalling...

"You know what I mean," Seifer's voice was slightly annoyed 

There was a long pause and remained in the bedroom, lowering the gunblade case back to the ground "I don't 'hate' Rinoa," he said at last.

"You hate being involved with her," he said at once.

"You said you wouldn't being this up again," Squall picked the gunblade up again and marched across the room just in time to catch the words 'I don't remember saying anything of the sort-" before slamming the door.

~^~^~^~

"So, whatcha doin'?" Selphie sat, legs stretched out over the grass in front of Squall. It was between classes and the hyperactive young woman loved nothing more than paying surprise visits to whomever she could find.

Squall wasn't in the mood to humor her. He was still upset over his lack of defense that morning and was busy sitting in the chair he had pulled out onto the lawn for the class and fuming over neatly organized folders.

"Well," Selphie pouted slightly and began to twirl a piece of grass "What's bugging you? I thought you were out of the 'locked in my shell' stage."

"Ah-" Squall opened his mouth to say something but again unable to speak decided to change the subject "Have you heard anything about the attacks?"

"Hmm?" Selphie looked up and it took a moment for the words to sort out in her mind "Oh, yeah," Looking down she dropped the blade of grass and then straightened once more, putting her hands back to support her as she leaned back "Yeah, there were six attacks, that's an all time high. I'm investigating in and they said they already gave you orders."

Squall knew what she was speaking of but didn't respond save for a weak nod.

"Well, anyway, three more are dead so I guess that constitutes for something," Selphie looked over her shoulder. The school bells had just rang and she knew better than to interfere with a class. Of course weither she was going to acknowledge this or not was still to be determined "So what's bugging you?"

Again Squall didn't answer and Selphie stood as if to leave.

"I hope it's not the same thing that's bugging Zell," she said almost threateningly but changing the tone of her voice added "Not that he's keeping things from me-well-he's not telling me something so I guess he i-wait what am I telling you this for?" she smiled slightly and shook her head. The grin spreading she wrapped her arms around Squall in a usual one-way farewell hug and made her way across the green lawn.

Squall watched her go and then dropped the remainder of the folders in his hands. Glancing at the group of approaching students, one of which would undoubtedly be Seifer, Squall stood from the chair. He had decided earlier that they should probably just spar for the period. He didn't feel like dealing with Seifer after this morning and with an even number of students there was no chance than Squall would even be forced to look at him.

It didn't take long for the students to take seats upon the lawn, talking amongst themselves. Squall didn't bother to silence the group before speaking his instructions over the mass in his loudest voice.

The was inevitably more talking as students scrambled to claim their favorite partners. Squall sat back down, pretending to monitor as he sat thinking.

"Squall?"

His moment to himself was short-lived as a familiar voice came from his side. "I thought I had told students to spar," he said coldly, without looking up.

"No partner someone must be absent," Seifer replied coolly without a glance away from Squall.

Squall looked up and surveyed the class. Indeed it seemed as though everyone had a partner. It was then that he remembered the student he had kicked out of the class while Seifer was in the hospital wing. Cursing his past actions Squall reluctantly took his gunblade from where it rested atop the box and stood to face Seifer "Find, let's go." He walked a good distance away, as all the pairs had separated and raised the gunblade. As Seifer did the same he took first charge, rushing forward with the blade only to meet Seifer's Hyperian. 

Several more blows and the gunblades were locked once more. Seifer leaned in so that he could whisper and be heard "I didn't mean anything by this morning."

Squall frowned and pulled his own gunblade away, taking a few hopping steps back "Yes you did."

Seifer frowned and almost lazily rushed with the gunblade for a few more blows between the two "Fine, maybe I did. But you can't say it isn't true Squall you don't love Ri-Ah!" he scowled at his shoulder which had just met the sharp end of Squall's own gunblade. 

The brunette seemed as though he was even angrier at the last attempted sentance "Even if I didn't love Rinoa-" it was Squall who stuck first this time, only to be blocked again "That doesn't mean I'd come running to you-egh!" Seifer had landed a blow on Squall's side this round and it was the blonde who looked angry.

"Don't you think I know that?" he hissed under his breath so as not to be overheard by the distant fighting students "If you decide you'd rather not be with me at least don't stay with Rinoa. Don't make yourself miserable."

Squall paused and glancing down sighed and lowered his own gunblade for a moment. He looked to the students making sure they were still busy amongst themselves and then back to the grass in thought. At first there was no reason behind his constant silence but the more he thought about it, all those years he said nothing had taken its toll and now he had nothing to say in important situations. Swallowing he opened his mouth to speak taking his lack of words to mind. Luckily a pained shout from a student saved him.

Squall rushed away from Seifer and towards the fallen, whimpering, teen on the ground. He was clutching a bloodied arm which upon inspection was far from a fatal wound. Squall shook his head and drew a cure spell from his inventory "Everyone line up," he said almost lazily, motioning that he would heal anyone else who needed healing.

Sixteen students later Squall found himself without any more spells drawn "Would anyone have protests in heading down to the hospital wing?"

An excited whisper spread through the students. He knew half of them would end up nowhere near the hospital wing and none of them would come back but he cared very little. As soon as the students had filed back into the school, Squall looked back to Seifer.

The blonde had obviously had cures drawn before class since his wound was healed and Squall had gone nowhere near it. Upon seeing this he remembered the scratch at his own side. Without needing to be asked, Seifer leaned forward and placing a hand above Squall's left hip closed the wound. However, after the spell his hand didn't draw away and instead came to rest at the rip in his shirt.

"I didn't exactly get the apology I was looking for," he said softly, eyes once more averted.

Seifer smirked, raising the hand at Squall's waist to tip his chin upwards so that he could properly see him and it was just that much harder to look away "I don't plan on giving you one," he said simply, the smirk remaining upon his lips "I figure I'm being soft enough with you as is and you might be wise not to push it."

Squall stifled a laugh (something that drew Seifer's attention) and raised his own hands to move Seifer's. "I suppose this-" he put a finger through the hole in his shirt "Was one of those 'soft' moments?"

Seifer gave a soft laugh and took Squall by the hand, leading him to the shade of an aspen not to far from where they stood. This action was clearly to hide them from any eyes that might be looking out open windows or glass doors.

"About that...thing...you said earlier," the laugh was gone from his voice and the smirk from his face "We both know you're unsure of your feelings but well-"

"Ah," Squall knew what he meant considering chewed absently at his bottom lip "You know I don't love you Seifer-" he saw Seifer stiffen a bit but he didn't interrupt "But that doesn't mean I can't...eventually..." the words sounded forced and Squall cursed not being able to sound convincing.

Obviously Seifer found this to amusing because he laughed at the now blushing Squall "It's fine. I guess there was no real need for me to ask the question," smiling still he placed his hand back at Squall's waist and pulled him close.

The brunette started at first, caught off guard. Sighing the shorter male tilted his head back and gripped both Seifer's forearms with his hands making it so that Seifer couldn't help but bend in and kiss his lips. They stood in place for what seemed to be ages, lips against each others, hidden under the shade of the tree. It was only until they heard a bell ring in the distance that they pulled away, Squall looking, again, slightly embarrassed.

"Well I-ah-have a class and-"

"No you don't, not for a while," Seifer almost laughed again but instead walked across the lawn to his gunblade "Oh well, if you insist," silently but smirking he put the blade in its case. He stood and shifted as if to leave only to face Squall a final time "See you again tonight then?"

Squall felt the blood rush to his face "Yeah."

A/N: Well this chapter wasn't the best. Oh well, Rinoa returns in the next chapter (yes Alexial your request is approaching) so things should pick up in a bit. I also really am going somewhere with the attacks. Just hang in there and be aware that a mild character death will also arise. Anyway, keep the reviews (few though they are ::sniffles::) coming.


	5. Revenge In a Flask

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

"Hey Seifer?"

"Mmm?"

"Why do you think you love me?"

"Huh? Ah-mmm."

Squall frowned. He wasn't getting any proper responses now and there was good reason. Sighing he glanced to the clock and then the window. It was still dark but the flickering clock told him nothing and offered instead the notion that there had been a recent power outage. Seifer was in a semi-conscious state under Squalls head and seemed to be falling back into slumber between the brunette's words. Sighing in defeat, Squall settled himself back into a more comfortable position. His eyes did not close though. Instead he simply stared into the darkness, a thoughtful expression playing upon his face.

Hadn't they been in a fight only hours earlier? Well, Squall couldn't exactly claim that it had been a fight. If anything he had over reacted to what might well be the truth. Squall gave a start at the hand of the shoulder he was resting on took hold of his own forearm. He looked to Seifer hopefully but it was all to obvious that the blonde was still fast asleep. With a sigh, Squall moved further against Seifer's side and softly placed a kiss upon his cheekbone before closing his eyes and attempting to fall asleep.

Squall didn't get long to rest. The moment he found himself drifting off he was called back by a squeaking of the door. What was that? It took a few seconds for Squall to recognize what he was hearing. "Oh God." Raising to a sitting position in a hurry, the brunette gripped Seifer by the shoulders and making a point to cover his mouth, dropped the sleeping young man off the side of the bed. Squall came down on top of him, between wall and bed, so that one hand was still over Seifer's mouth and he could see bedroom door.

"Squall?"

Squall winced at that soft word from the doorway. It was a familiar voice and one he hadn't expected to hear so soon. Squall looked down, easily distinguishable below him rested a quite confused Seifer who was now fully awake. The smaller man lowered himself so that his chest pressed to Seifer's and his lips were just above his left ear "Rinoa," he hissed, looking back to the door though at this height a cushion was in the way. Looking back down he saw clearly the annoyed expression on Seifer's face. Squall didn't exactly have time to say anything further, for at that moment the bedroom door gave a creak.

Squall rushed back onto the bed and under the covers. Closing his eyes as Rinoa entered quietly and dropped her bags at the foot of the bed. She bumped into the dresser on her trek to the pajama drawer, reassuring Squall that her eyes were not yet suited to the darkness. At least that meant she hadn't seen Squall get back onto the mattress. He lie still as Rinoa discarded her clothes and slipped a white, silken, nightgown over her head. Within moments the raven-haired female was at his side and resting under the covers.

Squall waited a few minutes before faining a simple roll, as though still sleeping and dropping his hand over the edge of the bed. Slowly he reached about to find where Seifer was. His fingers touched nothing for several drawn out moments and then a hand clasped about his, giving him a start. Trying to recover from the jolt and hoping it hadn't disturbed Rinoa, he rested his fingers at the hand's wrist. A soft tug told Squall that the blonde had slid under the bed.. He was also none-too-happy about it either by proof of the tight grip around Squall's hand. In fact, by the time the brunette pulled away, he could no longer feel his fingers.

~^~^~^~

Morning came quickly enough. Squall hadn't slept so well for the remainder of the night. He kept drifting in and out of slumber, thinking he had felt something move under the bed and worried that Rinoa would wake and find Seifer. Of course no such thing happened and Squall at last opened his eyes a final time to see Rinoa sitting upon the end of the bed, pulling on thickly soled and brightly colored shoes. As though sensing Squall's stare she looked over her shoulder and smiled in the usual sweet fashion "School's canceled again, no teaching for you," looking back to her work she pulled on the second shoe and proceeded to tie it "I have to go to Selphie's. I have a surprise for you there that I think you'll like," smiling once more she stood and walked to Squall, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Waving goodbye she hurried from the room and out the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Squall was on his feet, or more realistically, knees as he slid to the floor and ducked under the bed.

"Can I come out now?" came an heated voice from within the shadows of the bed.

Moving away from the mattress, Squall gave Seifer enough room to slider out and bit his tongue as the blonde did so. He looked angrier than ever and with good reason to feel so. A night under the bed had obviously proved a sleepless night and the dust had not helped lighten the redness of his eyes. He looked miserable, like a man with an allergy to cat hair stuck in an old lady's house.

"Sorry," Squall offered apologetically but Seifer wasn't going to let him off so easily.

Scowling the taller of the men stood, dusted himself off, and stalked out of the room sneezing sneezes suppressed during the night.

~^~^~^~

Nothing to do. Squall sighed and flipped onto his back, head off the end of the bed and upside down watching the television. He had been watching talk and court shows all day and the boredom was getting to him. No one was allowed to stay in the hallways and he was quite sure that Seifer was catching up on his sleep. Hell, Squall would be happy to even see Rinoa about now but she had yet to return from Selphies and Squall didn't dare go near when those two were alone together. He pitied Zell at the very thought.

Squall yawned. He was about to consider taking a nap until someone came over but at that moment the door creaked open. Squall assumed it was Rinoa and was about to speak in greeting when a different voice sounded.

"Squall?"

Squall straightened, ears perking a bit. He knew that voice. Swinging his legs of the bed her hurried to the doorway "Ellone!"

The woman in the doorway grinned and crossed the room quickly to hug him.

Squall smiled. He hadn't seen Ellone in ages now "Where have you been?" he asked, pulling away from the embrace as Ellone held him out at arms length.

Ellone seemed to think the answer over a bit "I was in Timber up until yesterday. I stumbled across Rinoa and she invited me over for a visit." Ellone released Squall and followed him to sit on the sofa "She wanted me to surprise you at the part tonight but I wanted to see you right away. Of course I didn't visit you last night, it was much too late. I slept at Selphie and Zell's there's a pull-out bed there," she wrinkled her nose at the memory. Squall knew by experience that the "pull-out bed" was more of an accident waiting to happen. The middle drooped in and springs were the only support you had.

"You can sleep here tomorrow." Squall offered "You and Rinoa can have the bed, I'll take the sofa."

"I couldn't-" she seemed to think over her words for a moment but shook her head "I think I'll have to accept." she smiled sweetly and tugged her blue shawl absently.

"Wait-" the brunette had just recalled her earlier words "What party?"

"Oh," Ellone faced her little brother once more "Rinoa is planning a party. That's the reason she's at Selphies''. You see, after learning of all these deaths Rinoa thought it might lift spirits a bit if she threw a party."

"Is that really appropriate?" Squall was slightly alarmed.

Ellone smiled once more "It doesn't seem to be does it?" she paused a moment and looked around "Lovely dorm," she chimed genuinely "You share it with Rinoa, right?"

Squall tensed a bit "Yeah," he said giving the words a dead-pan tone.

"Well," Ellone smiled a bit hesitantly "I'm glad you found someone. And everyone else? How are they?"

Squall welcomed the change of topic with open arms "Well Selphie is fine, she and Zell share a dorm now but I'm sure you knew that."

Ellone covered her mouth to stifle a small laugh "Yes, the two are quite the interesting couple."

Squall nodded "Irvine and Petunia, you might not know her, she works in the library; well they share a dorm as well as do Quistis and James."

Another smile, this one uncovered, spread across Ellone's pink lips "How's Seifer and those two - Fuujin and Raijin - yes, how are they?"

Squall should have known she would ask about them. Ellone wasn't one to hold much of a grudge "Well," he began in a slightly shaky tone "Fujin and Rajin were transferred after they returned to school and-...Seifer...I guess Seifer's fine."

There was another nod and Ellone stood to glance through the bedroom doorway "Six all ready? I thought we had half an hour at least," frowning she looked to Squall "Shall we get going? Rinoa wouldn't want us to be late."

~^~^~^~

Delivery boy duty? Zell scowled at the pink and decorative paper in hand. At least he had gotten away from those two...of course....handing out invitations wasn't what he had had in mind.

_Zell! The pigs in a blanket are for the party! You're not helping at all! Just go hand out these, love ya', buh-bye._

It wasn't even a large party. Why couldn't they just call their friends? Zell sighed and approached the first dorm, Quistis's. Sighing, Zell knocked. There was no class to day, he doubted the two were still in their dorm. Sighing Zell knelt down to slip the note under the threshold when - BAM - The door swung open, nailing the blonde in the top of the head and sending him sprawling over the cold tile.

"Oh Zell!" Quistis slip between door and frame and hurried to Zell's aide "I'm so sorry!"

Soap filled almost all of Zell's senses and the young man opened his eyes to find a terrycloth robe two inches before his nose "Uh," Zell felt around, hand settling on one of the papers he had dropped "Eh," he struggled to straighten giving Quistis the cue to let him sit up "This is for you."

The older female took the paper from his outstretched hand. She was kneeling beside him, dripping and clutching her robe closed with one hand. James appeared in the doorway behind her, rubbing his red eyes and clutching an open book.

"It's a party. Tonight at six," Zell said simply. He could tell Quistis was struggling to read without her glasses.

"Oh?" she quirked a brow as though this was unusual "Ah...wonderful...we'll be there."

Zell wasn't in the mood to stay and chat. Rubbing his head he gathered his papers and stood. Hurrying off to the next room Zell could barely make out shouted apologies as he disappeared down the hallway.

~^~^~^~

Irvine's dorm. Zell knocked tentively at the door. When no answer came he tried again only louder. Still no answer. Well Zell wasn't about to slip another notice under the door. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a key chain. SeeDs stationed at the Garden were eventually given a sort of master key. This came in quite handy on occasion and Zell was planning to slip in and place the notice on the coffee table nearest the door.

Hoping no one noticed Zell slipped in quickly and crossed part of the room before-

"Nnnnnh, Irvine!"

Zell froze "Oh God not again."

"The hell," the knocking hadn't gotten Irvine's attention but this had. The nude cowboy looked up from where he and Petunia lye on the floor "Do you mind Zell!" he nearly screamed as the girl under him scrambled to cover herself up.

"No-I mean-sorry-I mean-here!" Zell threw the slip down and sped from the room, slamming the door behind him. Why did he always seem to walk in on these sort of things?

~^~^~^~

Zell groaned. The next dorm was Seifer's and he wasn't too keen on the idea of visiting him though it had been his fault the blonde had been invited. Rinoa and Selphie had forgotten that he even existed until Zell asked why his name wasn't on one of the invitations. He and his big mouth.

Frown deepening Zell knocked on the door. He was wondering what he would do this time if no one answered when the door swung open slightly.

Seifer stood sleepily in the frame. He was shirtless and his hair was ruffled giving Zell the impression that he had been asleep up until now.

"Here," Zell held out the notice "Taking advantage of the day off for sleep?" he asked innocently as Seifer took the notice a bit grogily.

"Huh, oh, what time is it?" Seifer put his weight against one side of the frame and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

Zell shrugged "About three." He was surprised Seifer hadn't said anything about a chicken wuss needing to mind his own business, yet. In a bit of an undertone he decided to add a bit more "Squall isn't in there is he?"

Seifer seemed to wake up a bit more at that last comment "Agh, no." the taller man shifted uncomfortable and pretended to look over the pink paper in hand.

"What? Did you get in a fight?" Zell decided to be a bit bold.

Seifer obviously didn't appreciate this "Why would I tell you chickenwuss?"

Well there you have it. Zell sighed. Normally he would take that personally but today he just wasn't in the mood to fight...which said a lot..."Tch, fine, whatever you say," he shuffled the papers absently and faced away to leave "I'm in a hurry anyway."

"No, we didn't have a fight," Seifer groaned. He wasn't quite sure why he had responded. Perhaps it was because he was just that desperate for conversation. Besides Squall not many people even acknowledged his existence positively anymore.

Zell faced Seifer a bit surprised...more so with the presence of an answer than the words themselves "Then what-" he paused in realization "Oh-Rinoa came home last night didn't she?"

"Sharp," Seifer said a bit mockingly "Yeah, she came home late last night "

He knew he probably shouldn't be but Zell was quite curious now "Did she-" it was pretty clear that she hadn't seen anything but Zell either wasn't too quick on the uptake or simply thought it worth asking regardless.

"No," Seifer sounded almost disappointed "I hid and I think it's been ages since that bed's been cleaned out."

"Ew," Zell wrinkled his nose at the thought of spending a night under Squall's bed but shook his head "That doesn't sound good at all dude."

Seifer rolled his eyes "Of course it wasn't....hey is lunch still going...?"

"Uh-school was cancelled again, I don't think so. I wish it was," Zell glanced angrily towards the direction of his dorm "They won't let me touch a thing in the fridge down there."

Seifer was about to ask who "they" were but changed his mind, the fact that the pink paper he had been handed had read party was finally sinking in. "Agh, if you want to explain a little more about this-" he held the notice out slightly "You can have lunch here."

Normally Zell would have hesitated...or even walked away...but he was too hungry to care that an old enemy was inviting him in for lunch "More than happy," Zell beamed and tossed the remainder of the pink notices over his shoulder before hurrying past Seifer and inside.

~^~^~^~

"I know we invited more people then this," Selphie said sulkily to Squall who had just entered with his sister.

"Huh?" Squall looked around. Indeed the party was fairly empty. Irvine, Rinoa, Petunia, Quistis, James, and a couple he had never met. This didn't bother him though. Squall wouldn't have gone to the party at all had it not been for Ellone insisting.

"Zell," Selphie seethed and clenching her fists stalked over to the punch bowl where Irvine and Petunia were talking wearily.

Squall glanced at his sister who seemed to be about to say something before Rinoa interjected "Squall! I see Ellone found you!" Rinoa threw her arms around Squall's neck and smiled to Ellone who frowned slightly and excused herself with a nod.

Squall watched his sister head toward the unknown couple with a bit of loathing. She could have stuck around just a little longer instead of leaving him with the person he least wanted to see at the moment.

"We stumbled across each other while I was away, sorry for not telling you this morning," grinning she stood on tip toe and pressed her lips against his...a motion that was interrupted by a well placed cough that caused Squall to look away...The brunette blushed furiously as he saw Zell a little past the doorway and an annoyed Seifer not far behind.

"Goooood!" Selphie chimed before rushing over to Zell and taking his arm to usher him into a far corner.

Squall looked to Rinoa and then to Seifer making a shrugging motion before rushing away himself, hoping to at least appear to be in conversation.

~^~^~^~

The party was perhaps half through when Zell finally found his way from Selphie who had just managed to forgive him "Oh," Zell sank into a chair near the refreshment table and dropped his head onto the surface with a thud.

"This is a horrible party," Seifer said in looking about at the lightly chattering mass.

"Don't say that too loud man," Zell hissed, glancing apprehensively to where Selphie was talking with friends. Looking away he lazily took a plastic cup and filled it with the red punch from the bowl before him.

"Well it-" Seifer cut himself off as he noticed Squall set his cup at the opposite end of the table before continuing to listen in on an extravagant story from Irvine. Seifer smirked "Can you hand me that?"

Zell quirked an eyebrow as he followed the other blonde's eyes to where Squall's cup sat. Shrugging the male reached forward and quietly drug the cup backwards, handing it to Seifer.

"Mmm hmm," Seifer took the cup in one hand and with the other searched his coat pockets, quickly coming out with a silver flask.

"Hey," Zell inspected the flask as Seifer pulled off the top "That's not, like, the date-rape drug or anything is it?"

Seifer looked up after pouring a bit of the liquid in "No, you have any?"

Zell went back to lazily resting his head on the table "No, ask Irvine."

"Put this back," Seifer handed the cup to Zell who slipped it back and just in time. Squall took the cup into his hands only seconds later.

~^~^~^~

"What was in that!" Zell demanded under his breath, watching Squall in awe as the young man began to laugh hysterically at Irvine's stories.

Seifer was suppressing a laugh "Just a little alcohol. I knew it, the guy's a lightweight."

"Man," Zell continued staring but held up his own cup towards Seifer.

"That went better than planned," Seifer poured a bit of the flask contents into Zell's cup and returned to watching Squall who was now sitting on the floor giggling and getting quite a few confused looks.

"Where'd he get boes!" Irvine demanded with a jealous tone, fingers tapping at the edge of his hat.

"Surely he didn't get it from here-I mean-" Rinoa looked about confused.

"Whadya' mean?" Squall laughed from the floor "I didn't drink anything. Nofink'...I don't remem-...oof," the intoxicated brunnete slid completely to the ground, head know resting upon the carpeting.

"So this is what he looks like wasted," Zell peeked over the table top for a better view as Seifer made his way to join the crowd surrounding the young man on the floor.

"I-" Squall raised his hands to cover his face but only managed to smack himself upside the head "-I don't feel so goo-" as if on cue he switched to his side and vomited...just on Rinoa's shoes...

"Oh-ew!" Rinoa backed away stomping her feet and the crowd moved back a bit as well.

"Hoo-kay!" Selphie looked to the people in the semi-circle around Squall "Party's over!"

Seifer covered his mouth in a grin and Ellone looked to her brother on the ground "Oh my, I'm not sure-" he more than likely needed a bed to sleep in and there wasn't a free one unless she gave up that sleeping arrangement offer earlier. She loved her brother with all her heart but didn't want to spend another night on the pull-out of torture.

"He can sleep it off at my house," Seifer moved sideways through the crowd and came to a stop behind Squall.

"Are you sure-I mean-" Ellone was feeling slightly guilty.

"No problem," the blonde tried to hide the smirk on his face as he prodded Squall onto his back and then scooped him up in his arms. The crowd parted like the Red Sea as Seifer moved across the room and towards the door.

"Thank you," Rinoa said half-heartedly, trying to mop her shoes clean with a two-ply paper towel.

"Where-eryou t-" Squall stopped talking as though he had forgotten what he was saying.

"You really are a lightweight," Seifer pushed the door closed behind him and started down the hallway. Squall didn't say much until Seifer had unlocked the door where the brunette promptly vomited again in the doorway "Aw," Seifer cursed under his breath and looked remorsefully towards his carpet "How much can you-" the blonde paused, not wanting to allow Squall to repeat what he had just done and quickly hurried the male across his room and into the bathroom...and just in time...

"Whew," Seifer pulled up the toliet seat and ushered Squall next to it for further regurgitation.

~^~^~^~

"Owwww," Squall opened his eyes slowly, holding his head with one hand. It felt as though someone had stuck his head into a vice. Squall looked around. Where was he? This wasn't his dorm and he didn't remember much about last night. He did remember a bathroom though. Sure enough Squall spied an open door across from the bed. Bed? Squall looked down. Who's bed was this? It was considerably smaller than his own and the mattress a bit tougher. Squall would have gone more into thought if not for a second hard pang at his temple "Owwww," he repeated and closed his eyes tight.

"Awake?"

His eyes opened immediately and he tilted his head tot he side to find Seifer pulling his torso off the side of the bed and sitting up. He had obviously fallen asleep in the kitchen chair at the bedside and fallen over the mattress sometime during the night. So this was Seifer's apartment "Yeah, uh-" he slowed his words so that it didn't hurt his head as much when he spoke "what happened last night?"

"You drank," Seifer said a bit amused "you don't drink much do you?"

Squall looked confused "No."

"Figures, that must have been too strong,"

"But I don't remember-"

"You wouldn't" Seifer looked to the ceiling in mock innocence,

"You didn't-"

"Yep."

"Gee, thanks," Squall threw an arm over his face and attempted to go back to sleep. His head was killing him.

A/N - That one went out to Alexiel. Happy? Anyway, I'm continuing it from here in the next chapter. Hope this chapter wasn't that bad -.-. Sure felt like it.


	6. Embracing the Dark Secret

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: Since FF.net is down ., I guess I'm starting on chapter 6 immediately. Can you tell how bored I am.... also hungry...only found a Lean Cuisine dinner in the fridge today and nothing to drink but water. So if the wording is odd blame it on that.

Seifer's dorm was not quite SeeD standards and reminded Squall of his own student dorm days. A small bed, ratty chair in the main room in front of a television, and a small, hotel-sized fridge with a microwave sitting on top of it. Given of course Squall's dorm had been a bit more orderly though now he could care less. He had spent the entire morning in bed trying to get down a glass of orange juice Seifer had brought him that morning. He ended up vomiting once more that morning and more teasing from the blonde ensued. Now it was around noon.

"Think you can get down lunch?" Squall opened his eyes to find the blonde at his bedside.

"Mmm," he was hungry but afraid of throwing it up again. He had never had a hangover before and he wasn't enjoying this first experience either "I can try, what is there?"

Seifer looked over his shoulder as though he could see the contents of the mini fridge from there "Chicken flavored Ramen okay?"

Squall groaned.

"Hey, I didn't insult your cooking," Seifer frowned and crossed his arms in an annoyed manner.

"It's fine," the brunnete sighed and moments after Seifer had stepped away, tried to stand. Slowly and quite wobbly he made his way to the larger room and sank down in the ratty chair. From here he could see Seifer taking two packets from above a clutter of towels in the closet. Squall looked away from Seifer and towards the television. He could hear yelling which signified a talk show playing but the screen was only a single white line across the middle "Hey, Seifer-"

"Huh?" Seifer had just filled one bowl with water and was emptying the flavor packet over the noodles when he looked over his shoulder to find Squall in the chair. He caught sight of the television "Oh," casually he took a step, reached out, and banged his fist down on top of the television. Immediately the picture expanded and a man in lingerie and his wife appeared, arguing on the screen.

It wasn't long after the man began leaping and frolicking through the audience that Seifer's voice caught his attention "Hot!" the blonde was juggling a hot bowl which he quickly placed atop the television before retreating to the bedroom. Soon he returned with a blue sham which he threw to Squall "Use this," he said blowing a bit at his fingertips before taking the bowl from the television top and putting it on the pillow.

Squall began eating slowly and was getting into the talk show playing before him when Seifer returned with his own bowl and took a seat on the floor beside the chair "Keeping that down okay?" he asked settling his own bowl so that it wouldn't burn him.

Squall slurped a noodle without noticing "Yeah," he wished Seifer hadn't mentioned that. He was trying to forget about how sick he felt.

To his relief, the rest of the meal was finished out in silence. They watched the talk show, amused by the literal dregs of the earth this program had managed to find. When Squall finally finished the noodles he put the pillow aside and stood from the chair. No sooner had he stood then the throbbing in his head worsened and he swayed at the sudden pain.

Seifer, who had finished his own lunch ages ago was on his feet quickly "Watch it," he warned, catching the brunette by the shoulders and lowering him back into the chair "Here," he took the bowl from Squall and gathering his own crossed the room where he threw both, carelessly, into the sink "You really shouldn't drink," Seifer with a half smile said looking him over.

"I didn't mean to!" Squall snapped, throwing an arm over his face. He hadn't meant to yell but had and Seifer was none too pleased.

"Relax a won't you?"

Squall pulled his arm back down and stood once more, making his way slowly to the bathroom, holding walls for support.

"Don't tell me you're going to-"

"No," Squall said just as angrily "I'm going to get this bad taste out of my mouth. Do you have an extra toothbrush?"

"Try under the sink," Seifer said, glancing in distaste at a daytime soap opera now beginning. Sure that there was nothing else to watch he pressed the off button.

Squall in the meantime was seated on the floor, shifting through the mass under the sink. Weapon magazines, cleaner, baby oil, shampoo, soap, CDs...CDs...? Seifer needed to organize. Finally he found an unopened toothbrush near the bottom. Standing he took toothpaste from beside a second toothbrush and opened the toothbrush box.

Seifer appeared in the mirror behind him, glancing down at the items scattered on the floor "Thanks for that," he disappeared for a moment then unintentionally gave Squall a start when he reappeared from the floor with a bottle "Come on," he said simply.

"Where?" Squall spat into the sink and rinsed out his mouth, another pang in his temple telling him he needed to sit down.

"The bed,"

Squall's eyes widened "I-I'm in no shape to go to-"

"Not for that," Seifer took Squall's elbow and began to lead him toward the bed.

Squall tried to think over what he could possibly have in mind and then smiled in amused realization "I get a massage don't I. I didn't know Seifer Almasy gave messages."

"I don't," Seifer frowned slightly embarrassed by the concept as Squall sat on the end of the bed "Look, just take off your shirt and shut up."

"Oh, aren't we romantic?" Squall said sarcastically though still smiling, something rare for him "No thanks."

"Look," Seifer sighed "You're heads 'killing you' isn't it? You can't tell me a massage isn't what you want right now...I don't do this often and I don't plan to make a habit of it so just admit it..."

Squall, who had been standing again nodded "Okay, you're right," slowly, so as not to provoke another surge of pain, Squall removed his shirt and then looked back to Seifer. The blonde's mind was clearly not on that massage at the moment. Squall blushed furiously "Seifer!" he hissed, facing his back to him "don't stare at me like that," Squall said under his breath, though it was still meant to be plainly heard.

"-Oh," Seifer shook his head "Sorry," Seifer sat on the bed and waited for Squall to do the same. After a few hesitative moments the smaller man sat at the edge of the bed "I think you can lye down Squall."

"Oh," Squall blushed again and stretched horizontally out across the bed, folding his arms under his chin. He watched the wall, still slightly on edge. It took him offgaurd when something cold touched his skin, something he soon identified as the baby oil from the recesses of the sink cabinet. Soon after this he felt a pair of hands touched between his shoulder blades and then-"Ah," Squall let his eyes drift from the wall and shut, any tension he had felt before about relaxing on the bed gone and the effects of hangover ebbing away.

At what Squall guessed was about a half hour later, he found himself drifting in and out of consciousness and truly thankful that Seifer had offered to do this. It was surprising that he would do something like this even after-oh yeah. Squall came to full consciousness and again opened his eyes "I'm sorry about the night before last,"

"Hmm, oh," Seifer's voice seemed to be taken offgaurd by the sudden speech "I think we're about even," he said and Squall could just picture a smirk on his face.

"Almost?" he repeated thoughtfully.

"Mmm hmm, you still have to make it up to me." Seifer stopped rubbing Squall's back at that point and slowly the brunette straightened.

"What did you have in mind?" Squall asked a bit nervously though he couldn't hide a slight smile.

Seifer didn't answer. Instead he simply returned the smile and stood from the bed. Bending over he picked up Squall's shirt and reluctantly offered it to him.

"No," Squall motioned him to hang onto it for the moment "I think I'm going to take a shower."

Seifer quirked a brow and Squall gave him a playful, warning look "A shower alone."

~^~^~^~

Squall removed unbuttoned his pants absently. Surely he wasn't in love but it was clear to him that he could easily fall for the blonde in the next room. Before now Squall hadn't thought it was likely that he could love another man...but now...Squall folded his pants carefully and placed them on the toilet seat. Holding back the curtain he swiveled the knob for hot water and waited until hot water was coming out of the faucet before pulling up the stopper and stepping into the shower spray.

He let the water rush over him at first, ignoring the clouds of steam that were forming from the hot water an cherishing the warmth. He stood like this for several moments before hearing the bathroom door open "I told you I was taking a shower alone," Squall pulled the curtain tight.

"I didn't come in here for that, you forgot a towel," there was pause "...of course...now that you mention it."

"Don't-" Squall grabbed the curtain just as Seifer pretended to start and pull it back Squall felt his cheeks grow hotter than the water as Seifer watched the drenched face sticking out of the curtain. Squall didn't object when the blonde but his hand under damp chin and tilted it so that he could kiss his lips. Squall felt his grip on the curtain slipping as he leaned further into the kiss. At last he had let go completely and had to think a moment on the reason as to why Seifer had stopped kissing him. Then he realized it. "Oh," Squall tried to cover himself up, blushing worse than ever. 

"Why are you embarrassed?"

Squall opened his eyes to again find Seifer only inches away from his own face. Squall tried to look away.

"You're beautiful," Seifer said with another characteristic smirk, leaning in for a second kiss.

Squall lowered his hands, raising them so that they could rest on Seifer's shoulders Squall's head tipped to the side as the lips at his own lowered themselves down his neck and then to his shoulder. Eyes closed Squall didn't posses a negative thought when Seifer asked "May I come in?" Squall only nodded, moving back against the wall of the shower as Seifer stepped in beside him.

Squall's eyes opened and he smiled "You're still dressed," he said looking over the black shirt and jeans.

"Not for long," Seifer teased, returning the smile as the red returned to Squall's face. He pulled the curtain shut and pulled Squall in front of him as he moved to the front of the shower "I love you," the blonde whispered before again starting at Squall's lips.

"Mmm," Squall leaned in as he felt Seifer's tongue at his own. Squall lowered his hands to Seifer's waist and allowed his fingers to slip under the tight black shirt and against the skin. Slowly he worked the fabric up, leaning his head back to breath as he eased the shirt over Seifer's head and dropped it to the floor of the shower "Seifer," he sighed, resting his hands on the blonde's arms and kissing away the drops of water forming under the faucet spray at Seifer's chest.

Seifer moved the brunette backwards and pinned him against the back of the shower so that he was at the taller man's level. One hand against the shower wall he put his mouth at Squall's neck and pressed his hips close against his.

"Oh," a surge of pleasure rushed through Squall and again he arched his neck.

Seifer smiled and pulled back a bit, raising his lips to be level with Squall's ear "I think we're even," he whispered.

"No," Squall said without thinking, lowering his hands "I don't want to be even, not yet."

It was Seifer who was suprised this time. Squall was working at the fastenings of his pants, fumbling at the work in his haste. Quickly enough Squall had succeeded.. It was Seifer who closed his eyes for what came next.

KNOCK KNOCK!

Both of the males gave a start at the sudden sound. Seifer pulled back in surprise and Squall dropped to the shower floor from where he had been pinned.

"Agh!" Seifer cursed under his breath and quickly pulled his own pants up, which were significantly tighter than they had been only minutes before. Rushing he tore out the door and across the room then flung open the door angrily. "What!" he demanded but a second later whished he hadn't yelled. Rinoa and Ellone stood taken aback before him "Oh, sorry."

"Where's Squall?" Rinoa asked looking around Seifer in hopes of a glimpse of her boyfriend.

"Ah, taking a shower," Seifer said. The water was indeed still running though he had a sneaking suspicion that Squall had started running cold water for obvious reasons.

"Oh, why are you so wet?" Rinoa asked eyeing his soaked jeans.

"I-" Seifer glanced nervously at Ellone who was also staring at the jeans but in an entirely different area. Did she know? "I took a shower before him, I guess I'm still kinda wet."

"Okay," Rinoa looked at Ellone. "Well we were just coming to check up on Squall. Send him back over when he's out okay?"

"Sure," Seifer nodded to Rinoa who was shifting to leave and then to Ellone who lingered a little longer "I'll send him over," he repeated to the unmoving female. Hesitantly she moved away with Rinoa.

When he was sure they were on their way to their own dorm, Seifer closed the door and hurried back across the room. Seifer appeared from the bathroom wearing pants again "What happened?" he demanded. Obviously Squall had recognized the voice.

"Squall," Seifer began slowly "I think your sister knows."

"God," Squall closed his eyes and put his hand against his forehead.

Seifer frowned "Is it that embarrassing?" he asked "Can't you just tell them the truth now."

"It's not that I-I mean," Squall lowered his hand and his eyes widened apologetically "It's not that I'm embarrassed-ah-I mean, I just can't. Not yet."

"You are embarrassed," Seifer corrected angrily "What would the Garden think if they found out not only is their star SeeD gay but also seeing Seifer Almasy, the traitor!"

"Seifer!" Squall didn't know how to apologize. Wrapping his arms around Seifer he rested his head on his chest "Please, not another fight. I don't want to fight with you again."

Seifer sighed and pulled Squall back "I'm not going to start another fight...but I want you out..."

Squall tried to hide the fact that his eyes had teared up. "Okay," standing on tip toe he placed a quick kiss upon Seifer's lips and started towards the door "I-I'll see you tomorrow," with that he gathered his shirt and jacket and rushed from the dorm.

~^~^~^~

It was several hours later but Seifer had hardly moved. He was currently lying on his side upon the bed. "What are you doing?" he asked himself, furious he was showing an old repressed emotion. Seifer felt his breath catch and swallowed hard to prevent himself from doing anything more. Closing his eyes he attempted to sleep.

KNOCK KNOCK

Again? Seifer stood and crossed the room to answer the door. He was half hoping to see Squall but instead-

"May I come in?"

It was Ellone "Sure," he said stepping aside and allowing Ellone to enter before he closed the door completely "What is it?" he had never been and was definitely no in the mood now, to be a good host.

Ellone took a deep breath "I want to talk to you," she said simply.

"About what?" Seifer's voice sounded a bit lazy. He really didn't want this new visitor.

"What are you doing with my brother!" the tone in Ellone's voice made Seifer jump. The woman had faced Seifer, her face almost even with his, and her eyes narrowed.

Seifer stood there a moment but quickly enough words found him "Why don't you ask him because I have no idea!" Seifer returned the stern look and began to walk back to his bedroom. She could let herself out.

Ellone's expression softened slightly "You're not taking advantage of him are you?" she had to make sure.

"Hell, no," Seifer snapped angrily, stopping in the door frame and looking back.

"So he just isn't talking about you," she walked after him a few steps when Seifer didn't answer. Taking the last moment of silence as a yes she continued "But you-you're having-ah-"

"Sex?" Seifer asked. His expression hadn't changed and Ellone blushed as her brother might at the mention of the word "No, not yet."

"But you are-"

Seifer took a few steps to meet her "Do I love him? Yes! Does he love me? No! Does he lead me on anyway? Yes! Does he plan on ever telling anyone? No!"

Ellone stood a tad shocked at the outburst and then nodded "I see," she lowered her eyes slightly "I'm sorry for amusing that you-well you know. I guess I just feared the worse."

Seifer eyed her suspiciously. "It doesn't bother you then?"

The woman paused once more "I guess it caught me off guard...and I can't say I ever expected this but..." she looked up towards Seifer "I respect my brother's decisions...though I'm not particularly proud of how he's dealing with you..."

Seifer looked away this time, afraid he would do something he would regret.

Ellone obviously noticed and nodded farewell "Good luck Seifer. I won't say anything about this to Squall," Ellone opened the door and then as an afterthought added "he needs to think this over on his own."

The door closed and Seifer was again alone. His breath caught again "Shit," he muttered, raising a hand to his eyes and shaking his head "No," repressing the emotion yet again he made his way back to his bed.

A/N: I think I need to up the rating. o.o. Believe I will. I hope this chapter isn't as odd as I thought it was either. By the way, if you thought Seifer's home sounded horribly shabby I based it on where I live ^-^;. No making fun of it now, thank you. Well mores coming soon as well as those promised character death(s). - sorry, had to put a teaser in for Alexiel -. Please keep reviewing.


	7. Kiss and a Blade

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I forgot to thank Akai - chan in the last chapter. She helped me get most of that chapter out so fast. ::Hugs:: Akai-chan. Thank you! Anyway, I'm deciding to get started on this at about one in the morning. I'm a night-owl what can I say? If you could see what I look like when I writing most of these things you would back away. ::Selphie takes cue to use her video camera capturing a slightly tall teenage girl, sitting in a computer chair with only one arm and a tilting back that comes off at a whim now. She's wear mismatched pajamas, a redish-pink shirt and blue boxers with kitties and fishbowls on them. She's propped up in the an indescribable position, balancing a vase-shaped beer glass filled with diet Sunkist between her thighs and thumping out a random song from DDR on her rib cage.:: The hell-::Looks up after tapping her ribs a bit too hard and glares at Selphie who's oddly enough only in her mind o.o:: Well, ::cough:: onto the fic.

So many dead and he hadn't seen a single body. Squall finished polishing his gunblade and leaned over, opening the box and placing it carefully inside. It wasn't that he wanted to see a body. Quite the opposite in fact. He did however think that knowing how the attacker killed might help their pursuit. Squall sighed and leaned forward, glancing into the bedroom.

Ellone and Rinoa were fast asleep in the bed, Squall having relinquished his sleeping space long ago. They had been asleep when he had come home anyway. The brunette had spent the entire day in a briefing, an extremely drawn out briefing. The attacks had gotten worse and Cid was seriously considering sending all of the students home. Unfortunately it seemed that most students and parents alike thought this as a sort of test and refused to accept the return of their children lightly. Most younger students had been sent home but the fact remained that at least of the a third of the students had stayed behind.

Now Cid was calling in action. SeeDs were to patrol the halls at all hours and Squall just happened to be assigned the 10-1 shift. Remembering this, Squall tilted forward a bit more then stood to see the clock on the nightstand. 9:51! Squall had made a point to go see Seifer some time before he was scheduled for his rounds. He had promised to see him today after their last encounter. With the surprise meeting he hadn't had a chance. Hastily Squall opened the gunblade box once more and lifted it in his hands as he hurried out the door.

~^~^~^~

"Seifer," Squall breathed a sigh of relief as the blonde finally opened the door. He had been knocking for a while now and was slightly nervous that he wouldn't receive an answer at all.

Seifer now stood in the doorway, clothes wrinkled and looking as though he had opted to go to bed early. He seemed a bit surprised by Squall's sudden presence and moved to the side to allow him to enter.

"Thanks," Squall felt himself growing nervous, recalling what had been said last time they were together in this dorm "Sorry I didn't come over sooner, I was in a meeting all day. I have to leave in a few minutes."

Seifer's eyes traveled down to the gunblade in his hand "Monster hunting huh?"

Squall nodded "It was going to happen sooner or later." Squall carefully propped the gunblade against the chair.

Seifer didn't look too pleased with this confirmation. He was too busy remembering his own encounter with the "attacker". "Do you know what it is?"

"No, but Headmaster-"

"Then how does he expect you to get rid of it!" Seifer snapped causing Squall to jump. Seifer forced a smile "-er, I guess what I'm trying to say is, watch your ass out there."

Squall stifled a laugh "Thanks for the sentiment," he leaned forward, testing his boundaries to see if Seifer wasn't so angry with him that he wouldn't give him a hug. Squall was pleased to find a return of his own embrace and added "I think I'll be fine. Anything with half a brain wouldn't show and even if it did chances are that a group of SeeDs can handle it."

The forced smile became a bit nervous though Squall couldn't see his face right now. Seifer pulled the young man closer and rested his chin on his head "Cocky aren't we? Look, just because there hasn't been a big threat since Ul-...you know...That doesn't mean that a knew threat couldn't come along."

Squall paused a moment, listening to what Seifer said. He couldn't help but enjoy the fact that Seifer was concerned about him. It was just something nice to hear...though the pleasure might be a bit sadistic...Squall moved away at last but kept his arms around Seifer "I think I've got to go," he said, eyes scanning for a clock. He was sure that a good many of the SeeDs from his group were already in the hallways.

Seifer pulled away and walked to the chair where the gunblade was propped. "Fine," he said a bit reluctantly, sitting down in the chair.

Sqaull smiled once more, comparing Seifer with a pouting child. "If you'll let me-" Squall moved his gunblade to balance against one hand and sat upon the chair arm "I'll come back here when I'm finished."

"Why would you do that?"

Squall blinked a bit startled by the response "I-ah-"

Seifer smiled as his reaction and pulled the brunette into his lap, bending in for a kiss.

Squall laughed out loud at the gesture, the first time Seifer had heard him do so. Tilting his head back on the opposite chair arm Squall finally caught site of the clock. 10:06. Shit! "I've got to go!" Squall sat up with a start, struggling awkwardly to get to the floor and at last tripping onto the ground. Standing and grabbing his gunblade he looked back to Seifer who was watching the entire scenario with a slightly amused expression. "Bye," Squall leaned over and after giving Seifer a goodbye kiss left in a rush.

~^~^~^~

Seifer changed the channel by hand. He was nervous and there was nothing on television to take his mind off it. Settling on a late night movie he leaned back in the chair. You shouldn't be so worried, he thought to himself. Of course this didn't ease his tension. He had a bad feeling about this that didn't seem to quell.

Letting out an annoyed groan he propped his head up with one hand and then immediately shifted positions a few times. With a second groan he tilted his head and glanced at the clock in the next room.11:32. When was Squall supposed to get back here anyway. He shifted positions again and looked back to the television then again to the clock. "Agh, that's it," standing he switched off the television and took his coat from the back of the chair. Slipping it on he left the dorm.

~^~^~^~

"How many SeeDs did the Headmaster call in?" Squall asked the blonde walking at his side. They were in quite the large group of SeeDs. At least twenty males and females were walking before them. What baffled Squall was that this wasn't even the entire group. There were at least two other groups patrolling the halls at this moment.

"I think he called just about all of em' who weren't busy," Zell looked over the crowd. The number of SeeDs had truly increased after the battle with the sorceress. There was moment of silence between them until Zell couldn't take it anymore "This is boring."

Squall didn't answer. Inwardly he agreed but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Selphie warned me," Zell was used to not always receiving responses from Squall in conversation "She had a shift earlier, said nothing happened. Just walked around for three hours."

"Well-" Squall was cut off by several shouts up ahead. Tensing he drew his gunblade at ready and watched as SeeDs flooded forward. Seeing the young martial artist beside him go charging he made a grab for his shoulder "Wait!" he caught the black of the blue uniform just in time. The surge of SeeDs was beginning to draw back and as the crowd cleared off a bit it was clear that around four of the graduates had dropped to the ground.

Squall strained his eyes to see what had happened. Was that the attacker? He asked himself seeing a dark form pass through the bodies. Squall tightened his grip on his weapon. There were no features on the form, it was simply mass of darkness. As it caught up with two more of the SeeDs Squall noticed that it would momentarily take the form of its victim before...Squall swallowed...

The form had caused another four to fall. Squall looked to Zell. He seemed to be looking somewhere besides the creature but unable to move.

Squall followed his eyes and saw a young SeeD who had the flustered, terrified look of a youth who had just graduated. He had drawn away to press himself against a wall, hands shaking and breathing heavily at the approach of the dark thing before him. Upon closer inspection Sqaull realized what Zell clearly had, his hands weren't shaking, they were pulling out a spell drawn earlier. One that looked suspiciously like-"Not in the hallway!" Squall yelled as loud as he could, rushing forward in hopes of stopping the boy.

It was too late, the force of Ultima filled the hallways, the narrowness of where they stood causing the spell to grow outwards. Squall watched the people thrown backwards by the blast and within moments it hit him as well. The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his arms in an attempt to shield himself but he was tossed into the air with ease and in several drawn out seconds he landed on something sharp.

~^~^~^~

This was ridiculous. Seifer stopped at the side of one wall. Leaning against the wall he glanced about for a clock. He hadn't been out long but he was already beginning to feel like an idiot. Squall was right. Anything with half a brain wouldn't be in the halls with all of these SeeDs patrolling...which made him question why he was out here...Just go back to your room, Seifer told himself. It seemed the only wise thing to do.

He was about to follow his own advice when a large sound similar to an explosion filled the hallways. Seifer didn't think twice before racing towards the noise. He hurried through the dorm halls, through the circular walkway and down the library hallway where he saw-What had happened? Seifer tensed as he looked around. More SeeDs than he could count lined the hallway. A majority of them seemed fairly unharmed though unconscious and sporting quite a few large red welts that would soon become bruises. The ones who hadn't been so lucky looked as though they had been thrown back against the walls by force, some had even been struck by lost weapons. Seifer felt a bit nauseous. It was obvious that there had been an explosion and with SeeDs, the majority of which were armed with something sharp, made that a dangerous situation. The blonde noted this as he tried to keep his eyes away from a young female who's eyes were open and vacant, the steely hilt of a throwing knife protruding from her throat.

Seifer felt a rush of panic as he realized what he had come all the way out here for. Quickly he scanned the crowd. Please don't let me find Squall. It took only moments for his eyes to fall upon a familiar face. The blonde hurried, stepping over bodies and coming to an abrupt stop before a figure crumpled against the wall "Zell!" he demanded, lifting up the martial artist's head.

Almost immediately the young man before him let out a slight groan but didn't stir. He was fine, just out like a light "Zell!" he demanded again, relieved he hadn't stumbled upon another corpse "Where's Squa-" Seifer was stopped as he caught something at the corner of his eye, not too far away he spotted Squall's gunblade and right beside it was- Seifer felt a lack of words as he released the tattooed man beside him and stood. Heart racing he approached Squall and looked him over.

The brunette was lying on his side, one arm outstretched in the direction of his gunblade, the other resting at the blood stained area near his stomach from which the tip of a katana extended. The katana clearly belonged to the unconscious young man behind him but Seifer could care less of details at this point. Dropping to his knees he reached forward, desperate to find a pulse. However, he never got close enough to tell.

He reeled to the side as a well aimed kick sent him to the ground. Dazed for a moment he opened his eyes to see a group of angry SeeDs. They must have been from one of the other groups. He didn't have time to deal with this now, Squall- Wincing slightly he attempted to sit up, only to be met with a second kick.

"I knew you were to blame!" the man above him shouted and several others growled their agreement.

They think I-Seifer couldn't bare to finish that thought and found himself at a lack of breath as the man pulled him up and into a somewhat-sitting position. He would have struggled but a feeling of light-headedness prevented him from doing much, instead his eyes fell upon Squall. A female SeeD was currently running her hands over the katana as though playing with the idea of pulling it out. Seifer wanted to say something, anything. He opened his mouth to speak but the connection of the butt of a rifle to his head made sure that he was just as audible as any other wounded SeeD.

A/N: Whew, that's another chapter. I'll start working on the next one soon. Er, this one might not be the best...I find myself apologizing for chapters often don't I..... Anyway ^-^;. I hope it was decent...oh, and to Alexiel...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-that's all I have to say.


	8. Living With Shame

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: Hehe, it seems Redrum hit the nail on the head. Yes, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time...but SeeDs can vouch for him so it isn't a huge deal ^-^; (why doesn't that ever happen to me. I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time constantly)...Congrats though, you get a cookie!...If I had any cookies...I have frozen dinners...they're all healthy though...how about a piece of bread? All right, onto the fic, please keep reviewing.

If she began preaching one more time, Seifer was going to get his Hyperion and slice her in half! Rinoa hadn't stopped talking since he had gotten to the infirmary. She seemed to think that talking to Squall would make him wake up. If Seifer was in his position he would keep the unconscious thing going.

Rinoa began talking again but instead of killing her Seifer just groaned and slid down in the tough chair below him. He had been in a holding cell since yesterday when one of the SeeDs finally came to and set the Headmaster straight. They were forced, though reluctantly to let Seifer go. That of course didn't do much for his reputation. By now most of the school was sure that one way or the other it had been him. Seifer shook his head. It didn't matter, at least Squall was alive.

Seifer raised his eyes level with the hospital bed in front of him. He hadn't woken up yet but Dr. Kadowaki assured them that it was only because of...the pain medication...or something. Seifer hadn't heard it that well, Rinoa wouldn't shut her mouth. He glared at Rinoa then looked back to Squall. The katana hadn't hit any vital organs and besides a bump on the head there was not much wrong with him. Seifer straightened and looked to his left. It seemed as though Zell and Selphie were about to go home. Zell had been one of the first to regain consciousness and one of the SeeDs who had cleared Seifer.

"C'mon," Selphie stood from the chair she had dragged over and took Zell by the hand as she urged him to his feet.

Zell looked to the rest of the group and stood. He had made it away from the now infamous ordeal with only a few nasty bruises. Compared to most of the others he was lucky "Fine," he took Selphies hand and shrugged apologetically. It was getting late and Irvine and Selphie had long since left. That just left-oh.

Seifer watched the two leave with remorse. He didn't want to be alone with Rinoa! He lowered himself further down in the chair. Why couldn't Squall just wake up already? Any other SeeDs who could had...and their guests had long since left the infirmary...

"Are you staying tonight?"

Seifer, straightened and looked behind his seat to find Ellone approaching them. He breathed a sigh of relief but waited for Rinoa to answer first. He didn't want to prompt her into saying "yes".

"No," Rinoa sighed "I think I'll be leaving now," she stood, though cast a quizzical look at the blonde behind her who had just muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a cheer of victory. 

Ellone nodded "I might stay here just a little longer," smiling sweetly to the dark haired female nearing the door she sat in the opposite seat and-

"Not now," Seifer lowered in his seat for a third time and came dangerously close to sliding onto the floor. It figured, now of all moments to regain consciousness, Squall was choosing the moment when Rinoa was finally leaving.

Inevitably Rinoa rushed back to the bedside "Squall," Rinoa leaned over the moaning Squall.

"Will you give him some air," Seifer snapped, leaning forward onto his knees.

It seemed that as soon as Squall's eyes opened Dr. Kadowaki was there with a clipboard, eyes fixed on her patient. She was desperate to have another bed free. The patients were pouring in these days "Squall?" she asked in an emotionless voice. Squall said nothing, he looked quite disoriented. He did however move his head to look at her. "Good enough, she checked something on her clipboard and then smiled "So Squall, are you ready to go home with Ms. Heartilly,"

It took a moment to register and when it did the brunette groaned and closed his eyes "No."

Rinoa gaped but Dr. Kadowaki simply smiled "It's the medication I mentioned earlier."

Seifer felt his lips twitch, he just might have to slip Squall this medication every day.

"Well you can't stay here," Rinoa said, her voice even though it sounded as though she was still a little hurt.

"You don't have enough room in your apartment to sleep three people," Seifer said simply, trying to look as if he really didn't care either way "Ah...I'm assuming..."

Ellone almost laughed but instead nodded and then looked to Rinoa "Is that an offer."

Seifer shrugged "There's a bed and a pull-out, there's enough room at my place," that was a straight out lie but Ellone was the only one who had a clue that his word wasn't truthful.

Dr. Kadowaki looked back to Squall before Rinoa could respond "So Squall, stay at Almasys'?"

Again Squall didn't answer for several moments but when the words registered he nodded.

"Well that settles it," Dr. Kadowaki hurried off.

"-But"

"He'll be fine," Ellone assured Rinoa who now seemed to be offended.

Dr. Kadowaki appeared back at the bedside as Seifer had just stood "Here," she handed the blonde a small medicine container "This is the pain medication. Give it to him if he needs it...ah...it might make him like he is now though. Hopefully that will wear away soon. There aren't many in there though," without pausing for a breath she continued "I'm out of wheel-chairs...surprise surprise...I'll have to talk to Cid about this matter. I suppose I could get a-"

"It's all right-" Seifer bent down to pick up the brunette. He was getting used to carrying him back to his own dorm by now.

Dr. Kadowaki looked as though she might object but didn't. Perhaps it was because she truly needed a free bed about now. A bit reluctantly she nodded and then stepped away to deal with other business.

Seifer ignored the continued complaints of Rinoa and continued to scoop the younger male into his arms. Squall moaned slightly, but kept his eyes closed, letting his head fall onto Seifer's chest.

~^~^~^~

"Mmm," Squall opened his eyes slowly. He knew he had been drifting in and out of consciousness for hours now but nothing had made any sense. Now he was finally beginning to take in things and the first thing he took in was where he was. He almost immediately recognized the dorm and bed as Seifer's. The second thing to come to him was the pain in his abdominan. Squall groaned, clenching his teeth and looked down. He was shirtless and for obvious reasons. Bandages were wrapped around his middle. Memories of the attack flooded into his mind "Seifer!"

"What!" the blonde sat up with a start, head hitting the nightstand "Ah," Seifer seethed and rubbed his head.

Squall, who was regretting shouting as the pain in his abdominan worsened looked to the male on the floor by the bed, who had obviously been sleeping "What happened to the rest of the SeeDs!"

Seifer stopped rubbing his head and looked to Squall "Six are dead, half in comas," he said honestly.

Squall swallowed and then desperately, "Zell!"

Seifer rose to his knees and put a hand at Squall's shoulder to prevent him from panicking "He's fine, better off then you as a matter of fact," Squall relaxed under his grip again and sank back down onto the bed.

Slowly he looked around until his eyes came back to Seifer "What happened to you?" he asked a bit alarmed. The blonde had one black eye, a bruise on his jaw bone, and a split lip that was just healing over.

Seifer smiled weakly "Wrong place at the wrong time."

"You were-I mean you came after the explosion didn't you," Squall spoke in a soft tone. He didn't want to make his diaphragm move much, it seemed to cause more pain "They blamed you?"

"Some SeeDs set them straight. They still have their suspicions that it's me though," Seifer gave an annoyed sigh and leaned against the mattress.

"I don't see how they could," Squall tilted his head to the side but kept his back u[on the bedding "It wasn't even human-it was-"

Seifer shook his head, cutting Squall off. He knew that if Squall went too deep into the story it would upset him "It's all right, I know what it looks like."

"Huh?" Squall gave Seifer a suprised look "What do you mean-you saw it before-"

"No," Seifer said coolly "I think I saw it while I was unconscious."

"What else did you see? Maybe-"

"Nothing that would help," Seifer folded his arms over the mattress and put his chin on his hands "I thought it was all a dream until I heard one of the SeeDs describing what they saw to Cid."

"Oh," Squall sounded slightly disappointed. He had been hoping for more information then that.

After a long pause Seifer sighed "Well if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep-" his head disappeared once more.

"Ah," Squall glanced over the side of the bed. Seifer had made a makeshift mattress on the floor composed of blankets and pillows "You can sleep with me if you want."

Seifer smiled and opened his eyes, looking up "As tempting as that sounds the bed's not big enough to sleep two...especially if one can't get off his back...Besides, this is kinda comfortable-better beside the bed than under it anyway."

Squall frowned "I said I was-"

"I know, I know," Seifer said quickly, chuckling and again closing his eyes.

~^~^~^~

Squall stayed at Seifer's for at least a week. This did of course mean daily visits from Rinoa...though excuses were often made which forced her to leave early...Squall wasn't in any mood to see her anyway.

By the next Monday Squall was almost completely healed...given of course he had sped things along with Cure spells...Finally the brunette was able to get around without too much pain. Currently Squall was sitting in the living room chair watching television and waiting for Seifer to wake up. It was still pretty early and there were no classes, at least scheduled until that menace the SeeDs had encountered earlier was taken care of. 

Nothing on. Squall moaned and flipped through channels lazily. He wished Seifer would wake up already. How much sleep did the guy really need? It was past noon and Squall had just had Ramen for two meals. He didn't want microwaved noodles for dinner as well. "Hmm," taking a random video cassette tape from beside the television, Squall tossed it lightly into the nearby bedroom. With a loud 'thud' the VHS hit its mark.

"Ah!" Seifer sat up lazily with an annoyed grunt. Looking at the time on the digital clock he lowered himself back down.

"Uh!" Squall frowned "Seifer!" he whined. The boredom was really getting to him.

Reluctantly the blonde stood "Fine, I'm up," sleepily he made his way into the living room, ritualistically taking a frozen dinner from the mini-fridge and popping it into the microwave.

"It's about time," Squall muttered, changing through channels once more,

"Rinoa make her rounds yet?" Seifer asked, talking the dinner from the microwave and pulling back the cellophane.

"No, I think she took Ellone out to the movies or something like that. Ellone mentioned something along those lines yesterday,"

"Good," Seifer grumbled, taking a seat beside the chair Squall was seated in "-hey I'm not watching a soap opera!"

Squall frowned but changed the channel to a daytime movie. He hadn't been paying attention to the television anyway. He had been thinking over how to tell Seifer about the phone call he had received earlier. Squall sat through a few minutes watching the program on television, waiting until Seifer was finished eating to speak "Ah, Cid called."

Seifer went to her knees and leaned forward to toss the tray into the trash can "Yeah?"

"Uh, yeah, it was about the patrolling,"

Seifer sat back again and looked at the male in the chair curiously "And-" he didn't like where this was going.

"Since I'm pretty much healed he wants me to join the other SeeDs tonight," Squall said this in a rush but Seifer seemed to have picked up each word.

"What!" the blonde rose to his feet "Don't they realize there's not a fucking thing you can do!"

"They don't want us to fight it!" Squall lifted his hands, attempting to calm him "They just want us to keep an eye out for the students who have yet to return home. You know, prevent more deaths. We're to get out of the area if we do see it."

Seifer calmed a bit though he still seemed a bit annoyed. Finally he nodded "Fine."

Squall was shocked. He had caved this easily? "Really?" he could help but ask.

Seifer smiled and nodded "Yep, if Cid wants you to go patrolling you have no choice. I'll just have to go with you."

~^~^~^~

"This isn't a good idea," Squall had tried to convince Seifer to stay home for the last few hours now. It seemed futile now that they were leaving the house "What if someone sees you?" he asked, stepping into the hallway, soon followed by Seifer and his Hyperion.

"You said yourself there is no group structure. With all the SeeDs injured it seemed wiser to have them split up," Seifer smirked, he had no intention of letting Squall go out alone tonight.

"Fine," Squall grumbled, beginning to walk.

Squall closed the door and quickly caught up with the blonde. Honestly he wasn't sure he was angry Seifer was coming along. Sure he didn't want him to get caught but he was really starting to enjoy his company. "Ah," Squall took a few quickened steps as he found himself falling behind Seifer's pace.

"How long are you on patrol?"

Squall looked up to face Seifer as they continued walking "Three hours tonight."

Seifer groaned "Great."

"If you want to go back you can."

"Nice try but not until you do."

Squall felt a slight smile forming but kept silent, lowering his head as he walked. He was glad Seifer hadn't taken his offer. He did enjoy his company, he had told himself that earlier, but was there something more? He had told Seifer that he needed to time to find out if he loved him or not. Did he? Would he even allow himself to fall in love with Seifer? Truth be told Squall was afraid that Seifer was right, deep down he was embarrassed. Squall tensed at the thought and grabbed Seifer's arm with both hands, clinging tight as though something had frightened him.

"Huh?" Seifer looked down. They were in the hall to the Training Center, no one was there "What's wrong?"

Squall didn't let go of his arm, in fact his grip only tightened. He didn't want to be embarrassed of Seifer! "I'm sorry," Squall let go of his arm only to embrace him completely.

"For what?" Seifer was slightly worried now. He awkwardly returned the hug as the brunette buried his face into his chest "Squall?" Slowly he pulled the shorter man back at arms length. He looked close to tears. Seifer was baffled "What is it?"

Squall shook his head, trying to calm himself "Nothing."

Seifer breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't something terribly serious but it was clearly not nothing. Seifer offered a smile and leaned in so that his face was inches from Squall's "You sure?"

"Yeah," he lied, moving his eyes away.

"All right," Seifer softly kissed Squall's lips and pulled back. He began to started to continue along the hallway but paused as he only heard one set of footsteps "Do you need to take a break?"

"Ah," Squall looked up, snapping out of his trance "I just need a minute," he said sinking against the wall.

Seifer shrugged and lowered himself beside Squall, knees up in front of him. There was a long moment of silence before Squall broke in.

"Seifer, why do you love me?"

Seifer looked calmly over to Squall "Does there need to be a reason? I'm not sure anyone can tell you why they love someone."

Squall looked ahead then tried a different approach "The when did you...think you loved me..."

Seifer laughed, surprising Squall "It's not something that just comes up one day," Seifer leaned back as though thinking of an answer "It just sorta happens over time...and there was a lot of time...hell we grew up together, came to the garden together. I guess there is that one day though where it hits you and you have that 'what the hell was I just fantasizing about!' moment."

Squall couldn't help but chuckle slightly "So when did that happen?"

"Well," Seifer leaned towards Squall and reached out a gloved hand toward his face "Not long before I gave you that," he said tracing the scar from Squall's forehead and across the bridge of his nose "I guess you could say I blamed it on you in some weird way...and...was just a little pissed."

Squall smiled reaching up to take Seifer's hand "Just a little?" he repeated in an amused fashion.

"Okay, very but hey, I'm sorry." Seifer returned the smile with an innocent shrug.

"No big deal," Squall leaned forward, resting his lips on Seifer's own scar before pulling away "I got you back."

"Guess you did," the blonde pulled Squall back towards him, meeting him in a kiss.

Squall released Seifer hand, wrapping his arms around the male and forcing him in closer without noticing.

Seifer was about to make the next move when a voice interrupted them "Hey guys!"

They both jumped in surprise, pulling away and looking towards the Training Center to find Zell bounding towards them.

"A group of SeeDs are headed this way. I don't care if you, ya know, just get a room! Geez!" Zell came to a stop beside Squall and Seifer. Both were hurrying to leave "What's Seifer doing out here anyway?"

"Trying not to get spotted chikenwuss, would you kindly go stall them while I try to get the hell outta here?"

Zell glared at Seifer "Will you stop calling me that?" they were almost on speaking terms after all.

Seifer shrugged, rushing alongside Squall towards the main hallway "Sorry, habit."

"Agh," Zell went off in the opposite direction "You owe me!" he hissed down the hallway. He couldn't expect Seifer to be too kind. Besides, the world might actually stop spinning if he never again heard the word "chickenwuss"

A/N: Well this is the last chapter you'll see for at least a week. ^-^; I'm going on vacation with Alexiel...in other words this will be the last chapter if I come back packed in a crate O.O...Pray for me. Anyway, I'm really thankful for all the reviews I'm getting. Lol, fine so there aren't that many but it seems the opposite to me. Now-to Florida! ::Wearing bathing suit top and shorts skips to the car with Squall and Seifer.::

Squall: Is there a pool where we're staying.

Shade: Yep, it's a condo! Living in style...with eleven other very loud people...

Seifer: I don't have a bathing suit-

Shade: Don't need one, you two are going skinny-dippin' ::S&S try to dive out but Shade locks the doors, waving goodbye to her readers.::


	9. What I Shouldn't See

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I'm back! Vacation was a bit boring. Nothing but sitting around watching television, riding bikes at night, and hanging around Barnes and Nobels during the daytime, reading mangas and drinking frapanchino. There was that day when Alexiel and I met up in Panama City. Hehe, we went on the human slingshot, fun. If you've never been to Panama City they're all over the place. The one we went on was rumored to be the largest, two 388 ft towers. Heh, they strap you in with another person (Alexiel and myself) and then flip you on your back and let a rip. ^-^; 488ft into the air, back down face first, snapped back up, and then flipped at over 100mp3. What a rush, I recommend it. Anyway, I missed writing.

::Seifer and Squall stumble from the back of the car and collapse.::

Okay, so the swimming pool was only five feet deep and very crowded...how was I supposed to know?...

Seifer leaned against the door, pushing it open with his shoulder, and collapseing into the nearby chair "I may never walk again, I swear those SeeDs have eyes in the back of their heads."

Squall smiled, entering and closing the door behind him. The last hour of patrol had been spent hurrying away from approaching SeeDs, many of which had tendencies to spastically glance over their shoulders causing several instances where Seifer was forced to jump down stairs, hop over banisters, or simply flat out sprint down a nearby hallway.

Carefully Squall leaned his gunblade alongside Seifer's Hyperion "Thanks," he said coming to a stop in front of Seifer, causing the blonde to look up a bit lazily.

"Oh, no problem...I didn't really need my lower body anyway..." he grumbled, glancing towards the digital clock.

Squall wasn't concerned with what time it was. He wasn't tired in the least. If anything the earlier patrol had assured little sleep. He still had the adrenaline rushing through his veins and it was showing no sign of slowing down. Looking away from Seifer, Squall amused himself by looking over the dorm. It wasn't as though he had never seen it before. He had spent a good while here by now. However he had never truly had time to look at it. He had always been either...well...a bit out of it when he had tried to let his surroundings sink in "You're dorm really does-ah-"

Seifer opened one eye from where he was leaning back and then stood "Shut up, I know how bad it is," stretching out, he removed his jacket first and then shirt, tossing both lazily over the back of the chair "I'm going to sleep."

"Okay," Squall muttered taking a step into the doorway of the bedroom and looking up upon a cluster of shelves.

Seifer didn't seem to care. He had already dropped down onto the floor, pulling the blankets over his head and disappearing into the pillows.

Squall looked over the cluttered surfaces. There wasn't much there, pocket change, more magazines, a few movies, and cds. Standing on tip-toe he was just able to peek onto the top shelf. Not much here either. Wadded up money, an CD player, and something that looked like a jewelry box though he suspected it wasn't. Curiosity and restlessness getting the best of him, Sqaull glanced over his shoulder to make sure Seifer was still sleeping. With nothing to stop him, Squall reached up and nudged the box toward him until it fell halfway off the surface and he was able to catch it. Moving the small wooden chest to the lower shelf he undid the silver clasp and swung it open.

The inside of the box was rougher than the outside, chipped and course to the touch. Careful not to scrape the sides he shuffled through the items. There were a few clip outs of magazines in here. Squall moved these aside to find a photo. He smiled slightly as he saw what was on it. Fuujin, sitting on a sofa, a bowl of popcorn in one hand, the other rapping Rajin upside the head. Squall put the picture on top of the clips and looked through more. There were quite a few pieces of writing paper. One folded up seemed to be a numerical password to a computer. Under the other a ring. Squall picked the band up with the paper and looked at it. It was completely silver, save for a diamond set in what seemed to be the same cross from Seifer's jacket. His mind lingered on the ring a bit longer but quickly enough he moved it into his palm so that he could open the second piece of paper. The words weren't even in focus when it was snatched from his hand.

"Do you mind?"

Squall jumped and looked to Seifer. He looked angry "I'm sorry," he said lifting his hands and dropping the ring, forgetting that it was still in his palm.

Seifer glanced to the floor and with another annoyed look, bent over and picked it up.

"What's that?" Squall asked, hoping Seifer wasn't too angry.

"A ring? What do you think it is," Seifer snapped, straightening. Squall looked away, slightly embarrassed and Seifer's expression softened a bit "Look, I'm sorry," he said in a slightly apologetic tone before leaning forward and putting the paper back into the box.

Squall decided to speak up before the ring was packed away as well "Is that an engagement ring?"

Seifer paused before putting the ring back and looked at it "Yeah, I guess it is. Matron said it was probably my parent's." Seifer flipped the ring over in his hand, closed the box, and went to the bed.

"It's nice," Squall said, taking a seat beside Seifer.

Seifer smiled "Yeah, I'd rather have the person it belonged to though," Before Squall had a chance to feel awkward he leaned in and kissed him "Do you want it?"

Squall at first felt tempted to say yes but quickly shook his head, eyes widening a bit "No, I mean, I couldn't. It was your mom's-at least I think it-well it-"

Seifer laughed as the brunette stumbled over his words "It's not like I remember her. It's not like I could wear it anyway," he held up a hand as if to prove it "It's a woman's ring, too small."

Squall gave the blonde an offended look "And what are you implying by trying to give it to me?"

Seifer laughed once more "Well-your not the biggest man in the world-"

The frown deepened.

"Ah, that is-I'm sure I had a very large mother,"

Squall smiled slightly and leaned against Seifer so that he could better see the ring "This isn't some sort of commitment I'm making is it?"

Seifer chuckled softly and shook his head "No," he said softly, taking Squall's hand in his own and slipping the band onto his ring finger "See, it fits."

Squall pulled his hand back and inspected it "I'm not sure if that's a good thing."

"Very large mother." Seifer reminded him with a smile.

Squall returned the kind look and leaned forward to give him a kiss "Thank you," he said once their lips had parted.

"Now if it's all right with you-" Seifer stood and walked to the side of the bed "I'm going to sleep."

"Fine," Squall watched Seifer settle back onto the floor. He supposed he was a little tired now. Slowly he crawled further onto the bed and climbed under the covers. His eyes closed for only a few moments before once again opening. He thought he was tired but he couldn't sleep. Instead of trying to sleep again his eyes trailed down to the ring. He smiled studying it and at last worked up the nerve to lean over the side of the bed "Seifer?"

"Huh?" Seifer pulled his head off the pillow and looked up to Squall "What is it?"

There was a short pause as Squall thought over his words "Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?"

Seifer looked surprised but quickly enough answered "I'm really not sure that bed can-"

"I can sleep down there," he interrupted.

Seifer paused this time but moved over and pulled back a blanket.

Within moments Squall had slid down onto the floor and was settled under the covers. He sighed "I think this is more comfortable than the bed."

"I think you might be right," he said watching Sqaull, a soft smile on his lips. His hands moved under the covers to take Squall's hands once more in his own, fingers running over the ring.

Squall lifted his hands from the blankets "Are you sure-"

Seifer rolled his eyes "Do you have to make such a big deal out of it? I already told you I don't really need it. Besides-" he let go of Squall's hands and moved his arm so that his fingers rested against the brunette's hair "Who else would I give it to?".

Squall gave the taller male somewhat of a sad smile, watching as he closed his eyes. Who else would he give it to? Fujjin and Rajin were gone, he had no parents, the majority of the school wished him dead. Was he really all Seifer had? Feeling a pang of guilt Squall moved forward slightly, burying his face into Seifer's chest and allowing his arms to circle around him. Within moments he had fallen asleep.

~^~^~^~

"Morning,"

Squall opened his eyes to a kiss. Smiling he stretched his arms out, hands brushing against Seifer's shoulders as they rose "Why so early?" he asked not bothering to sit up.

Seifer frowned slightly "Well," he started, going to an elbow so that Squall could pull himself up if he wanted to "I'm expecting 'you-know-who' to come and get you this morning. She's been determined to have you home."

Squall sighed and moved closer to Seifer as though trying to go back to sleep. He was still quite tired "I guess she called then, huh?"

"How'd you guess," Seifer said in a sarcastic tone, wrapping his arms around Squall and pulling him in close.

"When is she getting here?" he asked as Seifer pulled him over.

"What does it matter?" Seifer asked, leaning back as Squall settled himself on top of Seifer, head resting on his shoulder and legs on either side of him.

"What matters is I want to be prepared when-will you stop that?"

"What?" Seifer asked innocently, though he didn't bother to pull his hands out from under Squall's shirt.

The brunette sat up slightly, shaking his head though a smile still remained. Raising a hand he pushed a bit of hair from his eyes and dropped down to kiss the man beneath him.

Seifer closed his eyes, slipping his tongue in between Squalls lips and pulling him ever closer. Slowly his hands slipped from under Squalls shirt and towards the waist of his pants, working their way under the fabric until-

"Hah!" Squall broke away, covering his mouth and sitting up.

"What" Seifer looked over the man sitting over him confused.

Squall pulled his hand away to reveal the fact that he was trying to hide a smile "Sorry, that just tickled."

"Agh," Seifer groaned and fell back onto the pillows once more.

This of course only caused Squall to laugh a bit more "I'm sorry," he said pulling his shirt down as he spoke "I really do need to know when she's going to be here though."

As if on cue a knock upon the door sounded causing Squall to jump a bit in surprise.

"Ah," Seifer's eyes darted to the door frame "Now?"

"No kidding," Squall stood and quickly tried to make himself prestable before making his way towards the door. In sudden realization he slipped Seifer's ring from his finger and put it into his pocket. A groan from behind him told Squall that Seifer had seen the motion. Without time to apologize Squall opened the door and much to his suprise was attacked.

"Squall!" Rinoa grinned and tackled the brunnete. Throwing her arms around his neck he was forced to catch her and stumble back into Seifer who caught Squall by the shoulders "Oh Squall! I've missed you! It's almost like you've been avoiding me," she pouted slightly but playfully ginned, kissing him on the cheek "It's all right. I forgive you," she sighed, moving from his cheek to kiss him full on the mouth.

Squall felt Seifer's grip tense and fought to pull her away.

"Squall," she hissed under her breath looking slightly annoyed. Quickly she pulled back, taking Squall along by the hand "Let's go, Ellone's waiting," with a glance to Seifer she muttered her thanks. It was obvious she was still a little angry that Squall had chosen to stay with him.

"I have to get my things, you go on, I'll be right there," Squall pulled his hand from Rinoa's grasp.

Rinoa looked back reluctantly then nodded "I'll be waiting for you just out here," she assured as Seifer closed the door almost in her face.

"Sorry," Squall groaned, heading back into the bedroom to get his clothes.

Seifer cast an angry look towards the door and followed. Coming to a stop by sitting on the bed and watching Squall gather his things.

"Where did my jacket go?" Squall asked, having a hard time finding his clothes through the clutter. Not recieving an answer he glanced back to Seifer "Don't look at me like that," he groaned, notceing the annoyed look upon his face. Quickly he made his way to the blonde and lowered himself down beside him "I said I was sorry," he moaned, leaning against Seifer, hoping for any sort of response. When none came the moan became a something more of a groan and he stood. "Fine, if you want to see me later I'll be in my office," spoting his jacket folded on a shelf he snatched it up and taking the rest of his things left the room.

~^~^~^~

Squall closed the door to his office and literally reenacted Seifer's entrance into his dorm the night before. Collapsing into his office chair, Squall lowered his head onto his arms. Rinoa was clearly not happy with his course of actions ever since she had gotten back from her trip. She of course hadn't said anything with Ellone in the room but Squall could tell by looking at her that she was going to have a word with him later. Unable to take anymore glares, Squall had retreated into his office as he told Seifer he would. He hoped Seifer wasn't too angry with him not to show up. He could really use some company right now...a bit of company that wasn't furious with him...Of course Seifer seemed more than able to hold a grudge.

With a sigh Squall closed his eyes as though to get in a nap before someone came to the office. Of course it was then that the door swung open, being unlocked and someone entered. Squall's eyes darted open, though his hopes were shattered when he saw Rinoa closing the door behind her "Oh...hey..." Squall swallowed, straightening in his seat.

"Squall," she wasn't going to go into any sort of greeting. It seemed she was going to have that talk with him now "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I thought you said you forgave me for that?" he asked hopefully as she approached his desk.

"So you admit you've been avoiding me!"

Squall's heart sank. He'd fallen into that one.

"Squall, what's going on?" Rinoa took a seat on a old fold-up chair near his desk "Don't you love me anymore?" the young female leaned onto his desk so that he had no choice but to face her. Dark eyes glittered in a mixture of anger and nervousness and her hands tightened along the corners of the desk.

"Rinoa I-" Squall tried his best to find anything else to settle his eyes upon or another subject matter. He was stuck. There was no way out of this was there? "Rinoa, I didn't mean to-I mean I didn't know I-I-"

Rinoa stood and circled the desk, fingers sliding across the center until she came to a stop beside Squall. Moving her hands onto his shoulders she climbed into his lap and looked his in the face. After several awkward moments Rinoa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. 

Squall felt his body tense at her touch. A bit reluctantly he returned the act.

At last Rinoa pulled away, though not by much. She kept her eyes locked with his and made sure that their foreheads touched as she spoke "You do love me right?"

"I-" Squall opened his mouth to speak but Rinoa could obviously tell he didn't have an answer prepared because again she swooped in on him. She seemed to be afraid of what he might say and Squall was afraid not to allow her to kiss him. Of course it didn't stop there. Rinoa obviously wanted physical proof if not verbal. Just as reluctantly as before, Squall allowed her move her lips lower and to take his hands, moving them onto her. Squall's mind was racing so quickly that he didn't notice the door open a second time.

So much for coming to apologize for this morning. Seifer felt his balance waver as he opened the door to find Squall with Rinoa. They were obviously too preoccupied to notice a new presence in the room. Seifer forced his eyes away from the two and stepped back, again closing the door. He didn't feel so well anymore.

Finnaly Rinoa pulled away once more. Squall tried to think of how he should react to this but any idea of how to act eluded him. Rinoa however seemed content for the time being. Running her fingers through his hair she stood and left smiling.

A/N: That chapter wasn't my best was it? A bit short at that. Oh well...it took longer than most to write...hope it wasn't that bad. Please keep reviewing ^-^. Thanks.


	10. Just Another Party

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: Someone pointed out to me that Seifer was four when he went to the orphanage. How could he not remember his parents? Well, I don't remember anything before the age of six O.O. Sorry, I just thought it applied to everyone. Heh, if you can remember anything before the age of four I respect you. You are wiser than I ....or you're seven years old...one or the other.

Ellone groaned and shut the door behind her. Rinoa was almost unbearable these days. It was obvious that Squall wasn't exactly as affectionate as he had been before...had he ever been affectionate...Ellone glanced back at the fading dorm room. Probably not, though he more than likely had never avoided her like this before. Now it seemed Rinoa was trying to prove to her friends that she and Squall were still very much in love by planning a dinner party. She had originally said that this was to make up for the last party thrown...which had been an ultimate failure...it was obvious however of her true goal.

Now Ellone was leaving the two be. She couldn't take anymore of this one-sided romance and had offered to go to Balamb for supplies. Ellone had business to attend to before the errand. Counting doorways as she went, she finally came across the right one and gave a soft knock.

"Who is it?" came a distant and not exactly exuberant voice from within.

Ellone dropped her hand to her side "Not Squall," she said distinctly.

The voice from inside obviously realized who stood on the other side of the door because almost immediately the frame was open.

Ellone smiled a bit weakly "Mind if I come in?"

Seifer rolled his eyes slightly. This wasn't the first time she had asked this...he didn't feel like being yelled at a second time..."Fine," he sighed, stepping to the side and allowing her to enter before the door closed once more.

Ellone, came to a stop inside, clasping her hands in front of her legs and looking Seifer over "I haven't seen you around lately."

"That's because the school's still on high alert, you're not seeing anyone around," he grumbled, stretching a bit. Obviously he had just woken up from a long sleep. His hair was disheveled and though he still had on day clothes, they were quite wrinkled.

"That doesn't mean you couldn't come by every now and then," Ellone spoke as her eyes darted around the room.

Seifer watched as she inspected the mess with some distaste and smiled slightly reminded of Squall. Of course this feeling didn't last long as he remembered their last encounter "I never did before. Why would I start now?"

Ellone watched as the blonde sank down into the living room chair. Pink lips curled into a frown and she approached him wearing somewhat of a scowl "Look," her hands settled upon the arms of the chair and she leaned over to speak to him "It's not as though Squall is enjoying this."

"He's not doing anything to stop it," Seifer snapped before she could say more. A hand had slipped against his forehead as he slumped forward, trying to get across the message that Ellone was not exactly welcome.

"True," Ellone gave another sigh and lowered herself to her knees so that she could speak with him better. After a long, awkward silence, she spoke up "All right, how's this? There's a dinner party tonight. Rinoa is throwing it in that dining room reserved for guests, the one near the Headmaster's office," Ellone leaned forward, trying to see if he was listening or not as she still could not see his eyes "Anyway," she began again "Why don't you come?"

Seifer snorted "Why should I?" he looked back to Ellone, lowering his hand "It wasn't as if I was actually invited."

"I'm inviting you," Ellone stood again "And if you're not there I'll be very offended."

"I doubt that," Seifer sat up in the chair and finally shrugged "Fine."

Ellone smiled. She knew he was only hoping that Squall might finally show some sign that he in fact didn't love Rinoa in the least "It's tonight at eight...now...," Ellone crossed behind the chair and rested her hands on his shoulders "Why don't you come with me to Balamb. Hyne only knows how long you've been in this room."

~^~^~^~

Squall helped Rinoa carry the platters to the table. Another dinner party. Life with Rinoa was full of these though he never got used to them. He didn't even know who was invited to this part though he suspected only close friends. Probebly just Rinoa and the orphanage gang. Did that mean Seifer would come? Squall paused a moment, the plate slipping slightly in his grip.

"Watch it!" Rinoa rushed in front of the brunnete, allowing the platter to slide into her already full arms rather than crashing to the floor.

"Huh?" Squall snapped out of his daze and, exhaling slightly shook his head. No, he wouldn't come. Squall took the platter back into his arms and began again towards the table. There was little chance Seifer would show up. Even if he was invited he probebly didn't want to see Rinoa just now anyway....but what if he came for Squall?...Agh, Squall sat the platter down beside a few others and straightened "Rinoa, who's coming?"

The female on the other side of the table looked up "Huh?" there was no answer to the question, she didn't need it. At once her eyes rolled upwards in thought "Let's see, Irvine, Selphie and Zell, oh-Petunia, Quistis and...James?...Ellone of course. I invited the Headmaster and Edea as well. It was the least I could do since they let me use their guest dining room," with that she reached over to organize silverware "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Squall lied. So Seifer wasn't invited. He almost felt relived. There was no telling what Rinoa might try to do tonight. He didn't want Seifer to become angrier than he probably already was.

"Hey, do you know where Ellone is?" Rinoa was obviously satisfied with the table as it was. She had now busied herself pacing the room, checking clocks as though another might read differently.

"No," Squall answered lazily as Rinoa hurried into the storeroom to check for something along the lines of wine...or so Squall expected...At least his answer the truth. Squall hadn't seen his sister since she had returned with supplies early that morning. He wished she hadn't left again. Squall didn't enjoy being left alone with Rinoa...especially in her current state...Luckily he didn't have to wait long for the first guests. The door opened only moments later.  
  
"Cid, Edea," Rinoa grinned and rushed to the doorway ushering the two in.  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
Almost everyone was here now. It was almost eight. Squall had taken his seat early. He didn't feel like wandering about with Rinoa, speaking with random guests.  
  
"Irvine! You're here!"  
  
Squall groaned, dropped his head onto his hands and beginning to feel his eyelids droop. These parties were always so boring. He wanted to just eat, watch Rinoa socialize, and go home. This was torture.  
  
"Ellone, where were you? Oh and...hello...Seifer."  
  
Squall jerked up at those last four hesitant words. Indeed Ellone had entered the room and behind her tailed Seifer. Blue eyes wide, Squall watched as Seifer came to a stop behind Ellone, looking around the room until his gaze settled upon him. Squall sat rigid in the chair now, tearing his eyes away and looking down at the table. It didn't take long before the table was full.  
  
"Wake up," Rinoa's voice chimed at his ear and Squall looked up just in time to feel lips upon his cheek. Quickly his eyes moved across the table, finding Seifer and Ellone sitting near the opposite end of the oaken surface. Seifer it seemed was now trying to avert his gaze as well. He clearly disapproved at Rinoa's affection.  
  
"Hey, there're no hotdogs," Zell grumbled, getting a firm kick from Selphie.  
  
"Zell this is like a fancy dinner...kinda...get something else," she patted his shoulder apologetically and reached for something that looked to be a casserole. Licking her lips, grinned and spooned a bit onto her plate.  
  
Squall looked down the table. It looked as though everyone else was doing the same, save Seifer who, in the circumstances, was a little slow on the uptake as well "Ah," doing his best to blend with the crowd, Squall reached for a dish himself.

~^~^~^~

Seifer groaned into the glass at his lips. Rinoa was showing no sign of slowing down over there. It was ten and ever since the "party" had finished dinner, Rinoa had had Squall aside, occasionally ushering him from group to group in order to kiss him publicly. It was almost like watching a nature documentary and Rinoa was doing an excellent job marking her territory.

"Will you slow down," Ellone glared at the glass Seifer was holding. She had followed him over to the far corner of the room when the dinner had ended.- though a few people were still seated at the table chatting he hadn't wished to...and with good reason...-Now Ellone was trying to keep him from drinking all of the whine brought to the dinner.

Seifer ignored her words of course and went ahead with refilling his glass, watching as Rinoa pulled Squall's arm around her hips and snuggled up against his side "Agh," Seifer looked towards a wall at his left.

"Seifer, I'm sorry," Ellone sighed. She truly hadn't expected Rinoa's actions to come one after the other and Squall didn't seem willing to throw her off. Settling down in her seat she watched the two as they made their way from Irvine and Petunia to the corner. From there it seemed Rinoa was going to make another move, settling herself in the corner and saying something in hushed tones to Squall who was being held in front of her.

It wasn't as though Ellone had anything against Rinoa. In fact Rinoa was in her opinion a wonderful person...though at the moment she only wished the female gone from the room...Swallowing hard she watched as Rinoa pulled Squall in for a kiss, saying something with her lips hidden from view. Her fingers moved down his body, touch pausing last near his waist. Lips parting she moved her head to rest on his shoulder.

Ellone continued watching as she raised one hand to twirl in Squall's hair, closing her eyes and smiling. Opening her mouth she whispered something in his ear. Something that was easy enough to gather from simple lip reading.

Ellone froze and saw Squall tense as well. However, he relaxed soon enough, leaned into her, and whispered something that made her smile widen. She said 'I love you', did he return the sentiment? Ellone looked from the pair in the corner to Seifer who was standing now, no longer facing Ellone "Wait, don't leave yet," Ellone followed Seifer a few steps before flinging the storeroom door open and pulling Seifer in behind her "Just wait a little longer, please?" Ellone closed the door behind them, then tilted her head to better see Seifer. He had obviously seen what she had. Though he was obviously intoxicated it would have taken a lot more wine to shield that sight from view.

"Why should I stick around? I wasn't invited in the first place," Seifer moved to the left so that he was leaning against the far wall, between two shadowed storage shelves.

Ellone was forced to think over her answer. She had hoped perhaps he and Squall would be able to talk...however...that didn't seem likely to happen. Of course...she didn't want him to give up so easily...

"See," Seifer leaned further into the wall so that his face was completely hidden from view "Just let me leave."

The girl in front of him frowned, tapping the ground nervously with her left foot. He sounded as he had when Ellone had entered his apartment that first day. Ellone could imagine, of course, that this was worse. She now wished she hadn't invited him at all. This was her fault. "I'm sorry," she sighed apologetically, taking a few steps towards Seifer and doing her best to give him a comforting hug.

The blonde didn't make a move to show that he appreciated this but neither did he pull away. Ellone was about to suggest he go ahead home, as the sound of doors opening and closing was already sounding behind them, when she felt Seifer tense in her arms. She raised her hand to ask what was wrong when her parted lips were met with Seifer's own. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her against him. Ellone's eyes opened wide as he pulled her to the side. In this position she was clearly the open door behind her and Squall now retreating quickly from the room. "Mmf!" Ellone moved her arms to his chest and pushed him off and back onto the wall "You idiot!" she hissed "What are you trying to do? Make things more complicated that they already are." she looked up to see Seifer still looking out the door.

"Sorry," he said in a mumbled tone though Ellone knew it was sincere. 

Slowly she took his arms and pulled him toward the doorway and away from the wall "You need to sleep this off," carefully she inspected the outside. The guests had all seemed to have left. She glanced back to Seifer. She had a feeling the guy was going to realize the full altercations of exactly what he'd done when he woke up "Go home. I'll see you tomorrow...Rinoa asked me to help bring some of this back to her dorm..."

~^~^~^~

Squall hurried from his dorm, down the hallway. How could Seifer do that? Sure he had been with Rinoa all this while but Seifer knew well that he hadn't asked her to be so affectionate. How could he go and - Squall squeezed his eyes shut. Why should he care. It wasn't as if Seifer truly belonged to him. He could do what he wanted...no...Squall told himself. It's only because it was your sister. Otherwise you wouldn't care.

Squall was almost to Seifer's dorm now. He had gone ahead and told Rinoa what Seifer had done. He decided this might be best, instead of putting on yet another lie as to why he was leaving in the middle of the night. Squall wiped his eyes absently with the back of his hand and cursed himself for doing so. He wished this stupid party had never occurred, that he might have had patrol duties tonight instead of having them put off until the next day. He wished he had never invited Seifer into his office, wished he had never kissed him. He almost wished Seifer had vanished after the showdown on Lunatic Pandora.

"Squall!"

The brunette jumped slightly as words his name was shouted from behind him. Squall moved on his heel to see an older SeeD approaching him at a half job-half sprint. The dark haired male came to a stop, bending over to pant, hands settling upon his knees as he struggled to get breath.

"What is it?"

"T-there," his eyes traveled up to the indifferent expression on Squall's face "There was another attack, there's another dead. Just now."

"There's nothing I can do about it," Squall said in a cold tone "They're not the first or last to die, why should it be such a state of emergency now?"

"'Cause," the SeeD took a last deep breath and then kept his eyes locked with Squall's "I think you knew em'"

A/N: Soooo, who do you think it is? Just so you know, I have no reservations when it comes to character death so it could be anyone. ::Cough:: Only Akai chan knows. ::Looks in her direction:: and she won't tell...or shouldn't...Heh, I suppose she's been a beta reader...occasionally...though she helped me more with the stringing of the content than anything else. I hope this chapter was okay...and not too short...I just finished this up...sometime in the morning ::glances at the clock.:: Anyway, please review.


	11. Running Away

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I hope this chapter will be longer than the last ^-^; and perhaps a bit better worded. ::Sighs:: It seems as though my chapters won't be coming out as soon. School starts again tomorrow -.-. Oh well, please keep those reviews coming.

Jade green eyes opened to the glowing numbers on the digital alarm clock. Morning already? Seifer went onto his back, ready to sleep again. He had every intention of staying in bed until noon or later, the latter being more probable. His head was killing him. Why was that? Seifer came. easily enough to the answer, remembering the events of the night before he realized he would get no more sleep.

Seifer groaned and sat up and put one hand to his forehead. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath. Slowly moving from bed. Wincing slightly at a pang in his temples, Seifer stood. From there he said something inaudible under his breath before realizing there was nothing he could do. He might as well get a shower and then try to get the left-over alcohol smell off his breath.

With cautious steps, Seifer entered the bathroom, shed his shirt and pants and without bothering to grab a towel, climbed in. How could he do that? He thought over what he had done, adjusting the temperature of the water and closing his eyes under the spray. What's the big deal anyway? It's not as though you're really together. He was trying to convince himself he wasn't at fault but for some reason the "denial" only made him feel worse. Maybe you should go talk to him? No, that wouldn't be the wisest decision. Seifer was reaching for the shampoo when a knock on the door sounded. Eyes widening he hurried from the bathtub, out of the bathroom. Taking a new pair of denim jeans from the top of the dresser he slipped them on and hurried to open the door. However it wasn't Squall who looked back at him from the other side of the doorway "What is it?" Seifer grumbled, disappointed it was merely Zell.

"Mind if I come in man?"

Seifer quirked an eyebrow. Why was the Chickenwuss here, at this time in the morning, asking to come in. He looked serious. Suddenly a pang of fear hit Seifer and swallowing hard he stepped from the threshold, nodding.

Zell entered, not facing the other blonde until the door was secure behind him. Even then he made his way a few steps into the living room before speaking "It's ah, Squall."

Seifer panicked, rushing Zell, he settled his hands almost threateningly on the tattooed young mans shoulders "What happened!" he demanded.

Zell jumped at the unexpected touch but calmed quickly, reassuringly pulling Seifer's grip from his shoulders "He's okay...well kind of...you see," Zell lowered his head, looking quite saddened all of a sudden "She's dead."

Seifer relaxed a little despite himself but felt guild with those last two words. Rinoa? Was Rinoa dead? Certainly he didn't like her but he had never wished her dead!

Zell raised his eyes a bit "Ellone," he added "It was Ellone."

"Huh?" Seifer tensed once more "W-what happened?"

"The thing...you know...it well, attacked her. I guess it did. Some SeeDs found her lying dead in the hallway last night. There was broken glass around her...I guess she was helping Rinoa when...ah."

"Hyne," Seifer put his weight against the wall moving his hands to his face. He stood there a bit before uncovering his eyes and looking back to Zell "How's Squall taking it?"

Zell swallowed "Not good. He's angry with Rinoa. Blames her for bringing Ellone to all this chaos in the first place...and for letting Ellone help her that late at night...He's staying with Selphie and me...won't come out of the back room though...we haven't seen him since we invited him in."

Seifer shook his head and went to open the door again.

"Wait," Zell grabbed Seifer by the arm and pulled him back "No, Seifer...you can't see him..."

"Why not?" Seifer demanded in a loud tone, snatching his arm away from Zell.

"Heh-ah-when he mentioned Rinoa...he mentioned you too...He...blames you too Seifer...said-well what he said didn't make much since-I mean-" Zell stumbled over his words, a hand began to rub absently at his opposite arm as he spoke "he had to have been pretty out of it or something."

Seifer slid down against the doorway, slumping down against the frame. Idiot, it might as well have been your fault. He'll never forgive you now. Neither will Ellone...she can't...

"You okay?" Zell's tone was becoming more and more awkward. He had never been any good with these sort of things.

"Fine," Seifer lied badly, keeping his head down "You can go if you want." Slowly he moved to the side, allowing Zell to walk out, again leaving Seifer alone.

~^~^~^~

"I hate them," Squall murmured to himself "I hate them," the Ice Prince had ignored the sofa and computer chair in the backroom and curled up in the open closet, disregarding that old name and allowing himself to cry. Indeed he was now. Squall hadn't stopped his sobbing for hours now. His sides were already screaming in pain and his voice was beginning to leave him yet he showed no sign of slowing down.

"It's her fault," pale hands went to cover his face, taking hold of his hair in a painful grip "And he's no better than she is," slowly he rocked himself to beating of his own heart, subconsciously wishing above all else that he could fall asleep now and leave reality behind him. It was their fault, their fault! And his...he should have left Seifer when he had the chance...he might have been paying more attention to his big sister then "Agh!" Squall's hands went from his hair to opposite arms across his chest, gripping his wrists so tightly that his knuckles became white "You idiot, selfish idiot," Ellone was his family, she had been his world when he was little and not much less when he discovered her again. Now he had lost her. Who would he kill next with his carelessness? Laguna? No-Squall wouldn't let that happen-Standing, Squall wiped away his tears and started across the room and towards the doorway.

~^~^~^~

Seifer hadn't moved much from the spot where Zell had left him. He couldn't bring himself to do anything, his mind was spinning too quickly. How was this possible? How could Ellone-Seifer swallowed. He wondered how Squall was doing instead but that thought brought little more solace than the last. Groaning, Seifer leaned down against the wall a bit more. Suddenly the door burst open, sending him into upright and ready to get to his feet if need be.

"Squall!" It was Selphie, she had flung the unlocked door open and skidded to a stop in the middle of the front room, looking around wildly. Spying Seifer on the ground she focused her attention on him "Seifer, have you seen Squall?"

Seifer held his breath and stood "What do you mean?"

"I-we-" Selphie looked ashamed "I was comforting Rinoa...a-and...Zell was explaining to the others what happened. When I got back he was gone. Rinoa said he might be here,"

"Hyne," Seifer hissed, moving angrily past Selphie and grabbing his jacket and Hyperion. Without so much as making sure the door was so much as closed, he rushed down the hallway.

~^~^~^~

Squall settled himself beside the Balamb city boat dock. He couldn't leave now the next boat was due early in the morning, it was dusk now and getting a little cold. Of course he had no intentions of leaving. He didn't want to even chance missing the next boat out of here...nor had he brought along any money...Maybe he should have...he hadn't wanted to go back to Rinoa's though...someone would have surely dragged him back then. He had to leave now...he couldn't face people like this...Squall sighed and dropped his face into his hands as the breeze picked up, sending his hair back and his shirt billowing. He was forced to pull his feet over from the side as the water began to splash and soak his boots. What next?

"Squall!"

The hell? Squall looked over his shoulder, towards the familiar voice, and scowled. For the first time in several hours he stood and began walking down the stone road, away from the approaching blonde.

"Squall!" Seifer caught up with Squall anyway, panting as he snatched him back by the arm.

Squall winced slightly, stumbling backwards into Seifer. Pausing in surprise he stood there a moment, body pressed up against Seifer's own. Then realization flooded back and he instantly pushed the taller man away and without a word began to again make his way down the street.

Seifer however, hadn't let go of his arm "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded, again pulling the brunette back.

Squall let out an accidental whimper, arm rushing to his shoulder which began to throb under the stress.

"Sorry," Seifer loosened his grip on Squall's arm.

Looking away, Squall pulled his arm back to his side and again began to walk away "Just leave me alone," he muttered and without further argument continued down the road.

~^~^~^~

Why did he have to follow me out here? Squall cast an annoyed look over his shoulder. There was no one there but just to be safe he ducked into an ally. Hopefully Seifer would go home before morning...slim chance...Squall groaned at the entire situation and looked around. It was a small alleyway, only room for several trashcans, old newspapers, and several discarded cardboard boxes. Squall made his way to the end, against the brick wall. Squall winced, seeing the contents of the box at his side. It was just his luck to hide out beside a dead animal...a tabby at that...Guessing it was a dog or the like, he looked away, not wishing to keep his eyes upon the mangled feline any longer. It clearly hadn't been dead for long. In fact if he had gotten there earlier it might still be alive. He swallowed. That seemed to be the case with a lot of things these days. Dropping to the ground, he knew he was starting to cry once more. Why was he so damn weak?  
_  
Mew._  
  
Squall opened his eyes, tilting his head to the side to look back at the box.  
  
_Mew._  
  
Tentively he reached out and moved the corpse to the side, uncovering a litter of kittens. There were about four in count...though most seemed to be dead as well...Clearly at least one was left alive. Squall scooped the single, mewing kitten from the middle of the tiny pile. Eyes still sealed shut, the cat opened it's mouth wide to let out a fearful squeal, a pink tongue seen against the matter black fur.  
  
Squall ignored it's protests, running a pale finger between its ears to run along its back and tail. The kitten ceased its crying soon enough and curled into a tiny ball as Squall dropped to his side, closing his eyes.  
  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
  
Seifer walked along the road, glancing worriedly in all directions. Squall had escaped from his sight a long while ago and despite how hard he looked he still couldn't find him. He'd been at it for several hours now. He was tired and it was getting cold though the idea that he might need wait for morning hadn't occurred to him "Squ-" Seifer stopped himself, remembering that his voice was the last thing Squall wanted to hear right now.  
  
It was getting dark. Seifer looked up noticing a pair of headlights closing in on him. Casually he moved to the side, allowing the car to pass and backing up against the wall. Only there was no wall. Seifer stumbled back and looking about realized that he was between two buildings at the moment. Agh, keep moving, he groaned inwardly but was stopped as he head the sound of a slight whimper behind him. Seifer squinted his eyes in that direction, easily making out a human figure in the shadows.  
  
Squall? He felt his chest tense. He wasn't hurt was he? Seifer rushed forward, kneeling near the sleeping brunette. He was fine. Seifer sighed in relief though frowned as he noted Squall's streaked face and the fact that he was shivering "That idiot," Seifer muttered sadly as he removed his white trench coat and draped it over Squall. Straightening, the blonde moved an exhausted hand through his air. Moving several yards away from Squall, he sank to the ground, propping himself against the wall and drawing his knees up. It wasn't long before he too fell asleep.  
  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
  
"Mmm," Squall opened his eyes. It was morning already? His hand moved down to touch upon the kittens who gave a hoarse meow and nuzzled its head against Squall's fingers. When had he fallen asleep? Eyes widened in realization. The boat would be leaving any minutes. Squall took the kitten into his hands and jumped to his feet, tossing the white coat to the ground...wait...Light hues lowered to find that familiar red cross. Shifting the kitten to one hand, he took the jacket in the other "Seifer?" Squall started down the alleyway, coming to a stop as he noticed the blonde sleeping against the wall. Arms were folded as his short sleeved shirt was clearly not suited for such cold weather.

Squall dropped to his knees, brushing a hand against his cheek to make sure he was all right. Seifer seemed to be fine, though quite cold. Did he spend the whole night out here? How long was he looking for me? "That idiot" Squall sighed and moved in beside Seifer, draping the coat over them both and wrapping his arms around his chest.

A/N: Okay, this chapter wasn't great but it took forever to write. I've had school and such, been job hunting. ::sighs:: It took me forever to find the time to update this. I hope updates will come regularly now. Please continue reviewing.


	12. Scared Garden

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

It took several hours longer for Seifer to wake up. By then Squall was asleep once more as was the cat at his side. Jade green eyes opened to dark brown hair and pale skin. Puzzled he lifted his head from Squall's shoulder, leaning back against him as he slid forward "Heh," Seifer smirked, raising an arm from under Squall's and running his fingers through the brunette's hair "Squall?"

Squall opened his eyes at the sound of his name being spoken. It was early enough so that he was only sleeping lightly now. Seeing Seifer, he remembered the night before "I guess I missed my ride out of here, huh?" he asked with a weak smile. He might have been through crying at the moment but he still felt quite sick.

Seifer didn't say anything but instead returned the smile and pressed a kiss to his forehead "We don't have to go back yet, I can get us rooms," with a slight laugh he added- "Don't worry they'll be separate."

"No," Squall said softly, putting the still sleeping cat in his shallowest pocket so that it could still breath and also allow him to walk. However, a wave of nausea hit and within moments he was dropping to the ground, wincing as he gagged.

"Woah!" Seifer caught the smaller male before he could hit the ground, arms wrapped around his middle he shook his head "I'm carrying you more and more places," Seifer sighed, scooping him into his arms and starting for the nearest hotel.

~^~^~^~

"All right," Seifer placed Squall onto the bed, sitting down beside him "I guess you should just try to get some more sleep," Hands moved to prop Squall up as he removed his jacket, standing as he did so.

Squall went onto his side and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure he could sleep, not anymore than he already had today. Of course he didn't feel like doing much of anything either. As his mind again began to wander to earlier events, Seifer's voice sent him bolting upright.

"The hell is that!"

The kitten! Squall crawled towards the end of the bed almost laughing upon seeing Seifer pressed up against the opposite wall, staring at the hissing ball of fur upon the table "I found him," Squall chuckled in a hoarse voice "Last night."

"What is it?" Seifer demanded still glaring at the thing on the table.

"A kitten, what do you think it is?"

Seifer drew a little closer to the animal "It's too small," he muttered appraisingly "You're going to have to waste a lot of money on formula...or whatever the thing eats..."

Squall blushed slightly "I know, I was kinda wondering if you would...ah..."

Eyes tore from the kitten to fix on Squall "I've gotta take care of this thing now!"

"No!" Squall struggled to stand only to have Seifer cross the room quickly and push him back down 

"Just stay there. I'll do it, it's fine," Seifer sighed and sat down next to Squall. Allowing him to lean against his shoulder in order to support himself, Seifer raised a hand to rest against Squall's cheek "I'm going to go shopping now, okay?" he asked, tilting Squall's head to meet his eyes.

Squall frowned. He didn't have to treat him like a child. Of course he couldn't quite convince himself of that. He didn't want Seifer to go, he didn't want to be alone for even a minute. Squall swallowed his objections and simply nodded "That's fine."

Seifer nodded and pulled away "Is there anything I can get you while I'm out?" the question was a bit awkward. Squall could tell Seifer didn't know how to address the situation. 

With a shake of his head, Squall lye back against the cushions once more and closed his eyes. Within moments he felt a tiny body at his side and head Seifer's voice "He's not staying with my stuff. I'm hoping you'll roll over on him."

~^~^~^~

You don't know what you're doing. Seifer removed a can of powdered kitten milk from a small group of shelves and made his way towards the front of the store. He didn't know what to do about all this? He'd never had to comfort anyone before and he knew Squall would probably get worse as the night progressed. Depression and loss seemed to work that way, he knew from experience.

Placing his groceries before the cashier, Seifer glanced towards the front door, looking through the glass and to the street. He wished he was the one going through all this right now. It would be easier, he'd know how to handle it...and Squall wouldn't have to learn...

"That'll be 126G."

Seifer glanced back to the teen at the cash register "How much!" Seifer shook his head. He needed to just get back to the hotel room "Fine, here, take it." he snapped, tossing the sum onto the counter and gathering the groceries into his arms. He was running low on money. Hotel rooms and groceries didn't come cheap. Balancing his new load, Seifer walked the short distance back to where he was staying and nudged the door open. It was from the doorway that he spied the service phone. He did need to call the Garden didn't he?

__

"Hello?"

"Cid?"

__

"Yes and who may I ask am I speaking to?"

"It's your favorite student, Seifer, and you're private number isn't Private enough 'Headmaster'"

__

"I see, what do you want Seifer?"

"I found Squall, ah, we're staying here for a few days. I'm-ah-not sure if he's in any condition to go back to the Garden just yet."

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone. It sounded as though Cid was relived.

__

"All right. Have him stay there as long as he needs to. I'll send Rinoa over to take your place right away."

"I-I'm not sure that would be a good idea Cid. I think he would have stayed at the Garden if he wanted to see her...or at least have stayed in their room before hand...I'll run the idea by him though, if he wants he to come I'll call ya' back."

__

"...okay...I'll inform the others that Squall is safe. Thank you for calling."

Seifer hung up the phone and nodded his thanks to the older lady at the counter. Gathering the bags back into his arms, Seifer climbed the stairs back to his room and opened the door "Hey, I'm back." setting the groceries down on the table, he glanced to the bed only to find Squall missing. Before he had a chance to react, a whimper sounded behind him. Looking in the direction of the small kitchen, his eyes fell upon Squall. The younger man was sitting on the floor, back against the counter. One arm was folded over his drawn knees, head buried against his elbow. The other arm was stretched out over his legs, wrist hanging limp as a stream of blood dripped from his fingertips.

"Squall!" Seifer blanched, moving faster than he ever had before to kneel at the brunette's side. "Squall!" he repeated, hands rushing to inspect his wrist.

"What are you doing?" came a weak voice.

Seifer quickly realized that the only cuts were on his hands, these seemed to be from broken glass, a few shards of which still protruded from his fingertips. Raising his head, he glanced at Squall. He had clearly been crying while he was gone "What the hell did you do!" Seifer demanded, almost angrily.

Squall jumped slightly, looking down "I was thirsty, I guess I-I mean I'm sorry."

Indeed there were ruminants of a broken glass beside him.

"I'll clean it up."

"No," Seifer sighed, feeling quite guilty now "It's all right, come on, let's clean you off first," standing, Seifer took Squall by the forearm, pulling him to his feet and leading him into the bathroom "Sit here," he instructed, motioning to the toilet lid.

Squall sat, watching as Seifer pulled the remaining glass shards from his hand.

Seifer felt the eyes upon him and his eyes raised to meet Squall's "I'm not hurting you am I?" he asked, puzzled as to why he was receiving such looks.

"No," Squall said simply and when no more was said Seifer decided to initiate conversation...one that lead up to something that needed asking "I, ah, called Cid," Squall's expression didn't waver and after a pause, Seifer continued "He said you can stay here a while, thinks it's best." Pulling out the last of the glass, Seifer snatched a washcloth from the towel rack by the sink and moistened it "They were worried about you, I'm sure they were. You shouldn't have run off like that," Seifer dabbed away the blood "...She was worried too ya know..."

Squall tensed slightly but Seifer had to ask "Cid wants her to come her, switch out with me. If you want-"

"No!" Squall shouted, snatching his hand away and storming from the bathroom "It's her fault she's dead in the first place!" As though realizing what he had just said, Squall collapsed onto the bed, shoulders shaking violently as he cried.

Seifer was still standing where he was, still holding the washcloth. He wasn't sure he wanted to walk in there and face him....he clearly wasn't helping...A bit reluctantly he sat the cloth on the sink corner and started towards the bed "Look Squall," he started a bit nervously, hands moving to his pockets as he stood a few feet from the man on the bed "I don't claim to like the girl...but you shouldn't hate her for this...She didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sure she feels horrible about everything...I'm sure..."

"Shut up!" Squall buried his face in the mattress, hands coming to the top of his head and fingernails digging into his scalp.

Seifer took a step back but in silent realization gave Squall's shaking figure a stern look and moved forward "Damnit Squall it's not her fault! Ellone wouldn't want you to blame her!" Squall continued crying. Seifer had had enough, he didn't want to see Squall like this. This wasn't the SeeD he knew at all, the man he knew would never act like this "Glad _she's_ not around to see this. I'm sure _she'd_ be ashamed of her 'little brother'" Seifer spat under his breath, scooping the sleeping kitten from the bed he took it to the table. Placing it on the cloth and shifting angrily through the bag for the formula he had purchased.

Seifer froze halfway through his actions as a pang of guilt hit. Hoping Squall hadn't heard him, he looked back to the bed. Clearly he had. The brunette had ceased his crying, though he stayed where he was and every few moments a sobbing spasm ran through his body "Squall," Seifer stood, moving, again towards the bed "I'm sorry, I didn't think. I didn't mean it I-"

Squall raised his head, causing the blonde to wince as he caught a glimpse of his pained expression "No, y-you're right," he managed to get out a bit slowly.

Upon instinct Seifer sank down onto the mattress beside him, moving against the headboard and pulling Squall up against him.

Squall leaned in against the other man's chest, squeezing his eyes shut and gripping the fabric of his shirt tight "It's not her fault and I know it-it's just-" Squall gave several spasms again, causing Seifer to squeeze the smaller man closer with a soft "Shh." Squall calmed slightly and continued "It's just that if it isn't Rinoa's fault...that means it was only mine..." fingers tightened against Seifer's tight t-shirt as Squall began crying almost silently this time.

Seifer only smiled "It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known and even if you had you couldn't have done anything about it."

Squall lifted his head, releasing Seifer's shirt slightly "I could have gotten her away from it, if I'd been there-"

The smile quickly became a frown "Are you just convinced that someone has to be responsible? If you wanna blame someone blame that thing that killed her!" 

"But-"

"Ah!"

Several long moments of silence followed before Squall nodded "Will you help me?"

Seifer stared, it was quite the general question. Gathering his thoughts he smiled once more "I'll do everything I can." he said in a gentle tone, that despite its uncharacteristic nature suited him well.

Without warning there came a loud meow from the table. Obviously someone wanted a meal. "Ah," Seifer groaned and looked down at Squall "I think I've got to feed that thing."

Squall reluctantly let go, watching as Seifer stood and walked to the table. Rolling his eyes slightly as he tried to figure out how to make the powder into a liquid "Are you hungry?" he asked as he put water into the bowl before him.

"No,"

Seifer frowned over his shoulder "You haven't eaten anything all day, you're having something anyway...as soon as I feed this thing..." Tossing the spoon he had used to stir to the side, Seifer sat the bowl beside the kitten. Nothing happened.

"It's too small," Squall watched the kitten continue mewing "Isn't there a bottle or something in that canister."

Seifer's mouth dropped open a bit. Taking a few steps to the counter he removed the top from the can and looked inside "...you're kidding me..."

~^~^~^~

"I think it's a cute look for you Seifer."

"Shut up," the blond frowned at the kitten drinking from the tiny bottle in his hands. Squall obviously found Seifer's discomfort quite amusing...Seifer looked as though he was going to die...Sitting at the end of the bed he shot Squall a dirty look as the other man made an "Aww'ing" sound as the kitten batted at Seifer's fingers "Why aren't you doing this?"

Squall put a spoonfull of soup into his mouth "Because I'm eating." he smiled slyly, feeling much better than he had earlier "-and because it's very sexy?"

That was out of the blue. Seifer raised his eyebrows "It is?"

"Mmm," Squall followed the broth in his mouth and shook his head "No, maybe adorable's a better word."

"I don't like you," Seifer lowered his eyes back to the kitten who promptly moved its head to the side "Is it done?"

"Yes," Squall finished his soup and sat it to the side, reaching forward to relive Seifer of the feline.

"It's about time," Seifer grumbled, getting to his feet and taking the bowl from the nightstand.

"But it has to eat every two hours," Squall added quickly.

Seifer gave an even louder groan, slumping dramatically over the sink. He had never been good with animals and that thing in the room was no expectation to his luck.

"Hey, what time is it?"

Seifer looked back to Squall who had managed to make the kitten a bed beneath the nightstand. It was now curled in a pillowcase, purring contently. Seifer moved his eyes from the kitten to the window and shrugged. The sun seemed to have gone down. Had the day passed this quickly? "I suppose it's at least past six," he guessed "Why, you tired?"

Squall shrugged in response. He knew he shouldn't be but he was. He had done nothing all day and he was still tired "I guess so."

Seifer rinsed out the milk bowl "Well go to sleep. I'll take the sofa."

"No."

Seifer raised an eyebrow, glancing to Squall somewhat puzzled.

"What?" Squall offered a soft smile "I don't want to be alone and I know you don't mind sharing a bed with me...at least I think you don't..."

Seifer quickly shook his head and after a few minutes of straightening things, removed his shirt and tossed it on the sofa. Switching off the overhead lights he moved into bed beside Squall.

"Thanks," Squall muttered, leaning forward to rest his head on Seifer's shoulder as the blond pulled the blanket over them.

Seifer didn't answer, he just continued to lye there. He wasn't quite sure how to respond. Making a move on a guy who was in the middle of a mourning process didn't seem right. He didn't stay there awkwardly for long however, Squall spoke up soon enough.

Pulling away from Seifer, he switched the bedside lamp on with a click He apparently sensed Seifer wasn't quite ready to fall asleep...or simply unable to..."You can stay up if you want." Squall raised his head to look to Seifer.

"Like there's anything else to do," Seifer smiled but Squall simply sat up a bit more.

An initiation of conversation seemed necessary and there was one question that had been on his mind anyway "When you came in...you know...earlier...w-what did you think I'd done...?"

Seifer felt his face grow read. He knew what he'd though but wasn't quite sure how to word it "I thought you'd tried to...agh...oh hell, you know what I thought."

As Seifer averted his eyes, Squall's widened "Why would you think I'd sink to something like that?" he shook his head "That wouldn't help anyway, especially not Ellone. Only cowards try to back out of things like that."

"'Guess you're right. I am a coward aren't I?"

Squall felt short of breath, eyes moved quickly to where Seifer had gone onto his side, back now to the puzzled brunette "What -what are you talking about?" Squall managed, though he knew all to well what the older man meant. Seifer seemed aware of this as well. He didn't answer "You didn't-" Squall, sat up completely now, trying his best to urge Seifer on. When still no answer came he assumed the worst "Damnit Seifer, when!" he sounded genuinely worried, his voice close to tears and for good reason. He couldn't take anymore surprises today.

Seifer clearly already knew this "It's nothing, okay, just go to sleep," he cursed himself for saying something in the first place now.

Squall wasn't about to let his question go unanswered "When!" he demanded, almost shouting.

Seifer groaned in defeat and sat up beside Squall "Two years ago," he muttered "When I'd left the Garden for a while."

"Squall kept his eyes on Seifer "You left the Garden a second time."

With a sad laugh the blonde nodded "See, you wouldn't notice would you? I doubt anyone did." noting Squall's guilty expression he shook his head "Don't worry about it. It's not as if you didn't have other things on your mind."

Swallowing Squall once again urged him on "Why did you leave?"

"Why do you think?" the sad smile remained and nervously Seifer ran a hand through his hair "After a year of no one speaking to you but to offer threats or go so far as to act them out...I was sick of the Garden...I went to Esthar" a dark laugh followed "and the ironic thing was, things were no better there. I guess I'm a household name huh?" after a momentary pause he continued "I guess it was even worse there, heh, no school rules to keep them down. Suppose it wouldn't have been a problem if I'd made any attempt to fend them off...if seemed a bit pointless though...still does," Seifer sighed "To make a long story short I stayed there a month before putting a razor to use in a motel room. Next thing I knew I was in a hospital room with your dad jumping down my throat about the whole thing."

Squall found it hard to speak. His father had known what had happened and hadn't bothered to tell him? He bit his lower lip "L-Laguna knew?"

"Yeah," Seifer smiled once more, pulling up his knees under the covers and resting his hands upon them to inspect his wrists "Your dad's a pretty nice guy."

Squall ignored the latter, focusing his attention on where Seifer's own eyes lay. Leaning forward he looked over Seifer's wrists himself. No wonder he had never noticed before. Matching white scars, though quite visible upon scrutiny were well hidden otherwise. Squall paled. Suddenly he felt himself fall forward over Seifer, tears starting up once more "You idiot!" he shouted feeling the blond give a start underneath him.

"-Squall,"

"You wouldn't do that again right?" Squall raised his head, meeting Seifer's jade green eyes with his own tear-blurred, brown hues "I mean you weren't thinking then...you wouldn't do anything like that now...right?"

Seifer stared at him for several long moments before the smile returned and her put his hands around the small male before him "You're with me now Squall," he laughed "As lame as that sounds it's the truth...I'm fine as long as I have you..."

Crying silently, Squall moved forward, placing a fierce kiss upon Seifer's lips before pulling back "As long as I'm with you." sitting in front of him now, Squall reached forward, taking Seifer's hands in his own "Seems a little selfish doesn't it?" he asked as he moved his fingertips across a faded scar "What if I'm not always with you?"

Seifer shook his head, looking away.

After a few more moments of silence Squall leaned in again, another kissed placed upon the other man's lips only this time he stayed close "But you have me now," he whispered and then, as if that hadn't caught Seifer off guard- "You're not a virgin are you?"

Green eyes widened but in his shock he managed to answer anyway "No, I guess I'm not, why-"

Squall pulled back, blushing furiously as he did so "Hyne...Seifer..do I have to spell it out for you!" he demanded, the one to look away this time.

Seifer still looked genuinely shocked "You want to....-now...?"

"Agh!" Squall gave and exasperated groan, falling back towards the head of the bed "Forget I said anything, for some reason I thought this would be easier."

Seifer let the surprised look fade and without warning began to laugh.

"It's not funny," Squall muttered, throwing his arms over his face as he spoke.

"So you're a virgin then?" Seifer sounded slightly relieved though the sound of his voice didn't quite hit Squall.

"So," he muttered almost petulantly "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," Seifer lifted a hand from Squall's face "That's great," lips settled upon pale fingers and his smile widened as he realized Squall was once again wearing his ring.

Squall lowered his other arm and looked up at Seifer "So we're going to-"

"Will you stop confirming so much?" Seifer laughed softly, lowering Squall's hand and lowering down to place a kiss upon his lips-silencing the smaller male.

Squall raised his hands onto Seifer's bare back, squirming slightly as he felt familiar hands slip downwards and under his shirt. The surprisingly gentle touch slid slowly up lips moving down as palms raised.

"Ah," Squall felt a tongue tracing his chest and raised his arms as Seifer continued to pull the brunette's shirt off and absently toss it to the floor. Almost immediately he settled his mouth upon Squall's neck and shifted the attention of his hands to unbuttoning the other's pants.

"Seifer," he hissed a bit nervously as leather pants slipped pas his thighs and onto the floor as well, hands now moving along his bare waist.

The blonde pulled upward, pushing a wisp of hair from his eyes "If you want me to stop I can," it was obvious that he wasn't fond of the idea but of course he had no intentions of raping Squall either.

"No," Squall breathed, relaxing as much as he could on the pillows behind him "I'm fine."

"Good," smirking Seifer moved downwards again, one arm moving over Squall's shoulders as the other unbuttoned his own pants.

Squall swallowed as he heard yet another piece of clothing fall to the ground. He couldn't help but be nervous. Squeezing his eyes closed, her moved his head to the side, feeling his heart pound as the touch upon his waist returned, this time moving downwards, fingers moving along his hips. The arm at his shoulders forced its way against the small of his back, causing Squall to arch and giving Seifer room to move his second hand under him as well. He felt Seifer use his elbows to raise off of him as unexpectedly, at least to Squall, he pushed upwards and into him.

Squall yelped, legs rising around Seifer and eyes opening to meet the blonde's worried gaze.

"Are you all right?"

He nodded, somewhat timidly as Seifer pulled back but had little time to do anything else. As soon as the fact that Squall was all right was acknowledged, Seifer moved back downwards. Hips moving down against Squall's and hands moving back to his shoulder's this time.

"Mm," arousal hit Squall and hard. He pulled himself upwards, farther against Seifer, fingers pressing into his lover's back. He felt a warm breath against his neck as arms circled around his back. Seifer sat back, pulling Squall against him.

"Squall,"

Squall smiled softly, that nervous feeling had long depleted. Senses array he felt Seifer's touch against his cheek and leaned into it with a catlike purr. Lips touched where the hand had once been and fingers slid down his neck. One arm still looped around Squall he moved him back to the mattress so that he was on his side.

Squall kept his eyes closed, hands raising to take to hand at his neck, lips brushing against his fingertips. Slowly the hand slipped from his grasp to rest on his shoulder. Without thinking Squall made the slight shift to his abdominan. He welcomed the feeling of the other man over him and within moments he felt Seifer inside him once again "Ah!" Squall whimpered, his fingers tightening this time on the sheets.

Seifer's hands settled over Squall's and he moved deeper.

Squall yelped a second time but the sensation of pain faded within moments. Seifer pulled back then downwards a second time. Now the feeling was replaced with one Squall had never experienced before. A moan different from the ones before escaped his lips and his voice grew louder as Seifer moved faster. Excitement coursed through Squall's small form and unable to take any more his arms tensed and he pushed upward. Almost immediately his body gave out and he collapsed. His body fell into an arm Seifer had moved forward to catch him, the other lower, meeting the climax.

"Seifer," Squall said softly, opening his eyes slowly, suddenly feeling undescriblly tired and without any idea as to why. Blue eyes settled upon the blonde who was currently cradling in him in his arms. Seifer was again looking down upon him with a smile somewhere between sadness and content.

Exhaling he leaned in for one more kiss, "I love you," he whispered into his ear before lowering Squall back onto his side and then moving himself behind him.

Squall closed his eyes once more, feeling them moisten as he raised his hands to meet Seifer's as the circled around his stomach. This felt so right, he reasoned. A gunblade master, who had defeated a sorceress, the pride of Balamb Garden, perfectly capable of making it on his own, feeling safe in someone else's arms...another man's at that...Not only right, perfect. Squall smiled "I think I might love you too."

A/N: You have no clue how nervous I was. That was my first scene of that...er...nature, ever. Sure I'm done my fair share of yaoi rp's but one: I'm underage, two: I'm a virgin, and three: I've never had to write it playing both roles. I hope it was decent, heh, I know it wasn't that graphic. I'm scared FF.net will have my head if I make it too graphic. Sorry it took so long as well. I've been so busy it isn't even funny. ::Sighs:: Hopefully the next chapter will get finished sooner. In the mean time I'll try to keep up my current pace. Please keep reviewing.


	13. Intermission

Intermission

To those of you who care, I'd just like to state that I am still working on EH. With school and such I've been a bit side tracked...of course the fact that I get hardly ANY reviews plays apart as well..-.- doesn't seem to be much of a point in finishing trash does it. Well, when I get around to it there will be more chapters...with no encouragement my morale is low...not that it usually isn't. Anyway, after getting one complaint for lack of updates I decided to post this. Hope it answers at least one person's question.


	14. Procession

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I honestly didn't think anyone would care if I abandoned this fic of not. o.o Thanks guys, because of your support I managed to make time to finish the chapter (A three day weekend didn't hurt either). It's nothing grand but I hope it's better than nothing. Please keep reviewing ^-^; and thank you again for past reviews.

Seifer stretched out under the blanket as the light from a nearby window finally woke him. Slowly he opened his eyes and recalling the events the previous night smiled, only to soon realize that there was no one in his arms. Heart skipping a beat he sat up with a start.

"Oh, you're awake," Squall looked over his shoulder from where he stood by the sink rinsing out a dish. Seifer noted that the brunette was already fully dressed.

"What time is it?" Seifer yawned, relaxing slightly and leaning back against the headboard.

Squall put the dish away and smiled, starting back towards the bed "Not sure. I got up a while ago, fed the kitten and had breakfast."

Seifer smiled as Squall took a seat at the end of the bed "And you didn't wait for me?" he teased, pulling Squall onto him.

With a sigh the smaller man closed his eyes and allowed his head to loll forward onto Seifer's shoulder "There was nothing to wait for. You only bought cereal...and no milk..."

"Oh," Seifer shrugged at his own mistake and put a hand to Squall's hair "Well we can go shopping together today and you can make sure I get everything this time."

Squall pulled back a bit, eyes moving away "I have to go back...today..."

"What!" Seifer sat up once more, looking slightly annoyed "You-"

"I know, don't start," Squall groaned and moved from Seifer's lap to his side "It's just...I don't want anymore people to die...besides Cid called, the funeral's the day after tomorrow," at that last comment he fell deathly silent, eyes fixing upon the floor.

Seifer felt a slight pang of guilt for arguing in the first place "Squall," he moaned softly, raising his hand once more and putting it to Squall's face.

Almost immediately the other male shook his head "No, I'm fine. We just need to get going, Laguna should be getting here soon, if he hasn't come already and-"

"Woah, one step at a time," Seifer dropped to the mattress "Nothing will happen until tonight, I'm sure of that. You can take your time Squall," after an awkward silence he added with somewhat of a disappointed tone "I guess you want to be around others then, huh?"

Squall shook his head. The question had been vague but he caught what Seifer meant and was near shocked that he would think something like that "No!" Squall lowered himself down beside Seifer and pressed up against the blonde with a smile "Last night was wonderful....I..." he suddenly blushed "-that is-ah-thank you."

"Thank you?" Seifer quirked a brow and wrapped his still bare arms around Squall.

"Agh, that didn't come out right," Squall frantically began wracking his mind for the correct word choice. Luckily Seifer deemed the search unnecessary with a simple laugh, pulling Squall closer with a smirk.

Squall couldn't help but smile as well, after a few moments he realized Seifer was going back to sleep "Seifer!"

"What?" Seifer asked, innocently pressing a kiss against the brunette's forehead "It's still early, we have plenty of time to get going."

"But-"

"Oh be quiet, I'm getting to it," Seifer sighed, moving his eyes to meet Squall's then smiling once more.

Squall promptly blushed.

"Why are you still so embarrassed?" Hand went to settle upon the side of Squall's red face "I thought you would have gotten over that by now."

Squall kept his head upon the pillow "It's nothing, I just-ah-I don't know...I know I shouldn't after...last night but I-well-"

"It's fine," Seifer smiled once more "Last night was a bit short lived anyway."

Squall narrowed his eyes "Huh?"

"I mean don't get me wrong, it was great...just a little quick..."

Squall didn't look any happier "Then why didn't you take your time?" he grumbled, fuming over his words, slightly offended.

"You were a virgin, hell you tired out so quick I mean I hardly had time to-" Seifer's sentence was cut short as Squall tackled him. Again Seifer only laughed, rolling the smaller man on top of him with ease. Clearly he had chosen his words specifically to annoy Squall "It's fine though, we'll just have to try again."

Squall rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile by looking away as Seifer kept hold of his wrists "Whatever."

"Oh gawd," Seifer melodramatically let Squall fall back to his side and put his hands to clutch his forehead "One word vocabulary back-agh-" facing Squall once more, head still upon the pillows he moaned "sex-drive waning."

Squall pouted without noticing and frowned "I never had a 'one word vocabulary."

Taking the cue to roll his own eyes, Seifer made a 'tch' sound "Whatever."

"Maybe you never heard me say anything else because you were such a me-centric jackass...still are..."

"Ouch," Seifer wince, clapping a hand to his chest "Below the belt," leaning forward and pressing his lips against Squall's "Very sexy."

"What makes you think I want to consent to this after what you said?" Squall asked, picking up Seifer's smirk.

"You tell me," Seifer pressed his lips to Squall's once more, arms traveled back around him. His tongue moved into Squall's mouth, and his body went further against the other man's.

When at last Seifer pulled away Squall exhaled softly. His eyes opened once more to settle upon Seifer who was still holding him in his arms. Why was he staying wth him? Seifer knew the answer immediately. It was because Seifer loved him...or said he did...It wasn't as though he hadn't heard that line before. Rinoa quoted it often...but when Seifer repeated it...he believed it. Swallowing hard Squall pushed his lips back against Seifer's, taking the blonde a bit off guard as he did so.

Seifer relaxed easily enough and moved a hand to brush against the side of his face. The other arm stayed wrapped around Squall's back. It looked as though their interaction was to go one step further when a knock sounded on the door.

Squall sat up with a start, smoothing out his now disheveled hair. With a glance to the still nude Seifer, he made sure the other man had gathered his clothing off the ground and was well on his way to the bathroom before Squall went to answer the door. Removing the ring from his hand and dropping in into his pant pocket he pulled upon the handle "L-laguna?"

"Mmm hmm," Squall's father smiled broadly and took advantage of his son's surprised state by giving him a hug "So," he pulled away, hands still on Squall's shoulders "How are you?"

"Ah," Squall still looked quite puzzled "I was about to head back to the Garden but-" his voice trailed off and his eyes trailed behind Laguna to make sure no one else had showed up as well.

"The Ragnarok's just outside town," Laguna said with the same smile and then in a slight undertone- "You didn't think the funeral would be at the Garden did you?"

Squall lowered his eyes and shrugged "No, I guess not."

Seeing a need to change subject, Laguna sighed "Sooooo, is Seifer here as well? Cid told me...he was staying with you..." the latter of the comment was said accompanied with a few blinks. It was clear that Laguna thought this a bit odd...He supposed it was only normal...He and Seifer had never been the closest of friends before. Before he could respond however, Seifer came from the bathroom, now fully dressed. Apparently he had recognized the voice with ease for he didn't seem the least surprised.

"I guess you are," Laguna shrugged and offered Seifer a nod in greeting "So, do you plan on coming with us?"

Seifer opened his mouth to reply hurriedly that of course he would...then on a though that it might be wiser to answer a bit more calmly he simply collected his composure and shrugged...

~^~^~^~

"All right, everybody in," Laguna climbed the short walkway to the Ragnarok and ushering the two inside "We need to hurry things along."

Squall watched the door clang shut then entered further into the ship. He recognized the interior well, though he hadn't been onboard in quite a while. The Garden usually provided transportation for missions. He hadn't had any need as of late for the Ragnarok. Now that he was back on board he realized how much he had missed it. Of course he doubted that the feeling of an ensuing battle that usually came accompanied with it was defiantly going to be missing. Proof to back this came all to soon, passing the control room he not only noted his friends from the garden but also...Rinoa...

"Squall?" Rinoa looked over his shoulder as if sensing his presence. A worried look spreading across her face, she stood from where she sat in a seat against the wall and ran towards Squall. 

The young man winced, closing his eyes against the inevitable before- "I want to see Squall!...He needs me..."

Opening his eyes, Squall was relived to find that Seifer had stepped in front of him and was currently warding Rinoa away "The guy's standing right there, he can decide whether he "needs" to talk with you right now or not."

"What-"

"Look if he wanted you to-"

"He needs someone to-"

"Like you'd do anything but hang all over him."

Rinoa glared at the tall male blocking the way to "her" Squall and sighed. Shaking her head she retreated back to her seat.

Seifer looked first to puzzled Laguna then back to Squall.

"You didn't have to do that," Squall said in an almost scolding tone. Of course he couldn't hide the fact that he was quite relived. He didn't want to speak to Rinoa just yet and Seifer seemed quite aware of this. Shaking his head, Squall cast a final glance to the usual group, Quistis, her boyfriend, Selphie, Irvine, Petunia, Zell, Kiros, and Ward, all were gathered in the hallways talking amongst themselves.

Laguna suddenly appeared at his son's side "The funeral's in the morning," he said in a hushed tone. We're picking a few more parties up, after that I'm guessing the night will be spent here. That all right?"

Squall shrugged "It's fine," he truly just wanted to get this over with but that wasn't about to happen.

"We've added some beds since last you were here, down the stairs," Laguna pointed in the direction of another room, then seeing Squall had nothing more to add, stepped away.

As soon as his father was out of earshot, Squall looked to Seifer "Coming?" he asked hopefully. The blond nodded, following Squall as he went through the door and down the hallway, entering the new room behind him.

~^~^~^~

"Zell, go get Squall, ask him if he wants to come get some dinner with us."

"But-" Zell whined '' why was he always the one who had to run errands "No." he said firmly, looking at Selphie with a determined expression upon his face.

Selphie sighed, leaning forward to press a kiss to her boyfriend's cheek "Please? C'mon, pretty, pretty please?"

"Fine," Zell groaned and hurried down the staircase. He was afraid he might walk in on something again. He already knew there was no way to knock at these doors. Once you got close enough to do so they opened automatically whether you wanted them to or not. Putting a hand next to his face to shield his eyes if need be, Zell stepped in front of the doorway and allowed it to slide open. He sighed in relief as the two looked up from the gunblade magazine they'd been discussing "Oh, Hyne, thank you." Zell entered, the doors closing behind him "I've walked in on enough to last me a lifetime, this is a relief."

Seifer laughed slightly at Zell's constant misfortune. It took Squall a moment longer to realize what Zell was implying and when it hit him he blushed "Oh."

"Anyway," Zell nodded to the two males watching him from the bed "They wanna know if you want to go get a bite to eat with them. I doubted ya wouldn't but-" he shrugged.

Squall gave a firm nod "I don't, I'm sure there are some groceries left over from the hotel," he looked Seifer after speaking, though he was sure he knew what the other male would say.

"I'm staying," Seifer said simply still watching Zell.

Zell nodded, though he didn't leave just this. Glancing over his shoulder he took a few steps forward, then lowered his voice "You're okay now, right man?" the question was clearly directed towards Squall.

"Uh, yeah," Squall managed a weak smile "Sorry for running out on you like that," 

He was clearly embarrassed about the whole ordeal and Zell, nodding a second time, decided to leave it at that. He was about to leave when something caught his attention "What the hell is that?"

"Huh?" Squall looked down towards the kitten in his lap "Oh," he laughed slightly at Zell's expression and handed him the sleeping feline. "I found her."

"And kept...so it's a her now?..." Seifer rolled his eyes, not bothering to look at the cat and instead going to another page of the gunblade magazine upon the mattress.

Zell jumped slightly as the kitten let out a shrill meow. Quickly he gave the cat back to Squall "It's-ah-cute."

"No it isn't," Seifer muttered, causing Squall to give him an annoyed look, one quickly cured by a kiss on the cheek.

Zell began to feel increasingly uneasy and Squall, noticing this felt a bit embarrassed himself "Seifer," he hissed.

"What?" the other male had already gone back to reading the magazine. Zell already knew right? What was the big deal.

"It's fine," Zell assured "I've got to be going anyway...so do...whatever-"

Seifer looked up from what he was reading and quirked an eyebrow "Whatever?"

Squall tensed a bit angrily "Seifer!"

Zell swallowed, the uneasy feeling not quite gone "You know what I mean-ah-That is, I'm sure you want me gone so-"

"So?"

"Seifer!"

"Hell, I don't know. I mean it's not as if you've-...ah..."

"We've...oh...we've done that,"

"SEIFER!"

"Zell! Did you get lost or something!" Selphie's voice came from upstairs, just in time to save Zell but not Seifer...Squall had already landed a firm punch to his arm...

"See ya guys," Zell said hurridly, rushing from the room and leaving Squall, sitting humiliated on the bed.

"...Ow..." Seifer rubbed his arm, looking to Squall with a "what-the-hell-did-you-do-that-for" expression upon his face.

~^~^~^~

"This place is cute," Selphie sighed, stretching in her chair. Most everyone else had opted for a more sophisticated restaurant but Rinoa, insisting she needed to speak with Selphie had opted for the cozy diner..which meant of course...

"Why'd I have to come too?" Zell frowned at the country interior "No one else had to come."

Selphie looked to Zell with a smile "Because you care about Rinoa too, right?" In all honesty, she'd wanted to go with the rest of the group as well...but she couldn't very well just say no now could she...

"Thanks," Rinoa spoke both to Selphie and Zell as well as to the waiter who had just handed them their drinks.

"So what's up," Selphie asked casually sliding the paper from her straw.

The dark haired young woman made a "hmm" sound before speaking, sipping at her drink and seemingly thinking over her words "Do you think Squall's been acting a little odd lately?"

Zell tensed. He should have seen this coming. Selphie merely shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable herself "Well, I mean, his sister just died. It's to be expected."

"I don't mean that," Rinoa picked a point in the wall to watch then continued "It started before that. It's like he doesn't want to be around me as much as he used to."

Did he ever make a point to hand around her? Zell said nothing but waited for Selphie to respond "I didn't notice." she said casually looking to Zell to see if he had.

Zell of course was trying not to laugh. He loved Rinoa like a sister but even he could tell that she and Squall just weren't compatible.

Rinoa sighed "I don't know," her eyes went back to Selphie "I mean, he's just changed...He spends time with Seifer now...I thought he hated Seifer."

Zell tensed once more and Selphie shrugged again "They grew up together, I doubt they ever hated each other."

"But why does Squall have to go to him when he has a problem. I'm the one who should comfort him!"

Selphie was beginning to feel uncomfortable herself. She was sure that if Rinoa got any louder she'd begin to attract the entire restaurant's attention, not that the tables around them weren't staring already. Perhaps she should have gone with the group after all.

After a slight groan Rinoa looked up once more. This time her eyes fixed on Zell "Do you know anything?" she asked hopefully.

Zell suddenly felt terrified. Why him? He should have expected this "No," he lied..quite badly in fact...

Luckily Rinoa didn't seem to notice. Instead she stood from the table, frightening their tray-baring waitress in the process, and stormed from the restaurant. Zell wasn't any less terrified than he had been only moments earlier.


	15. Insomnia

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. There were SATs to study for and competitions to practice for and school and -gasp-the dreaded writer's block. I hope this isn't too bad for such a wait. I must give you a warning though. I let someone read this ahead of time and it made them a little sick because of some description within. I don't think it's too bad but I thought it wise to give you fair warning.

There was a creak as the compartment door slid open. The silver haired young woman didn't bother looking to the entrance. They had just made another stop and the new passenger would more than likely only linger a moment before realizing that this compartment was occupied and move on to another one. Of course no sign of a closing door sounded and by the time she glanced over her the new passenger had already embraced her. One eye widened in surprise "WHO".

Suddenly the figure upon her pulled back, grinning "Fujin! You couldn't have forgotten me, ya know."

A pale hand went to straighten her eye patch and she looked upon the man before her in shock. His muscular physic and tanned skin did indeed look familiar "RAJIN". Suddenly the stoic young woman smiled and stood, throwing her arms around Rajin's neck.

Rajin, a bit surprised, managed to hug her back "Whoa, Fujin, I wish you were in such a good mood all the time, ya know?"

As though she'd done nothing, Fujin sat back down "DOOR" she nodded towards the still open passageway, which Rajin moved obediently to close.

"You going to Winhill to Fuj? Ellone died ya know," though he hadn't been that close to Ellone he said these last words with a bit of respect.

Fujin nodded "FUNERAL".

Sitting down, Rajin took a seat across from her, slouching slightly and putting his elbows onto his knees "Why are you going? You didn't really know Ellone either, ya know?"

Folding her arms over her chest, she crossed her legs then stated firmly, "SEIFER"

Rajin's grin surfaced once more "You think he'll be there too? They were in that orphanage together, I think he'll wanna be there, ya know?"

Again Fujin nodded "BE THERE" Her one eye focused on a point on the wall as she spoke, she clearly had no doubt in her mind that they'd be reunited at the funeral.

"I've missed Fu, ya know?" It was just like Rajin to change subjects so quickly, Fujin wasn't surprised at all and didn't bother responding. Rajin didn't mind so much "I've missed Seifer too, ya know? Things are boring alone, ya know?"

Fujin nodded, her eye going to watch the man across from her "Changing soon."

~^~^~^~

"I didn't think this thing had a kitchen,"

"It didn't" Squall took the tuper-ware container from the microwave and slid it to the other side of the bar, crossing around to take a seat.

"Well I'm glad he remodeled this place," Seifer followed Squall, tossing him a canned soft drink "From what I'd heard this place's interior sounded a bit like the D-district prison."

Squall frowned "I liked it," he said defensively, taking a bite of leftover pasta they'd found in the fridge.

Seifer only smiled at his words "You always were the strict, low-key, sterile room sort," he took a bite of pasta himself "Hm, this is good. Cooking run in your family or something?"

"How would I-wait, I'm not sterile...I mean..."

Seifer laughed but quickly recovered "I know what you mean and yes you are. Not a single decoration in your room...or your office..."

"There are pictures," Squall said almost under his breath.

"Baskets of flowers and cherubs?" Seifer rolled his eyes "Yeah, sure those were your decorative choices."

"Fine, Rinoa did all the decorating but hey, your room isn't exactly colorful either...just a mess..."

"My room's fine, don't change the subject."

"I didn't...I just shifted it slightly...." he grumbled though a faint smile showed as he spoke "Well...if I did have a say in decorations I might decorate..."

"Oh yeah?" Seifer swallowed the bite in his mouth "With what?"

Squall paused then shrugged "I don't know, maybe some photographs, darker pictures, not those happy bright, cheap love hotel prints." Seifer only rolled his eyes causing Squall to do the same "And what would you have me decorate it with? A pinup of you?"

Seifer grinned "Now that would be tasteful."

"Whatever," Squall quickly ate the last few bites of dinner and finished off the canned drink before going to clean up.

Seifer soon followed "When do you think they'll be back?" he asked almost lazily, tossing a can into the garbage and looking back to the brunette.

Squall shrugged "Probably a few hours if they get into conversation...and Rinoa's with them so...longer than that," he suddenly stopped cleaning, meeting Seifer's eyes

That look could mean no good. Seifer immediately frowned "What?"

"I'm going to go see Ellone's body." he answered in an almost deadpan tone, causing Seifer to throw him a startled look.

"What!"

"I'm serious," he frowned, moving past Seifer and starting towards the hallway "I want to see what this thing does to people. Maybe it'll give me some clues as to what's killing them."

"But-aw hell," Seifer hurried around the counter as well, moving after Squall quickly "I'm coming with you," he groaned. The other male actually seemed relived "Where are they keeping her?" 

"In the back I'm sure, where meat and the like would normally be stored...it would be the wisest way to keep a body fresh..." he had a bit of trouble getting that out but moved to the meat locker soon enough, opening the door "Keep it open, I'm not sure it can be opened from the inside or not."

"Fine," Seifer certainly wasn't thrilled with this idea but he stood, leaning against the freezer door just the same. Nervously he watched as Squall approached what seemed to be a body bag. The Ragnarok could travel a great deal faster than an ambulance and seeing as immediate family had asked, Ellone had been taken along. Of course no mortician had seen her yet but as Squall unzipped the plastic, bag he doubted anything would restore her to her old self. A thin layer of frost fell away as metal released, the zipper moving down completely before Squall released it.

Though any blood had long been cleaned away, this didn't change the level of dismay that came over Squall. Long scratches covered his big sister's hands and arms, though these seemed to be from the glass she had been carrying. Any other lesions in the skin looked as if she had been boiled or set on fire. Large, circular gashes, as if the skin had bubbled and burst. Her eyes, as any corpse's were open, however no vacant, faded hues stared back him. The eyeball's themselves were gone, the face almost completely hallowed out. Squall took all this in without breathing, managing to stumble back outside the freezer before falling to his knees and vomiting.

"Shit," Seifer winced and released the door before dropping down beside Squall "I told you not to look-" he took Squall's shoulders, trying to calm him down.

Squall didn't calm but at last the stomach contractions were forced to cease as only bile came to his throat "She-she was-" Squall put a sleeve to his mouth, suddenly feeling weak on top of everything else.

"Come on," Seifer looked away, pulling Squall into his arms and taking him into the bathroom "Here," he sighed, setting the brunette down in front of the toilet should he suddenly feel sick again. Quickly wetting a washcloth, he pressed it against Squall's forehead "Are you all right?"

Squall took a few deep breaths, slowly opening his eyes "Yes," he said weakly, wiping a few tears from his cheeks as he noted Seifer's worried expression 

Seifer watched him a moment longer then left the rag in Squall's hands before standing and leaving the bathroom "I'll be right back." He assured though it took him a while to get back.

"Did you see her?" Squall had closed his eyes once more, now leaning against the shower as he sat there.

"Yeah," Seifer was pale himself and went to sit next to Squall as the younger man looked up to him "I put everything back in order though so-"

"Do you know what happened to her?"

Seifer swallowed, looking back to Squall as he chose to press on the subject. He had been afraid of this "...Yeah..." 

Squall grabbed the other man's arm, his breathing quickening a second time "Well-" he urged. He had to know. Ellone had to be the last. 

Seifer shook his head reluctantly "I don't know what's doing it, not really. It's just that when I was unconscious...I ah-...Hell, Squall, I don't know what I saw," he suddenly appeared to be quit annoyed, standing and moving towards the door "Just, go to bed, you need to get some rest. The funeral's tomorrow and you're already in bad shape."

"Seifer!" Squall was furious. He knew what was going on and didn't even have the decency to tell him? Quickly he rose, grabbing Seifer's arm as the man started walking off towards the room he was staying in "Tell me!"

"There's nothing you could do, even if I did," Seifer yanked his arm away violently. This only angered Squall further, the smaller man throwing a punch that caught Seifer in the jaw "Hyne, Squall!" Seifer, stumbled a few steps back on impact and now had a hand to his mouth. The sight of blood on his fingertips reminded him that Squall was no weakling.

"My sister just died and you can't even tell me who it was!" Squall closed the distance between them once more

"Well, I definitely won't now," Seifer glared at him , straightening but not before provoking a shove from Squall, one that caused him to hit the steel wall at his back. With a second punch it was clear Seifer wasn't going to fight back. It was as if he felt guilty for keeping what he knew from Squall.

"Why won't you tell me!" another shove forced Seifer to slide to the floor, Squall quickly followed "If you don't tell me more people will die! Or some other idiot I know might figure this out and get himself killed!" He couldn't stand the thought of someone else he was close to dying...but..."Oh-" Squall pulled away slowly, dropping back on his knees "...You're afraid I'll get myself killed aren't you?..."

"Congratulations," Seifer muttered in a deadpan tone. He stood from the floor, wiping the excess blood from his face and making his way to the bedrooms.

Squall sat where he was for a moment longer. Hesitating, he went back to the bathroom, rinsing out his mouth, then washing off his face. He didn't know what to do. Sure he still wanted to know but...Seifer had only been concerned and...Squall got to his feet and made his way to the bedrooms. "Seifer-"

The blond looked up but didn't face him. Clearly he had just finished feeding the kitten because the purring feline was delicately placed back on the table as Squall spoke. Seifer however didn't respond, making his way to his bed and switching off the lamp.

"Seifer," he repeated, switching the overhead light on and going to take a seat on the other side of the bed. Seifer was on his side now, back to Squall, and his eyes closed. Squall only sighed, putting a hand onto the other man's shoulder and tugging as he pulled his own legs onto the bed. "I shouldn't have-" Squall stopped speaking as Seifer responded to the tug by going onto his back. Squall winced as he saw what he had down. Quickly he leaned to one side, grabbing a few tissue before saying anything more "I'm really sorry," he said a bit lamely, dabbing at the blood from a split lip "I just...I mean...she was my sister-and-I want her to be the last. No one else should die...I suppose I want revenge as well..."

"I know," Seifer raised a hand to take the Squall's wrist.

Squall crumpled the blood-stained tissue in his hand and averted his eyes "I didn't mean to...well, I suppose I did-but I shouldn't have..." his words trailed off again.

"It's fine."

Squall sighed at the tone of his voice. It clearly wasn't 'fine' "No...it isn't..." Tears came to his eyes again as he was suddenly overwhelmed with events. 

"Squall,"

The brunette looked back to Seifer in surprise as the other man wrapped his arms around him.

"It's fine," he repeated, pulling Squall down on top of him. The smaller man's arms wrapped around Seifer's neck and his head rested on the other's chest.

"Squall!" Rinoa's voice echoed down the metallic hallways, resonating over the bed and through their ears.

"Rinoa!" Squall hissed, climbing from Seifer quickly and rushing into the next room without hesitation.

Seifer winced, though it wasn't due to his split lip or bruised eye. He didn't move, listening as in the next room one greeted the other several pauses allowed for reasons Seifer was all too aware of.

~^~^~^~

Zell hurried up the stairs, the door opening and allowing him to enter as he approached. Quickly he scanned the room for any sign of Rinoa, quickly finding her seated at the bar with Squall. She clearly hadn't hesitated to make sure what had once been hers still was. Her lips were pressed to Squall's, her arms around his neck. She had every intention of taking this one step further, lips slipping down to his neck every now and then.

Zell looked away. Neither had noticed him enter...he saw little point in calling forth their attention...He knew Seifer was here, somewhere. The blond, young man, made his way down the hallway, to the first place that came to mind. Sure enough Seifer was lying on the bed. The light was on, as Squall had left it and Seifer was still watching the ceiling, listening to happenings in the next room. Zell sighed. The entire ship was like a megaphone, he could hear the two himself with the door open. Swallowing he closed the door after entering, blocking out the noises "Seifer?"

Seifer didn't answer immediately, waiting a minute or so before speaking "Yeah?"

Zell swallowed, suddenly feeling very awkward "You all right man?" his back was against the wall, as if he was still toying with the concept of leaving.

Again Seifer paused, at last sitting up a bit so that he leaned against the headboard though he still didn't look to Zell. He clearly felt a bit awkward himself, looking away even if there was obviously nothing to look at on the other side of the room "...Not really..."

Zell was struggling to find something to say when he noticed Seifer tense, a hand going to press against his eyes. He'd never seen Seifer like this. Hell, he never though he would! He hated the guy, right? Biting his lower lip for a moment he made his way over, taking a seat on the end of the bed "You...gonna be okay?..."

Seifer looked back Zell, lowering his hand. He had won for the moment though tears were still in his eyes "I-I guess...he really does love...her," his voice was strained, shaking a bit more with each word.

Zell met Seifer's eyes and shook his head quickly "I know he doesn't love her," there was confidence in his voice. He wasn't saying this simply to put Seifer at ease. He knew Squall didn't love Rinoa.

"...But he doesn't love me either.." Seifer's eyes lowered again, waiting for Zell's input.

Again the shorter man swallowed, thinking over the question before answering him "I...don't know..."

Seifer nodded then slowly raised his head again, a weak, sad smile coming to his lips "I'm never going to live this down am I chicken-wuss?"

Zell shook his head "Don't worry about it...I just can't believe it's come to this...Even if Squall doesn't love you. He doesn't have the right to treat you like this." Seifer's eyes rose to meet Zell's, surprised that he was the one saying this "I'm going to bed," Zell said casually, sliding off the end of the bed and going to shut off the lights. He was going back to the bed when the door opened again. Zell switched on the lamp.

"Hey," Selphie yawned, trudging towards the bed sleepily. She didn't bother to change in to pajamas, simply kicking off her boots and dropping onto the bed.

Following her lead, Zell only removed his shirt and shoes, pulling back the covers. Before he climbed into bed, Zell looked back to Seifer who was still sitting up "Try to get some rest, all right?" he offered, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder, going back to his bed and Seifer finally leaned back

The lamp went off once more and Seifer glanced to one side, watching as Selphie wrapped her arms around Zell's neck. Her head went to rest against his bare chest as she muttered a drowsy 'I love you'. Seifer squeezed his eyes shut and faced the opposite wall. He still couldn't sleep.


	16. If I Could See Me Now

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I know I'm a more than a little late with this update. I've been busy! I mean I had schoolwork, then graduation testing, then exams, then...er...a boyfriend. Now I have Summer school but since it is Summer I should be speeding updates up soon. Please review. I hope I haven't lost too many readers.

Blue eyes opened, fixing upon the ceiling lazily. He lie in confusion for several moments before realizing someone had woken him up "Hmm?" He raised two pale fingers, brushing the hair from his forehead then looked around.

"You're awake," Rinoa gave an approving smile, leaning down to kiss him.

It all came back to Squall then...Of course nothing had happened last night though they had shared the same bed...Then of course the funeral was today as well. Tensing slightly at the thought of never seeing Ellone again, Squall sat up only to be greeted by another kiss from Rinoa and an annoyed snort from across the room. Squall pulled away, looking two beds down to find Zell watching them. Selphie was still asleep at his side. Quickly he realized that the bed Seifer had been sleeping in was already made and its former occupant was nowhere to be found. He swallowed "Where's Seifer?"

This question didn't bode well with Rinoa but she hardly got a word in edgewise as Zell spoke up first "Hell if I know. He probably didn't want to wake the two of you," he threw Squall a meaningful glare, climbing from bed and gently waking Selphie.

A rush of guilt swept over Squall. It was obvious he had seen what was going on last night. Still dressed from the night before, the brunette slid from the bed, running to the door. He ignored the protests from Rinoa. At the moment he could care less as to what she thought.

Seifer sat on the outskirts of Winhill. He sat on a small area of rocks and grass, legs dangling over steep drop. It was still morning and the air around him cold and damp. The funeral was scheduled to begin in a few hours but he was still dressed in his signature black shirt and off-white coat. He'd left in a rush so his hair hadn't received that much attention, now a bit disheveled by the early morning breeze.

_So what if he doesn't love you? No one ever said he would. You're just getting soft. Three years ago you would of made fun of the loser sulking here like this. _He sighed and shook his head. _I've had plenty of girlfriends. None of them acted like this, _Seifer groaned, leaning forward to stare of the edge of the drop in frustration with himself _But I didn't love them did I? Hyne! You're such an idiot. You'll never have him and getting down about it doesn't do anyone any good. What if Fujin or Rajin could see you now?"_

"SEIFER!"

_The hell? _Seifer looked up to find Fujin running towards him, Rajin not far behind. Needless to say he was quite surprised...and beginning to ponder the likelihood of the brain developing a sixth psychic sense under extreme stress ..."What-"

Fujin dropped to her knees, wrapping arms around Seifer's neck and nearly knocking him from the drop off in the process.

"Ah!" Seifer was balanced out as Rajin hugged him as well, only to be smacked away by Fujin who quickly straightened "It's-ah-why are you guys here?"

The silver haired female took an important stance, feet together and hands clasped behind her back "FUNERAL," she nodded to Seifer, then to Rajin to confirm this.

"Ellone died, ya know? We knew you guys grew up together and we figured you'd be here. She wasn't a bad lady either, really nice, ya know?" Rajin moved to stand at Fujin's side.

Seifer smirked, standing himself "You two hardly knew her."

"WE DID."

"Well, she was nice ya know?...We never did really meet her though...I came here to try and catch you. I figured Fujin came for the same thing, ya know?" he stumbled as Fujin gave him a swift, angered kick.

Seifer watched, laughing. He really had missed these two. He'd forgotten how great it felt just to be part of his old gang again. Fujin however quickly changed the subject.

"BLACK EYE?" She arched a brow, nodding to Seifer.

Rajin frowned "Whoa, someone messed you up. They must've been really tough to do that, ya know?"

Seifer shook his head quickly "It was back at the garden, got in a fight at the training center," he shrugged, doing his best to smile once more "I guess magic just doesn't heal some things that well."

Rajin shrugged it off but Fujin didn't seem so easily convinced. She shook her head. It was clear that she knew the difference between monster attacks and the human fist. She seemed about to object when a shout interrupted her.

"Seifer!"

The three looked back to see Squall several yards away. He forced his way between Rajin and Fujin, sliding to a stop in front of Seifer "I-where-you-" he paused a moment catching his breath and sorting out his words.

Rajin was about to greet him but Fujin quickly slapped a hand over the other's mouth. She was too curious herself.

"What are you doing here?" Seifer looked the other over "It's cold out, you could at least put on shoes before you chased after me." No, he certainly didn't sound too thrilled to see him here.

Squall swallowed, it was cold out. Perhaps it would have been wise if he had planned this out more thoroughly "I was ah-" he glanced about awkwardly, becoming aware of the other two's presence "I was worried about you-"

"Mm," Seifer rolled his eyes "Never would have guessed."

"I'm serious!" Squall snapped somewhat angrily "Why can't you just get pissed like everyone else instead of vanishing in the morning?"

Seifer glared at the shorter young man "So what? You want me to take a cue from how you handled things last night?" he shook his head in frustration, facing the other way and moving back towards the ledge.

There was another pause as Squall tried to respond. Words failed him for the moment but-"Seifer-" he approached the other once more, putting one hand on his shoulder as he forced Seifer to face him. Two fingers brushed over the black eye delicately.

Fujin raised an eyebrow. Well this was...new...She glanced to Rajin, curious as to what he thought of the situation...Rajin however was looking elsewhere. He had long since lost interest. She shook her head, speaking up regardless "RELATIONSHIP?" Rajin looked over curelessly, trying to pick up on what she had meant by that.

Squall tensed, glancing back to Fujin "Ah-" his breathing quickened slightly, a change that Seifer soon noticed. He looked to his friends and was about to shake his head when- "I hope so," Squall looked back to Seifer with a weak smile. He bowed his head quickly, hands going to his sides, One hand lingered close to Seifer's left side, longing for the other to take it.

Seifer looked from his friends to Squall. Did it not matter that they were present? "Squall-" he began but the other took Seifer's hand himself, pulling the blond down so that he could kiss him.

Fujin smiled, shaking her head...Rajin however... "W-what's going on?"

Squall merely smiled, raising an arm and wrapping it around Seifer's neck. His expression became a bit more serious after a moment "I wanted to tell you I was sorry-"

"So if you don't mind these guys knowing does that count for-" Seifer allowed his words to trail off as he found the smaller man shying away "I guess not-"

"No-" Squall met the other's jade green eyes almost desperately, praying that they weren't angry "I mean...just give me time..."

"Hyne," Seifer released Squall, turning his back to him as he moved closer to the ledge "I've given you enough fucking time already. I'm sick of waiting for an answer...I'd expect this from anyone else...not you Squall."

Squall felt a pang of guilt shoot through him "Seifer...I'm sorry..." he didn't dare edge closer though something within willed him to.

"Yeah, you've been apologizing a lot lately," he would have said something more but the sound of someone approaching caused him to fall into silence. This was just as well. He felt sick, not much like forming words right now.

"Squall! There you are," it was Laguna's voice and Squall immediately turned to face his father. The older man came to a stop just before Fujin and Rajin, giving the two a look over before speaking to his son "The funeral is going to be postponed for a while. At least until tonight. Thought I'd give you the heads up-"

Squall nodded weakly, now for a combination of reasons "All right. Is there a reason?"

"Ah-" Laguna moved a bit closer to his son, speaking softly "Balamb seems to have called ahead. There are some doctors wanting to do an autopsy or something," he tried to keep his words casual but it was clear that he wasn't terribly fond of the idea.

"What!" Squall wasn't in any condition to keep his emotions in check right now but he managed to lower his voice "Isn't it obvious how she...died..."

Laguna winced "They just want to see if they can find anything that might help. I'm not thrilled either but if there's some chance they can find out what did this and how to stop it then it's for the best. Now I have to go make the arrangements to postpone all of this...so..." he gave his son a quick hug before nodding to the other three present and hurrying off.

"Hey, Squall-" Rajin was cut off once more by a quick from Fujin. An eye cut to Seifer as she tried to make out his response to all of this. He was still standing on the ledge with his back to the younger man. He hadn't moved whatsoever and Fujin's cool expression changed to a frown.

Squall tried to calm himself but this did little good at the moment he was almost a nervous wreck. This had all indirectly been his fault. If he hadn't treated Seifer as he had then he wouldn't be so angry right now, Ellone wouldn't have stayed behind that night, and now they wouldn't be...he couldn't bring himself to think of what was being done to his sister right now...

"Gonna be all right?"

The brunette raised his head at a touch to his shoulder and opened his eyes to find "Seifer?"

"Don't sound so surprised-" Seifer grumbled, wiping the other's tears away with a sigh "I'm not such an asshole. Don't get me wrong, I'm angry...you just never leave me with a convenient time to act that way..."

"Seifer-"

"Don't give me that-" The taller man quickly took Squall's hand and began to walk towards the airship with an air of annoyance "Let's just go. You can get some warmer clothes then we can...I dunno...take a walk or something."

Squall couldn't help but smile "Thank you Se-"

"Ah-" he was cut off by his companion who had come to a stop before Fujin and Rajin "You two are staying for the funeral, right?"

Rajin nodded meekly, an mindless expression extreme for even him. Currently his seemingly inhumanly small mind was playing host to matters of higher importance.

"Good-" without another word Seifer marched onwards reluctantly, pulling Squall along.

Fujin smiled, pale fingertips going to her lips to suppress a girlish giggle "Cute couple-"

Rajin looked over to the female at his side with a grin "Hey Fuj, I didn't know you could be feminine, ya know?"

The silver-haired females' smiled faded into its normal scowl and without hesitation she gave her friend an unusually sharp kick to the shins for old time's sake.

A/N: Short chapter, sorry. I just wanted to get this one out as quickly as possible. I promise you a long, quality chapter with my next update. Please don't be too hard on me. I promise things are going to pick up quickly. EH is past its halfway mark and happy anniversary to me! I've been working on this thing for nearly if not over a year. Has it been that long already? I get the feeling I've been wasting some serious time.


	17. Honesty's the Best Policy

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: It's a new chapter. I told you they would start coming sooner! I hope you enjoy. Let me also put in a plug for my new songfic 'Creep'. I adore hearing your opinions. I would also like to thank my beta reader, whether she knows she's one for this fic or not, Akai-chan. Thanks for reading this thing even when I'm aware that your not all that fond of the series.

"It's getting dark," Squall pointed out, looking over the trees the sun was slowly sinking into "We should be getting back soon. It looks like they're getting ready for the funeral down there."

They had avoided running into anyone aboard the airship as Seifer had simply gone in for some of Squall's things. No one had paid any attention save of course for Zell who was surprised to see Seifer without his shorter, slightly younger companion and in consequence asked a few questions. Now they were above the small town, having walked a large hill that leveled out into something of a forest. They had said nothing between then and now. Once the silence had been broken Seifer started slightly "Hmm?" He crept forward slightly and looked down to the earth below. Indeed there was a canopy out now and what seemed to be Selphie rushing too and fro, aiding her other half with the duty of bring out chairs "Yeah-" he nodded "Wanna go back?"

Squall hesitated but shook his head "No, not now, soon though," he moved back taking a seat against the base of an aspen. Seifer watched him sit but didn't follow, merely looking back out and into the distance.

"Hey...ah...Seifer-"

From the ledge Seifer turned at the sound of his own name "What?" his tone was even any sympathy or anger from before well hidden.

A pale hand patted the empty ground beside the tree "Sit over here?" Squall asked, there seemed to be something on his mind.

Seifer only shrugged but came to Squall's side just the same, sitting at the young man's side and stretching out his long legs "Well?"

"Well-" Squall sighed letting his torso go limp for a moment, allowing his head to fall against Seifer's shoulder "I know I've asked before but, ah-" his words trailed off and he groaned at his own current, jumbled state of mind.

"Mm?" Seifer raised a hand lazily, placing it to Squall's head and slowly running his fingers through his hair.

"You really are mad aren't you?" Mentally cursing himself for this entire ordeal, Squall kissed his companion's shoulder before beginning "When you were...well...attacked. Where were, that is what did-"

"I told you I didn't know," he snapped at first but immediately calmed his tone "It was just weird. If I had to compare it to something I would say time compression but that's unlikely of course."

"Was anyone else there?" Squall raised his head slightly though it was the question that caused Seifer to drop his hand away.

"I saw one person-" he shrugged "I had never seen them before. Something was holding on to him and well...I tried to help him but..." he shook his head "I woke up then. I had assumed it was a dream but then that student had died while I was unconscious and...hell...I don't know Squall. How about an easier question?"

"There's no need to act like that-" Squall grumbled, standing somewhat angrily now. Hands looped around his waist, however, forcing Squall to fall back onto Seifer's lap "Oof-"

"I'm the only on allowed to be mad right now-" Seifer smirked, turning Squall around sideways to face him.

"Seifer-" Squall couldn't help but smile, thankful to hear that familiar, sarcastic tone "I'll remember that from now on," Squall laughed, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around the other man's neck.

With a sigh Seifer kissed Squall lightly upon the lips then leaned back a bit once more "You had better. But right now I'm tired of being angry-"

"Ah-" Squall rolled his eyes though he continued to smile "I see," he moved one hand to Seifer's cheek then allowed it to slip down his neck, to the black fabric above his chest "So am I allowed to do anything I want again?"

"I suppose-"

"Good," he kissed Seifer then, a passionate kiss. It was passionate, causing Squall's heart to race and his pulse to quicken. It was better than the last and expelled any nagging thought of Rinoa from his mind for the time being. Soon he slipped his tongue from his mouth, forcing the kiss to deepen. Seifer of course was only too happy to comply and within moments any problems at hand were long forgotten. Much better, Squall mused. He felt so safe in Seifer's arms and he truly needed that right now. But- Better than what? He suddenly pulled away, much to Seifer's disappointment.

"What?" Seifer looked Squall over quickly. He immediately assumed it must be the upcoming funeral. Of course. It was more than a little tacky to do this just before saying goodbye to a loved one "Hyne, sorry Squall. We can go now. They're probably expecting you-" he began to stand but Squall quickly shook his head.

"No, that's not it," his look was a apologetic and he avoided looking at Seifer for as long as he could.

"Then what?" Seifer's expression was both quizzical and confused now. He sat once more and soon fear added itself to that equation as he found himself dreading what Squall would say next.

"Rinoa," he said slowly, wincing as he saw Seifer wince and begin to stand once more from the corner of his eye.

Seifer indeed was hurt by the mention of her name "Let's go."

"Wait!" Squall caught the man's wrist as he turned to move away. He couldn't just leave, not like this.

"What!" Seifer demanded, turning to Squall once more. His expression was hurt but also incredibly angry "I'm sick of this Squall! You know that. You could at least have the dignity not to mention her name when-" he grimaced pulling against the grip upon his wrist "I said let's go."

"Wait-" Squall repeated, rising to his knees. He kept a tight hold upon Seifer's wrist then slid it to his hand, lowering his head immediately. As Seifer began to move away once more he immediately pulled him back again, looking up desperately "I'll tell her!"

That certainly got his attention. Seifer's eyes widened at Squall's offer "You...what?..." his voice wasn't angry anymore but soon it was skeptical "When?"

"After the funeral," Squall said quickly, squeezing Seifer's hand in both of his own "I promise...I want to be with you Seifer...And it's wrong to lead either of you on- I- I'll tell her.."

"Squall," he smiled genuinely and pulled the other man up, hugging him with such force that Squall found himself off the ground for a moment.

Squall laughed slightly at Seifer's reaction though he was too nervous to be that happy. He put his hands to Seifer's shoulders, receiving a kiss as he did so.

He was about to pull Squall into yet another kiss but then something struck him "After the funeral?" Seifer checked again, watching thoughtfully Squall nodded "I'm definitely not complaining but isn't that bad timing?"

The small brunette shook his head though a bit slowly "Ellone would have wanted me to be happy. She didn't like what I was doing any more than you did and well...she wouldn't want me to continue that any longer than was necessary..."

Seifer kissed Squall's forehead, brushing some hair from the young man's eyes "And I'll make sure you're happy-" he laughed "You know I love you-" He only revived another slow nod and quickly Seifer clarified "As long as you're willing to tell Rinoa I don't mind whether you love me or not right now," that could come later "Now, let's hurry. We're probably late," Seifer released Squall then, hurrying down the hill only to find his hand caught yet again. He glanced back to find that Squall was merely following this time, a satisfied smile upon his lips as he allowed his lover to lead him along.

----

The funeral was coming to an end now. It had been a mostly silent affair, with several people speaking. For obvious purposes it had been close-casket. The coffin was now ready to be placed in a grave dug beside Ellone's mother. Squall sat next to his father during the proceedings, keeping his composure throughout the service. Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and the others were a row behind them and then some others Seifer didn't recognize. He currently stood in the back with Fujin and Rajin.

Seifer scanned the small crowd as things drew to an end. He was glad Rinoa hadn't forced her way to the front though he found a faint smile upon her face more than a bit curious "Let's get out of here," Seifer whispered the long-time friends beside him.

Fujin nodded and Rajin merely followed as their 'leader' strode off. They hadn't gotten very far when the sounds of people conversing as the made their leave sounded behind them.

"When I die I don't think I'd want everyone to be so depressed, ya know?" Rajin broke the silence at last, seemingly simply out of boredom.

Fujin quickly gave him a sharp quick for his rudeness "DON'T WORRY," she glared at him before walking on.

The muscular young man limped ahead with a hurt expression "Hey Fuj, that was harsh, ya know?" he faced Seifer as the man chuckled and entered the hotel they were staying at "Seifer, I was meaning to ask ya-" he followed at Fujin unlocked their room, allowing the three to file inside.

"Yeah?" Seifer stopped in the middle of the room, placing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Well, it was just this morning. I didn't know you were gay ya know?" he winced as Seifer smacked him upside the head this time "Use a little more tact huh?" he smirked "But yeah, I guess I am."

"So you're with Squall?"

Seifer shrugged "I guess so. Soon to be anyway. We have something anyway...Is that a problem?..."

Rajin paused thinking the matter over then quickly shook his head "No, I guess not. Just didn't see it comin', ya know?"

"LOVE?" Fujin smiled at her own assumption. The notion made a feminine sort of expression wash over her being and usually rigid mannerisms. It was a lovely, romantic thought.

Seifer smiled but nodded "I don't know about him but...I certainly am..." he took a seat on the end of the small twin bed mattress.

"You seem happy about this Fuj," Rajin was looking to the silver-haired female beside him with a look of confusion and amusement "I figured you'd be crushed. Thought you had a crush on Seifer, ya know?"

That certainly provoked a kick and Seifer to laugh aloud. He stood, heading for the door "I'm going to go pick up some dinner, all right?" he began to leave but paused "But Rajin, you're way off. I mean, from what I saw she always seemed to have a thing for you-" he pulled the door to a bit as a vase shattered against it "Just calling em' like I see them-" he closed the door completely now, still clearly finding all this terribly amusing.

"He right Fuj?"

Fujin looked over wide-eyed, her arm still in a 'launching' position. She opened her mouth to yell at him now but was interrupted before she could even begin.

"Well you wanna go out?"

She stood there like a dumfounded junior high student. The nerve of those two! How dare Seifer! How dare he! This was all so stupid. As if she had time for this. Did she look like the sort of person who was into flowers and beachside-strolls? Finally she dropped her arm and nodded.

----

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

Squall looked to Rinoa as she approached. He was currently standing at the outskirts of town. They weren't far given the town's size but they were definitely private enough. It was dusk now and getting somewhat colder. He nodded as she came to a stop before her "Yeah-" he said at last, clearly nervous.

Rinoa caught on to this and smiled "I have something I want to tell you too," she giggled, moving closer.

"Do you mind if I go first?" he had to get this off his chest of he would scream. It was truly driving him insane. Rinoa shook her head that same knowing smile upon her lips. It made him feel guilty, he wished she would loose it. Squall paused and thought things over. It was a full minute before he managed to piece his words together and that had been the longest minute of his life, not to mention the coldest "Hyne, I wish I had my jacket-" he said, more to himself than anyone else. He was about to begin when Rinoa squealed in delight.

"Oh, Squall, yes!"

"W-what?" Squall stood there wide-eyed and shocked. What had he said?

"I found it this morning, after you left-" she raised her hand so that Squall could see "It was in your jacket pocket.

Squall felt his heart skip a beat. Was that Seifer's ring? It...it was an engagement ring, obviously so...Was that...was that what she thought this was about!...

"Oh I love you Squall!" she flung herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

What was he supposed to say? He couldn't tell her now. There was only one thing to do at a time like this "I love you too."

A/N: Okay, I'm mean. But hey, look on the bright side. I'm almost finished. Only two or three more chapters to go and those should me coming out soon. Please review. I write for fun but I also write for feedback. I love hearing your opinions so keep them coming please.


	18. The Death of Two Lovers

Enigmatic Hatred  
  
By Shade  
  
"I need to get back," Seifer said after a glance to the clock. He'd been with Fujin and Raijin for some time now.  
  
"No one'll miss you, ya know?" Raijin frowned. He had regretted not having the whole gang together these last few years.  
  
"I'm sure someone'll miss me," Seifer snapped, standing and crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
Fujin glared to Raijin, coming back to sit on the bed after getting a drink from the mini fridge "SQUALL."  
  
"I'm sure other people miss me," Seifer frowned, making his way to the door.  
  
A smug, albeit innocent look was thrown his way "Kittens don't count, ya know."  
  
"Who asked you!...Wait...how do you know about the kitten?" he shook his head "Forget it, I'll see you two later," he slammed the door but couldn't help smiling to himself as he made his way down the hall. Things were going to change between Squall and he. It was late at night now. The streets were pitch black and Seifer could see his breath, crystalline before him. Hugging his trench coat closer he made his way to where the airship was docked. He wouldn't have to hide things anymore. Perhaps, after others got over the initial shock, he would even be treated differently. Not that it mattered as long as he had Squall.  
  
He was coming closer to the airship when a light came from the door. It faded quickly as whatever had opened it rushed towards him. Once the figure came close enough Seifer realized who it was "What's up with you?" he asked as the young man grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him back towards the town "The hell are you doing?"  
  
"You really don't want to be in there," Zell said, doing his best to tred carefully around the bad news for now. He didn't want Seifer to do anything rash "I mean there was just a funeral and...ah...it's really a family thing."  
  
Seifer didn't buy that for a minute of course. He dug his heels into the ground, refusing to go any further "I'm sure half the ship is asleep by now. I'll just go to bed," he started forward again but the door opened again, staying open to reveal Selphie's silhouette "Zell hurry up!" he shouted, jumping from foot to foot with excitement "You're missing the party!"  
  
"Party?" Seifer echoed under his breath, a confused and somewhat annoyed look on his face "They're having a party after a funeral?" had Squall told Rinoa what he had promised he would? "Is Squall even in there?"  
  
"Yeah," Zell said slowly then looking up to Selphie "I'll be back in a little while! Go on all right?" Selphie hesitated but bobbed her head once before the door shut again. The shorter man beside Seifer swallowed. He knew that the other wasn't going anywhere until he had an explanation but an explanation would only cause him to charge in there like an idiot "Why don't you stay with Fujin and Rajin for the night?"  
  
"I want to see Squall," Seifer countered quickly, giving Zell a warning look before walking towards the airship once more.  
  
"They're getting married!" his voice was rushed. Seifer paused to decipher the words and it took even longer for them to completely register. He was frozen for a solid minute before he faced Zell again.  
  
"No," he shook his head, a nervous smile on his face "Squall was going to tell Rinoa about us. He wouldn't have asked her to marry him," though he had of course had his reservations about this before Squall wouldn't be so cruel as to go and do something like that. It didn't make sense. He didn't love Rinoa.  
  
"He popped the question after the funeral," Zell allowed his eyes to stray away from Seifer's "They're engaged now....Seifer!..."  
  
Seifer had taken off towards the airship. He wouldn't believe a word of it until Squall told him himself. The door opened as he approached and he began to shout long before his eyes adjusted to the light "Squall! Where the hell are you!" the ship became deathly silent. There had been laughter before but now everyone looked up, surprised. Laguna was sitting with Kiros, Ward not far behind. Irvine was beside Petunia and Quistis with one arm draped over her boyfriend's shoulders. Selphie was standing beside Rinoa who had been showing off her ring before Seifer had entered. Squall was nowhere to be found.  
  
He didn't pause long for his eyes adjusted enough to catch Rinoa and the ring on her finger. Marching forward he snatched the young woman's wrist before she could react "That's-" the ring was his. He had given that to Squall! Why did she have it now?  
  
"Let go!" Rinoa shrieked, attempting to pull her arm free "You're hurting me!"  
  
Seifer didn't release her but he did look to the side as Squall came into the room. He caught sight of the other from the corner of his eye and now that he looked at him directly he realized the shock on his face. Perhaps regret as well? He didn't get a chance to look long as Rinoa struck him with her free hand. There was force behind that blow and it certainly brought Seifer back to his senses...somewhat...Remembering he still had hold of the girl's wrist he released her. She wasn't the one he was angry with "What the hell's going on Squall!" he crossed the room, closing the distance between he and his lover.  
  
Squall's eyes were wide as he was slammed into the wall, Seifer's arms pinning his shoulders against it "You're marrying her? You don't fucking love her!" The rest came as something of a blur. Squall never got a chance to answer as Seifer felt several hands pull him back. He struggled of course, pulling away "Let go of me! This is between me and Squall!" he growled and lashed out, feeling his fist connect with someone. He was slammed to the ground then. Gloved hands flattened themselves against the cold floor and pressed upwards. He did his best to stand but that proved useless as he was struck down. Within minutes he had stopped his struggling, curling up on the ground instinctively. He was too sore to struggle anymore. His nose and mouth were bleeding, his ears were ringing, and at the moment all he wanted to do was catch his breath.  
  
There was the vague, muffled sound of people talking in the background. He wished Rinoa would stop screaming at him. He was in enough pain already.  
  
"What's the matter with him?" he recognized the voice as Irvine's.  
  
"You used to date him Rini didn't ya?" Selphie now "It's obvious he's jealous right?"  
  
Jealous? Ha! He'd had Rinoa and he hadn't missed her once since they'd parted ways. He had been jealous when she became involved with Squall but that was a different matter all together.  
  
"Not much of a man to go about that sort of thing this way." He wished that Irvine would just stay the hell out of this. He didn't know the first thing about what was going on. No one ever would.  
  
"Is that it?" at least Rinoa had lowered her voice "Squall, is that what's going on?" Rinoa was piecing it all together in her mind. Of course! It was all so obvious now. Squall and Seifer had been together to battle it out over her "Squall?"  
  
Seifer curled up tighter. Part of him didn't want to listen to his response. Silence was all that filled the room however. Several metallic rings and nothing more for some time. Would Squall even answer? Just as Seifer began to relax a familiar voice spoke up "Mm hmm," an unseen nod went with the voice. Seifer didn't need to see the motion to know it was present.  
  
"Fucking bastard," he growled, spitting out blood and climbing to his knees. He wavered slightly and though there was some blood blocking his vision he did make out Irvine pulling back a punch. One hand rose to catch it though the force knocked him off balance "I'm trying to leave," he managed after falling back against the Ragnorak's wall. He saw the crowd around him step back after his words. Though he couldn't make out any particular faces at this distance he was sure Squall wasn't among them. He was certainly close by though. Seifer pushed up against the wall in his attempt to stand. Someone grabbed his shoulders, helping him to his feet. Recognizing the man as Zell he shoved him away once he was standing and braced against the wall.  
  
"Zell!" Selphie grabbed her boyfriend's arm, pulling him back.  
  
Seifer managed a smirk as he moved slowly towards the door. He had always been feared or hated and now he was being treated like some wounded animal that shouldn't be helped for fear it would turn. Of course he had already attacked hadn't he? Seifer laughed mirthlessly, leaning against the doorframe as he waited for it to open completely "You can have the traitor Rinoa," was all he said before moving out the door and vanishing back into the night.  
  
He wanted to tell them to stop. This wasn't Seifer's fault. He wanted to tell Seifer to calm down. There was no chance of that. The entire room seemed to be closing in on him along with everyone in it. Laguna had pulled Seifer away with the aide of Rinoa and Irvine. In retaliation Seifer had struck out, hitting Laguna. Though Laguna remained calm everyone else certainly didn't. Irvine and James made sure he stayed down as Rinoa ordered him to stop. He had 'ruined' the best night of her life, the least he could do was let them be now. Squall doubted Seifer heard a word of it and when the beaten man curled up and stilled he feared the worst.  
  
James delievered one last kick for good measure but it was clear Seifer had had enough.  
  
"Will all of you back off!" Quistis scolded , grabbing her boyfriend's collar and pulling him back.  
  
Selphie crept forward ever so slightly, looking him over "Is he alive?"  
  
Squall held his breath at the question. Of course he was, right?  
  
The cowboy nodded "Yeah, he'll be fine, sore for a good while but fine."  
  
Squall came a few steps closer but that was as far as he dared go. The room soon buzzed with conversation, all of which he blocked out. He wanted to tell them all the truth before this was taken any further. His mouth opened as if he were going to speak but only his breath caught as he came to his senses in time to catch the current conversation.  
  
"You used to date him Rini didn't ya?" Selphie still wore a worried look upon her face "It's obvious he's jealous right?"  
  
"Not much of a man to go about that sort of thing this way."  
  
"Is that it?" Rinoa looked to her fiancé "Squall, is that what's going on?"  
  
Hyne, no. Squall's eyes were still wide, he was still pressed up against the wall, and his mouth was still open. He hadn't even managed a breath for some time now. What was he to say? No, it wasn't true. Seifer loved him. He was sure he could care less about Rinoa. But it he said yes...If he said yes there would be some explaining to do...If he explained that would be taking back his proposal. Though he had never meant to do such a thing in the first place it wasn't appropriate to break that now. Not with his friends and father so happy "Squall?"  
  
Squall lowered his eyes. You don't love Seifer, you don't. It would be a dissapointment to everyone if you did. It was lust, not love. You only stayed with him for pleasure, some hedonistic impulse. To error is human Seifer took advantage of you. No one need know that you were that weak once. There are more important matters at hand "Mm hmm," he nodded.  
  
"Fucking bastard,"  
  
His eyes widened again as he saw Seifer rise. He wasn't in any shape to get far but he still had his instincts and caught the punch Irvine threw at him. Squall watched as his former lover slid down against the wall "I'm trying to leave."  
  
Squall watched him struggle from a distance as the others backed away towards him. Zell had been watching helplessly from the door until now. He was sure Squall would have intervened earlier and now he waited for the same man to help Seifer up. Zell could only stare at Squall in shock. Within moments the other had met his friend's gaze but quickly looked way. The blonde only shook his head and moved forward himself. As gently as he could he helped Seifer to his feet, wincing as Seifer grimiced and leaned against the wall. It didn't take long for some sort of recognition to come and for Zell to be shoved away. Zell didn't dare aide him again, not that he could once Selphie took a hold of his arm. "You can have the traitor Rinoa."  
  
It felt as if his heart had stopped beating beneath his breast. He'd given up. It was really that easy wasn't it? Squall pressed himself up against the wall again. Seifer had probably never loved him at all. Maybe he just wanted an occasional fuck, some respect, his name cleared. Maybe it was easier to believe that. Regardless Squall rushed back to the bedrooms. The kitten mewed as he entered but he didn't notice. He threw himself down on the bed and buried his face in a pillow.  
  
He was crying as Rinoa came quickly to sit beside him but she didn't notice "He didn't hurt you did he?"  
  
"I'm fine...I just need to think..." came his muffled reply. He was shocked he could form words at all right now.  
  
Rinoa nodded "All right," she said slowly, sure something was wrong "I only love you, you know. I would never choose a jerk like Seifer over you," when that didn't seem to coax him up she merely kissed the back of his head "I'll be along soon, all right?"  
  
Hours came and passed, slowly everyone retired, and still Squall remained awake. Rinoa came to lie beside him, staying close and willing him to embrace her before she soon drifted off. Squall cried until he fell asleep. He had gone to bed while the night was young and finally been claimed by sleep when it had long since died. Sometime between then he decided that he hated Seifer Almasy. 


	19. Hatred's Prelude to Tragedy

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: In response to my reviews:

the dj experiment: Whether Seifer was possessed or not is debateable. They never actually say he was and many people have differing opinions. I might be wrong about Edea though I can't see how she wasn't. That was certainly my take on the game -;;.

chibicherrychan: I hate Rinoa. Is it that obvious…sorry…She just got in the way during the game for me -.-. Stood in the way of their relationship even then.

NightShadow131: That could just be the best compliment I have ever received even if you didn't mean for it to come off that way. You read my fic in one sitting? I've done the same of course but someone wasted three straight hours of their life reading my fic? My, my the ego boost.

Please keep reviewing! I appreciate all my reviews…save of course for flames…Keep the criticism constructive.

The days had flown by and now that the week was over Fujin was due back at her garden. The days seemed to drag on there. How was it that when she was finally enjoying herself time seemed to work all the harder to catch up? It simply wasn't fair. Currently she sat at the end of her bed. Having packed her things before Rajin woke she was simply taking her time to reflect.

She and Raijin had slept in the same room though in separate beds of course. Fujin barely let him kiss her let alone do anything more. Raijin knew better than to argue. Now he was sleeping soundly. She looked over momentarily and smiled. Her pride was valuable to her but things had gone well aside from how stubborn she was with any idea of romance.

She had never had…well…a boyfriend before and now that she was dating, well, it was quite nice. She was actually thankful Seifer had said something though she would never admit to it. Wait, Seifer? Fujin blanched. They had forgotten all about him in these last few days. Surely he hadn't gone back to him garden without bidding him goodbye. Standing she rushed to the window. She could vaguely make out the outline of the Ragnarok in the distance and the young woman breathed a sigh of relief but couldn't calm herself. Something didn't feel right.

"Fujin?"

She looked back to find Rajin propped up on his elbows. He had just woken and at the moment seemed somewhat concerned by her troubled expression "SEIFER."

Raijin jumped up and rushed to the window "Oh, good the air ship's still there. Don't do that. You had me worried, ya know?"

Fujin went to pull on the blue jacket she had left near the door "I want to see him Raijin. I am worried."

He nodded, studying her closely. When Fujin actually went to the trouble of using whole sentences what she had to say was generally well worth listening to "What's wrong Fuj?"

She shook her head as she buttoned her jacket, leaving the collar open "I don't know. Seifer should have come to visit us by now."

"You miss him?"

Fujin looked to Raijin, noting the somewhat nervous expression upon his face "Of course," she gave him one of her rare smiles as she approached "I missed both of you before now. We were a team," she placed a pale hand to Raijin's tanned cheek "I love both of you, Seifer's like a brother to me. We should have gone looking for him before now."

"You love him like a brother?" Raijin smiled "What does that mean you love me like Fuj?"

She drew her hand back quickly, scowling once more "IDIOT," she headed towards the door again.

"C'mon Fuj!" he called as she left "I'm worried about Seifer too ya know! Wait up!" snatching his vest from the night stand he hurried after her.

Seifer had left Winhill that night and used what money he had on him to by boat tickets. Now he sat on one of the lower levels, lying back on one of the sofas. The ship was empty despite several other people and they were above deck. It was doubtful they would come down here. He was relieved that he could be alone, barely think straight as it was. He didn't want to worry about others seeing him in this condition. There had been enough stares when he had limped aboard. Though he looked considerably better than he had the night before, both eyes were black, one swollen. He had a split lip and quite a few bruises. His limp also gave one the impression that a few ribs had been broken. Not that any of this was affecting him half as much as what Squall had said…or rather didn't say…

He winced. The mere thought of it made him feel sick. He hadn't had a chance to truly think about things until now and he almost wished he was still only angry "Squall," a gloved hand covered his eyes. Damnit, he should have never fallen in love. He had been a fool for believing this would work out. It was doubtful anyone could have such strong feelings for him after everything he had done but his life-long enemy love him? Ha. He was an idiot. Now he had to move on. Squall was going to marry Rinoa and there was nothing he could do concerning the matter. Go back to hating Squall.

'You never _hated _him.'

"What do I know?" he growled, rolling over on his side despite the pain. It actually managed to calm him at least away from the point of tears. Despite this he still couldn't help but think about Squall. Without him things would go back to the way they had been. His eyes widened. That thought was unbearable. He wished Squall had never come back into his life. That bastard had done his best to change things for the better. He had given him happiness and now he had snatched it away. Seifer had fallen back down to the miserable life he had lived before and now, if possible, he had slipped even lower. If Squall had felt anything for him he wouldn't have let something like this happen. He would have at least let Seifer down easier, right? This wasn't fair. He felt tears coming to his eyes. How could he! Everyone he cared about was taken away. At least Fujin and Raijin hadn't had a choice. But that was a different sort of companionship...How was he supposed to go on living without Squall?...

"BITCH!"

"Woah Fuj, calm down," Raijin had lifted his girlfriend off the ground and had just managed to drag the struggling female out of the Ragnarok. Well that had gone well hadn't it? After going to the airship to look for Seifer they hadn't been greeted with open arms. That was when Rinoa had accounted for what had been done to Seifer. Needless to say Fujin's resolve had been lost and before Raijin could restrain her, she landed one good punch to Rinoa's jaw.

Fuijin was shaking now, furious that she was being restrained.

"You're the brains remember? Ya gotta keep your head ya know." Raijin released her once they were a reasonable distance from the air ship. Fujin only took a deep breath and slowly nodded.

"SORRY," she closed her eye and smoothed back her hair. Within moments she was calm once more.

"We don't have to go back to our gardens just yet ya know?" he began slowly "I never really had much interest in becoming a SEED anyway. I'm going to head to Balamb. If I don't stay long they probably won't notice."

Fujin looked up and nodded again "I'M COMING."

"I knew you would," Raijin took the pale, young woman's hand "You miss the old days as much as I do."

Another nod and she was headed back towards their hotel room. It was still early morning and her bags had been packed before hand. They would leave this afternoon. Seifer needed them, she was sure of it.

"What's wrong with you?" Selphie frowned, tapping Zell's chin and trying to coax her boyfriend to look upwards. It was afternoon and night was falling soon. Selphie had planned a proper part for Rinoa and Squall before they were forced to return to Blamb Garden the next morning.

Zell looked up reluctantly and merely shrugged "I dunno," he lied sulkily "I just don't feel well Selphie, you guys go on without me."

Selphie's frown deepened "But I want you to come," she insisted "You look fine to me."

"Sorry," he responded irritably, standing and moving into the bedrooms.

Selphie didn't follow; she knew that was where Squall was changing.

"Ah!" Squall looked up startled and quickly pulled on his white dress-shirt completely. Realizing it was Zell he quickly turned the other way.

He didn't say anything at first, merely sitting upon the edge of the bed nearest him. At last he broke the awkward silence "You know…I'd really be the last one to say this…I mean, I can't stand the bastard…But this isn't right man…"

Squall winced but quickly banished the pain from his face as he faced his friend "That was the wrong way to go about things…but it would have happened eventually…I don't love him."

Zell didn't seem convinced "You love Rinoa?"

He hesitated before answering and the best he could really come up with was a shrug "Rinoa loves me. She's kind and…well…

"The kind of girl your daddy and everyone else expects you to marry," Zell finished dully.

Squall frowned but continued as if nothing had been said "Seifer's not really the sort of person you settle down with. We slept together, not much more than that. But…he's…"

"Embarrassing, too risky to be involved with, a guy?"

"Who's side are you on anyway?" Squall snapped "I thought you were my friend. You said yourself that you didn't like Seifer."

"I like him more than you right now," Zell mumbled under his breath and lay down on the bed.

Squall was clearly stuck by the comment. It was true, deep down even he couldn't stand himself right now "What would you have me do Zell? Take back my proposal to Rinoa?"

Zell sighed. He loved Rinoa, she was a good friend. He didn't want her hurt either…but…"I'm not you Squall. I only know half of the story. You know what's right better than I do."

There was another long, drawn out silence before Squall pulled his coat on "I wish I did," he muttered, before crossing the room and leaving completely.

Zell groaned and leaned his head back to meet a soft mew from the pillow "I don't know," he sighed, he reached over a picked up the small kitten, placing it on his chest "Who do you blame?"

"We've sent students home," Edea said, taking a seat on the sofa in her husband's office. She was beginning to show her age. With such stress upon her it was no surprise that she constantly seemed tired now "At least those who have a home."

Cid nodded, standing from his desk and moving to sit beside her "Most of our students don't have homes," he seconded "What about the autopsy?"

Her expression saddened "Ellone's hands were cut by the glass she had dropped. The blood they found was coagulated. She didn't bleed until she was dead…in other words not until she was out of the coma state the others were in…"

"So that means it is as we had feared," he sighed but didn't wait for an answer before continuing "Do you know what can be done yet?"

"I'm afraid not," she smiled sadly "By all reason it cannot be destroyed. We could abandon this place but then it would no longer be contained…But we cannot put the lives of our students in danger either…"

"I suppose either way this is the end of Blamb Garden," Cid seemed angry now but Edea made no effort to calm him. He had every right to be angry.

"We've been through worse," she said at last. She wasn't sure she believed her own words. They had lost so many. More had died and the SeeD patrols were doing no good. They couldn't. Now they were merely to keep the remainder of students left from worrying.

Cid shook his head "I don't know what to do," he admitted, looking over to meet Edea's eyes. She smiled reassuringly and kissed him. It was clear she had her doubts as well.

It had taken them several days to get to Balamb Garden without the aide of an airship. Surely Squall was back by now. Clearly that was also what Seifer had hoped when Fujin knocked on his door. She noted how the hope in his eyes rushed away as he saw his two old floors at the door instead of a certain former lover.

"SEIFER," Fujin put her foot in the door before he could close it. Her hardened expression had melted to one of worry as she looked him over. He looked as if he were deathly ill. He'd lost weight and looked almost nothing like his former self.

"The hell are you two doing here?" he did his best to at least sound as if this wasn't affecting him but even his tone was sad and slightly weak.

"Fujin was worried, ya know," Raijin looked Seifer over as well, looking up just in time to catch a glare from the woman beside him "…Well…we were both worried."

"You'll be in trouble if they catch you," Seifer left the door open as he walked away. Fujin took this as an invite and entered, Raijin not far behind.

"He's not worth it," Fujin said as the door closed behind her. Nothing was worth seeing Seifer like this.

"What do you know?" Seifer snapped, entering his bedroom. He lowered his voice as he took a seat on the mattress "I've tried to forget about him…but I love him…I still fucking love the little bastard. Who do I have without him?"

"Well," Raijin scratched the back of his head. He wasn't used to these sort of situations and felt awkward in them "You have us, ya know," he sighed, relaxing a bit as Fujin nodded in approval. Seifer doubled over, covering his face with his hands. He did have his friends. He could leave the garden with them. There was nothing for him here after all. As he looked up Raijin was given a start. Tears were in their leader's eyes. He had never seen Seifer cry. He had assumed such a thing impossible. Fujin was surprisingly more understanding and Raijin merely stood back as she sat down beside Seifer and wrapped her arms around him.

"Fuck," Seifer grumbled, attempting to pull away although he found himself considerably weaker than usual "This is humiliating."

Raijin had gone to find something for dinner. He resolved on cooking something simple, which was nothing more than meat and rice "You want some dinner?" he asked, entering the bedroom again. He looked to Fujin who nodded. She was still sitting on the bed, holding onto Seifer though now he was asleep and partially in her lap. Raijin winced "Is he sick?"

Fujin carefully shifted Seifer back onto the bed and stood "Something like that," she said softly, looking to Seifer once more before ushering Raijin back into the living room.

"All because of Squall huh?" Raijin had a sad expression upon his face. Who was he supposed to look up to now? He wanted the old Seifer back. Fujin nodded once more and Raijin swallowed nervously "Will he get over it?"

"I hope so," she sounded incredibly doubtful "…Seifer's nothing now…and it's all Squall's fault."

Raijin had never seen Fujin so furious but even he could relate. If he saw Squall again he certainly wouldn't be able to restrain Fujin…or himself for that matter…

Squall walked along the halls, late that night. Soon he would be going on patrol but right now he had something to attend to first. The kitten was cradled in his arms, playfully batting at his shoulder as he hurried along. Rinoa had all but insisted he get rid of it…more politely than simply saying this of course but she had forced him all the same…Angelo had no intention of sharing his master's room with a feline regardless of how small she was.

He had resolved to see if Seifer wanted the kitten. This would also give him an opportunity to apologize though he certainly wasn't looking forward to the confrontation. He found the room quickly and easily, shifting the kitten to knock lightly on the door.

Inside Fujin and Rajin were fast asleep on the floor, a makeshift pallet of blankets and pillows beneath them. Seifer was just waking up. Hearing the knock on the door he silently made his way through the living room. Opening the door his eyes widened momentarily in shock then he quickly moved from his dorm room, closing it behind him. He didn't want to wake Fujin or Raijin. This was between Squall and he.

Squall found it harder to speak than he had originally planned. He saw the hopeful look in Seifer's eyes and felt his heart sink "Are you all right?" he asked, doing his best to hide the concern in his tone. His clothes were indeed looser on him than Squall remembered. There was also a sad expression on his face. It looked as if he had been crying. Squall certainly wasn't familiar with this side of Squall. It made him feel guilty

"Well?"

As Seifer spoke up it drew Squall's eyes up to meet the other's "Oh," he said softly, realizing that he had been silent up until now "I, ah, was wondering if you would mind taking care of her," he held out the kitten. Her eyes had opened completely by now and she had no problem connecting Seifer with one of her first blurry visions several days before. The kitten mewed happily even though Seifer seemed disappointed.

"That's all?" he asked, his tone more desperate than angry.

Squall hesitated, looking down for a moment "I wanted to apologize as well," he said slowly, forcing himself to look back up "What I did was cruel...I really am sorry..."

"…Are you still…" Seifer couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence and instead reached out and took the kitten instead, opening the door momentarily and setting it inside.

Squall also seemed hesitant to continue that train of thought "…going to marry Rinoa?..." he didn't wait for a response in the affirmative before nodding "I proposed to her. After the trouble here has died down we're going to have a ceremony in Deling."

"But you don't love her!" Seifer shouted now. He wasn't sure of much anymore but he was sure Squall wasn't in love with Rinoa.

"How do you know!" Squall responded, a little angrier than he'd intended to sound. This was hard enough for him as it was. He didn't need Seifer making it any harder "I do love Rinoa!"

Seifer seemed angry now and took a step forward, clearly frightening the shorter young man before him "When we slept together you said-"

"I said I thought I loved you!" he finished, surprised by his own nerve "It was lust if anything. I never loved you and I never will Seifer. I'm marrying Rinoa, that's the end of it. I can here to apologize but if you're not going to accept anything I'm saying then-"

"Hell Squall, if you suddenly hate me just say it," Seifer's cool was back now though it was certainly just a front "You love me more than you love Rinoa. You were going to tell her about us the night you 'proposed' to her. It doesn't make any sense Squall. You're not the sort of person to sleep with someone without any sort of feelings for them what-so-ever. You have to feel something for me."

Squall was sick of this "You can't just decide what I feel. Maybe I do hate you."

Seifer was taken aback for a moment. He froze but managed to smirk. At least he hadn't lost that "You think you feel a lot of things though. Commit to one or the other Squall."

"Fine!" he met Seifer's eyes again; this time his own were furious and piercing "I do hate you! I don't know what I was thinking when we slept together. I was venerable then. My sister had just died."

Seifer backed up against the door now as if Squall had suddenly placed the gunblade in hand to his chest "But before-"

"Before I felt sorry for you," Squall said quickly. He'd come up with an excuse for everything "For all I know you are the one killing the students. At least helping whatever it is anyway. It wouldn't be the first time. You're nothing but-" he reeled back as Seifer punched him. Squall raised his gunblade in retaliation "Trying to prove my point?" he asked, rubbing his jaw as Seifer took a step back "You always did handle things this way," his fingers touched his scar before falling away. When no answer came he looked back to Seifer. The blonde had seemingly crumbled to the ground in defeat. Squall regretted saying anything. He'd meant to apologize. This wasn't his fault. Seifer had brought it on himself. Yes, he was sure, at least in his mind that he now hated Seifer but even so he knew his words had been out of line. His lips parted as if to form an apology but instead he merely watched Seifer a moment longer, his jade green eyes refusing to meet the now icy blue of his former lover's. Had what he said really had this harsh an effect? He didn't allow his mind to dwell on the matter. Casting Seifer one last, passive look, he vanished around the corner of the hallway.

"SEIFER," it was Fujin's voice that spilled out as she cautiously opened the door. Raijin was right behind her, startled to find Seifer collapsed against a wall. The blonde got to his feet quickly, rushing into the dorm room. The kitten padded after him in confusion though she was the only one to follow. Fujin and Raijin didn't have to guess what was going on "UNFORGIVEABLE," Fujin ran in the direction she had last heard footsteps. Raijin closed the dorm room door, shaking his head. How had things ever come to this? He still followed without much hesitation and a crossing a hallway brought him to Fujin.

Squall stopped as the female's fingers closed around the back of his SeeD uniform collar. He faced her, his expression empty as he waited for her to speak first.

"What did you say!" she demanded, catching Squall slightly off guard by using a complete sentence. She'd been talking more these last few days. She hadn't been given much other choice.

"I told him the truth," Seifer didn't pull away and managed to keep eye contact "I told Seifer that I hated him."

This caused Fujin's concentration to waver. How could he be so cold? He had been near emotionless before but never this cruel. This couldn't be the real Squall. Surely it was just an act. He was trying to fool her, Seifer, everyone including himself. She shook her head "You don't mean that." He attempting to pull away but Fujin held fast "You may not love Seifer…but you certainly don't hate him…"

Squall's resolve was wearing thin and he pulled away from Fujin, violently this time. She stumbled back as he pushed her but Raijin was only a few steps back. He caught the young woman with one arm and struck Squall across the face with the other. It was instinct that caused Squall to draw his gunblade in retaliation and though he had no intention of using it that did not stop him from using the weapon as a shield when Raijin attempted to punch him again.

The young man quickly pulled his hand back again, placing a palm over bloodied knuckles after striking steel. Fujin had recovered by then and was too furious to restrain herself. She tackled Squall, knowing he wouldn't dare attack her as she had no weapon. Indeed Squall moved the gunblade to one side and dropped it as she tackled him. His breath left in a sharp hiss as his head connected with the ground. There was no time to take another breath, Fujin climbed on top of him and pinned him down with her knees. Without a second thought she punched him. The fight didn't take long to escalate though not by much. Squall rolled over and they switched positions several times before he remembered Raijin. He would had no chance of winning with Raijin here. As his confidence faltered so did his strength and Fujin found her way back to the top. Squall's eyes widened instead of closing in preparation for another strike. If Raijin was here now why wasn't he helping? Fujin couldn't take Squall on her own; he knew that much for a fact. But Raijin hadn't stepped so much as uttered a syllable for that matter. That was when darkness moved in his blurred range of vision. Fujin punched him again but didn't manage to repeat the motion before he could raise his head "Raijin!"

The female on top of him froze, pulling back her arm and spinning around. Indeed a familiar mass of darkness was only a step away now. It loomed over them both, casting a sickening sensation over both she and Squall in favor of shadow. But Fujin wasn't concerned with the creature at that moment. Her good eye scanned the hallway and soon fixed upon Raijin. He lie only a yard or so away, motionless on the floor. Though he was on the other side of the creature it wasn't hard to make out his body through the hazy mist that created the thing between them. She pushed off from the floor in the direction of Rajin but stopped centimeters short of tearing through his attacker as Squall caught her arm "Don't!" he managed, scrambling to his feet attempting to run away. Raijin was in a coma at best. He knew there was nothing they could do for him and nothing they could do to defeat this thing for that matter. The best he could do was to get Fujin and himself away. "Rajin!" it wasn't her normal, stoic, one word reply and Squall winced at the agony in her voice.

"We've got to get out of here!" Squall put his weight against hers and Fujin was forced to stumble after him. He even managed to get her to the end of the hallway until her pale hand slid from his own "Damnit!" he cursed, running back after her as she darted back towards the creature. Fujin had been away from the garden for a long while now and knew next to nothing about this thing though she clearly knew enough not to touch it. Squall held his breath as Fujin dove past its side, tumbling behind it. She rolled to a stop, getting to her feet though she didn't straighten before rushing to Rajin and fastening her arms around his chest. Squall gave a short lived sigh of relief and followed after her again. The darkness had yet to move, as if it were considering which human to go after next. Squall looked to Fujin one last time. She was pulling Raijin away, looking back for anywhere to hide. She wouldn't be quick enough. Part of him wished to turn away and run but Squall rushed towards the creature as well. He reached for his gunblade just before it, hoping to distract the thing. He knew he could get away…but the darkness seemed to sense this as well…Fujin collapsed wordlessly as the black haze moved through her then dissipated as if it had merely been a hallucination.

Squall stood frozen, attempting to manage a grasp on reality once more. Enough sense returned to him to check on both Fujin and Raijin. He dropped to his knees at Raijin's side. He was lying on his back again though Fujin's arms were now wrapped around his chest from when she had been attempting to pull him to safety. Now she was in the same state as was though she had only collapsed to her knees, doubled over Raijin, her head resting upon his left shoulder. "No, no, no," Squall repeated this softly, his voice shaking as much as his hand as he reached out to check both of their pulses.

"Don't bother," came a woman's voice, soft and slightly pained "They're already dead."

A/N: Don't stop reading! Hey, come back! If you've committed to the story for this long don't give up on me now, I am going somewhere with this. Don't worry. If the writing wasn't up to par it's because I'm mostly asleep right now. This was the only chance I got to write with all the school work I've had lately. I blame your reviews on my latest chapter for my lack of sleep. Not that I'm complaining. Please keep reviewing! It doesn't take long to review and it means the world to me. This fic doesn't have long to go so please just see it through.


	20. Tragedy

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I'm so sorry that I didn't update sooner but my internet connection has quite literally died and left me without any way to conveniently continue. I'll do my best to keep this going though so don't worry...if you cared to begin with... . ;;.

"How is he?" Squall closed his eyes as he heard a new voice from the next room. He didn't feel like joining them. He felt more like disapearing. Life had become so complicated, not to mention painful. He couldn't bring himself to leave the apartment just yet...not when only last night...Squall closed his eyes and dug his fingers into the pillow just beneath his head. After Edea had made sure he was escorted back to his room he had been left with the bed to himself. The voice he heard now he recognized as Selphie's. He hoped Zell wasn't with her. He couldn't take anything from Zell right now. Not about Seifer.

"He's still asleep," Rinoa answered, a pause before her words "Who told you?"

"It's all over the school," Selphie said, her voice low, trying to be respectful in light of these recent events "At least among the SeeDs. Zell told me just this morning...he looked sick..." Selphie paused then and when she spoke once more Squall noted that she sounded close to tears "I want to leave the garden Rini...people are dying...it just isn't worth it!"

"But-"

"There isn't anything we can do!" Her voice was raised and Squall visualized Selphie standing, hugging herself in a frantic manor "It's killed so many students! I don't want to die! I don't want anyone else to die!"

"There's nothing else keeping that thing here," Rinoa began, her tone soft, as if she were trying to calm Selphie "We have to keep until we figure something out."

"So we're just here for it to feed off of then? What kind of plan is that!" She sounded as if she were crying but managed to recover soon enough "...I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about all this...It's not as if I can leave anyway...Zell won't leave...He told me I could go if I wanted but-"

"We'll figure something out. We defeated Ultimacia, right? This should be child's play compared to that."

"You're right," Her voice wavered and Squall felt his resolve slip even more "Do you know why...Fujin and Raijin came here...? They knew it was dangerous, right?"

Another pause "I don't see how they couldn't."

"I guess they were worried about Seifer huh? I wasn't here for long before they all left the Garden but I heard they were close."

"They were," Rinoa murmured wearily.

"...But you still think Seifer's the one to blame? Even after...I mean...his friends..."

Squall watched the door carefully and sat up as he heard mention of Seifer.

"I don't think he's the one who killed everyone per say...but I believe he's in league with whatever this thing is, yes..."

"He was probably after Squall. He sent whatever it was after him...Fujin and Raijin just got in the way...Do we even know if those two are really dead?"

Selphie didn't respond and Squall stared wide-eyed. What Rinoa had suggested. Could that be a possibility? Surely not...right...?

"I have to go Rini," Selphie said at last and her voice became softer as if she were moving towards the front door "You take care of yourself...and Squall..." another pause for whispered goodbyes and hugs between fatigued friends then the door closed.

Squall relaxed and allowed himself to lie back on the bed again. Rest was what he needed right now. Though he had been lying down since he had gotten back he hadn't actually managed to sleep yet. There was too much to worry about for that. Now he did his best to keep his eyes closed. Once he had succeeded in shutting them sleep came quickly. He was on the edge of consciousness when a string of thoughts ran through his mind, stimulating it back into the waking world. Did Seifer know that his friends were dead?

Seifer hadn't slept either. At the moment he was lying on his bed, the kitten leaping peacefully in the crook of his arm. Seifer felt too sick to sleep. He wiped tears from his eyes, almost angrily and buried his face into a pillow. So Squall didn't love him. So what? That wasn't it...Many people didn't love him...Many people actually hated him but Squall actually saying that he felt the same way as everyone else had crushed him. Was there anyone left who cared if he lived or died?

The cat at his side felt Seifer tense and raised her head. She yawned and snuggled closer. Seifer found himself smiling weakly though not for long "I have Fujin and Raijin right?" The cat raised her head again "And Ellone did care, right?" The cat mewed in response to being spoken to and then purred as Seifer absently scratched the top of her head "Ellone," He repeated, this time addressing the cat "You care," he stood and the cat again mewed "I guess caring and dependent are two different things," He went to bring the cat something to eat, his spirits lifted ever-so-slightly. He still looked terrible and felt even worse.

Once he left the room he looked around "Fujin, Raijin?" He was disappointed when no response came. Had they gone back home? Surely not. They had come because they were worried about him. They certainly wouldn't have left now. Secretly he didn't want them to. Those two were really all he had left anymore. He could leave the garden with them. He could get over Squall. The latter wasn't true though the idea kept his going, as did the fact that two people left in this world still cared about him. Fujin and Raijin had each other, Seifer had the both of them.

At the moment he needed to get himself together. This mood didn't suit him at all. A knock on the door caused Seifer to look up, startled. He didn't rush himself. If it had been Fujin or Raijin they would have let themselves in and he knew that Squall wouldn't be knocking on his door. This meant that this person was probably an administrator. With a sigh Seifer put a saucer on the floor. The kitten, or Ellone, trotted up to it unaffected by the new noise.

Seifer knew he must look horrible right now. He'd taken a long shower though that certainly hadn't changed his miserable appearance "Coming!" He called weakly, going back to his bedroom for a moment and snatching a new shirt. He unlocked the door as he pulled it on, doing his best to look presentable. But...it was only Zell...Seifer frowned. "What are you doing here?" He tried to close the door again but Zell caught it.

"I take it no one's been here since last night huh?" He invited himself in and Seifer couldn't help but notice the troubled expression upon his face.

"Does that concern you?" Seifer moved back some, allowing Zell to enter completely as it didn't appear that he was going to leave without saying what he had come to tell him.

"No, but I thought you deserved to at least be told," It was as if he were making a point to be kind.

Being unusually polite to Seifer didn't fit his personality. Now he was sure that something was wrong. Seifer's own face mirrored the concern upon Zell's "Did something happen?" Zell looked away and opened his mouth to speak though he couldn't seem to find the right words "What happened?" Seifer demanded now, putting a hand to Zell's chin and forcing the other to face him "Is it Squall?"

Zell shook his head and Seifer breathed a sigh of relief, releasing him for now. Of course the next words spoken made the ease that came over him short-lived. It must have taken Zell several minutes to explain. He broke the news slowly and as gently as possible though, as he looked back on it, the only words Seifer Almasy could recall were "-they're dead.-" It hit him like a tidal wave and he stumbled back before loosing his balance completely and moving to the ground for support. They weren't dead. He'd heard it wrong. There was no way that...Reality forced its way in and Seifer doubled over. He had lost everything. Now the only two people he had left had been taken away...It wasn't fucking fair! "It's not fair!" He punched the floor and then Zell as the other attempted to stop him. He couldn't think straight, though it was amazing he was even remotely coherent "Bring Squall here, bring Squall here now."

"...He won't..."

"Bring him here, now!" He demanded, holding his head in his hands. He couldn't even bring himself to cry now. It was as if his sanity was ebbing away, in pain beyond the point of tears.

Zell wiped blood from his face and nodded though he knew Seifer didn't see this. Quickly he ran from the room, hurrying towards the room Squall shared with his fiance'.

"Squall!"

Rinoa jumped as a sudden pounding on the door woke her from the lull of reading. She recognized the voice as Zell's and rushed top the door in concern "Zell?" She quickly ushered him in "What happened to you?"

Zell ignored her completely, looking around. He assumed Squall to be in another room and opened the bedroom door this time.

Squall woke with a start, just as the door swung open and saw Zell enter "Z-Zell?"

"Seifer wants to see you Squall," He said, panting slightly "I think you need to Squall, please go."

"You told him?" Squall looked almost frightened and rushed to the door, slamming in shut in Rinoa's face "Is he all right?"

"I wouldn't be here if he was!" Zell appeared frustrated now "He wants you Squall. He told me to bring you there."

He was about to say something along the lines of 'Why didn't he come himself?' but couldn't bring himself to. Terror was welling up within him. He was actually scared to see Seifer right now. What if he blamed Squall for Fujin and Raijin's deaths "Now," He said, shaking his head several times and repeating himself "I can't go."

Zell had expected as much. He didn't bother getting angry "C'mon Squall...please...Don't do this man."

"I'm sorry Zell, I can't," Was all he said before lying back down on the bed, facing the wall. In defeat Zell left the room, slowly making his way back to where he had left Seifer.

"He won't come."

There was no response.

Hours became days, days became weeks, and Seifer still refused to leave his apartment. There were no classes to be bothered by and it wasn't as if anyone had tried to coax him to come out. Occasionally he heard a patrol outside or the screams of an attack. Talk among the SeeDs. When not about the creature, was generally based on a certain wedding to come. At least Squall hadn't been killed.

Seifer was asleep at the moment. Drinking certainly hadn't helped though sleep was a comforting escape. Perhaps it wasn't healthy but neither was facing life alone and the thought of that was unbearable.

Ellone's cries woke him up. She was bored and hungry and somewhat worried about her master, at least for a cat.

Seifer stood in response "I should give you to Zell," He said, moving to the kitchen, his voice hoarse from lack of use. His eyes were tired and dull, his movements a bit shaky, and his clothes barely fit him anymore as he had lost a great deal of weight. He put tuna down for the kitten and was heading back to his room when he caught a glimpse of white from the corner of his eye. Looking to the door he realized someone had slid a letter beneath it. Not another one.

Not enough nerve to knock? He went to take the envelope, sitting down beside the door as he did so. He had almost no energy anymore, not that he cared. The envelope itself was unmarked but he didn't hesitate to open it.

This Garden is for putting an end to evils like this.

You make that impossible. You may fool the administrators

but you don't fool us. Students and SeeDs alike all know the

truth and in the end you'll get your just rewards. You should

never have come back. This world doesn't need people like

you. Give it up. Leave or confess.

Short but sweet. No signature, neat, printed handwriting. It was mild compared to the others he had received. It still stung though he had to admit that their words were beginning to sound appealing. _This world doesn't need people like you._ Seifer tossed the letter to one side and leaned back against the wall. He smirked and hunched his shoulders forward, tilting his head back as he began to laugh. It was all so easy. Surely he still had the nerve.

A slight pressure against Seifer's leg stirred him. "We certainly don't need anyone like you around to talk me out of it," A pale hand scooped up Ellone as Seifer stood and left his dorm room completely.

"Hey, Squall."

"Go away."

Squall had been keeping mostly to himself. He still had no classes and only left when he had meetings with Cid to attend or patrols to run. Rinoa hadn't bothered him. She reasoned that he needed a rest. Zell wasn't so easily convinced. He closed the door behind himself, crossed the room, and took a seat at the end of Squall's bed "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. It doesn't suit you."

Squall looked up angrily "I'm not-"

"So prove it. Go check on Seifer man. Come on," Zell went to his knees, pulling Squall into a sitting position.

He was sick of Zell trying to force him to see someone he had no intention of socializing with ever again. Of course he wasn't himself right now. He hadn't been himself since this whole damn affair began. Squall didn't know who he was anymore "Go yourself if you're so concerned."

"I've already seen him. He doesn't look good," Zell noted how Squall's expression saddened if for only a moment. He continued, hoping to strike some nerve in the other "He dropped the cat off with Selphie and me not too long ago," Zell didn't ask if Squall wanted her but it was just as well. Squall said nothing. After a long, infuriating silence, Zell stood "I thought you were better than this!" He hissed, so as not to disturb Rinoa "What happened to you man! You're a coward now! You can face that...thing out there...but you can't so much a say Seifer's name! You're going to loose more than him if you keep this up."

There are two kinds of suicidal people. Those who want attention. The idiots who want a better way to say 'I told you so' to friends, old teachers, or lovers. They want someone to blame themselves. Generally they don't fully realize what they're doing. They don't realize that they won't get to savor their victory, that there might not be anything waiting for them on the other side. The other sort were those who truly had nothing to live for. If grief could kill it would. These poor souls truly wished to die. They had searched every other option and found no escape. They could admit aloud that they were cowards and afraid of life. Everyone harbors fear for life but most are aware that the bitter comes with the sweet. You simply have to ride the pain out. Seifer knew that this bitterness would be lasting. When the good did come it would be marred with memories of the past. Ultimacia would haunt him, blame for these deaths would haunt him. Students and teachers alike would never let him forget. No one would. He certainly wouldn't let himself forget Squall.

There was no other way out for Seifer and this certainly disappointed him. Suicide was overdone. He wished he could die naturally. People would think he was running. "Well you are," Seifer put the note he had written aside after reading it over yet again. Laying it on his mattress he headed into the bathroom, contemplating what the best way to off oneself might be.

His Hyperion was out of the question. He certainly wasn't going insult such a fine weapon with a menial job like the one he was planning. Hanging himself would involve rope and though a sheet would do he didn't know how to tie a noose. Ingesting something fatal was tricky and took much to long if not done properly. He didn't feel much life suffering more than need be. A razor seemed the only option left and that had failed him one already. Of course the likely hood of Laguna or anyone else for that matter intervening this time were slim. Two deep gouges downwards should do the trick. This would be painful for a minute at the most. After that his arms would become numb and his eyelids and body heavy.

Seifer broke the razor on his sink, sliding the new blade from the plastic and holding it in his palm. It was too small. An exacto knife would work better but he didn't own any and waiting any longer to acquire one was out of the question. The most successful way to die in this manor would probably be done by starting at the wrist and going right along to the elbow, severing every major vein and artery along the way. That was out of the question with something so small.

Seifer took a seat on the cold linoleum and rested his upper arm on the side of the bathtub. He didn't want anyone to have to spend too much time cleaning up the mess he was about to make. He knew he wouldn't want that job. Seifer wasted no more time. Placing the sharp edge of the razor to his wrist he pressed down and in one quick, yet slightly stuttering motion he dragged it as far as it would go. Hastily he switched hands and bore down again and made a long slash on his other arm. It didn't go as far as he would have liked. The bloodstained instrument soon fell from his grasp.

Seifer leaned over his extended arms, watching as the blood splashed and pooled against the white, textured bottom on the tub. "I didn't want to die," He murmured, not minding that he was crying now. He had been sure he could have lived with Squall. He had wanted to live with Squall "But it's one hell of a fitting end," He flexed his fingers, willing himself to die faster.

A familiar dizzying feeling came over him. He could feel his vision becoming blurry and then black...But the darkness wasn't right...It came all at once...much too sudden...Seifer's body slumped over and his eyes closed. It wasn't his own hand that claimed him.

Squall and Zell left his home together but wordlessly parted ways once in the hall. Squall was relieved to be alone. He wanted to be alone and didn't bother to join a group on this patrol. Gunblade in hand Squall moved without much motivation.

Rinoa. That was who he was supposed to love. Squall tried to picture her smiling face, the way she embraced and kissed him. He couldn't stir any emotion but indifference, maybe even a slight twinge of disgust at the thought of marrying her. Seifer had been right. He didn't love Rinoa. Squall tightened his grip upon his weapon. So what! He felt nothing for Seifer either. The way Seifer had kissed him, held him, loved him, made him moan then question everything he had once known was true. Squall stopped. Nothing, right?

Shaking slightly, Squall looked up. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't realized where he was going. The rooms here were student's rooms and just ahead was Seifer's. "You idiot," He muttered "Watch where you're going," Squall was about to do an about face, head in the opposite direction but something caught his eye. Something came from the doorway, a dark outline phasing out of Seifer's room. It paused, apparently sensing Squall but seemingly sated for the night went the other way. Squall already knew what it had done and ran towards the creature faster than he would have dreamed possible "Come back!" He caught up easily and slid to a stop, swinging his gunblade though it sliced through with no visible affect. The creature kept moving along, closing in on another wall. Once it phased through this Squall wouldn't be able to reach it. Seifer would be gone.

He swung several more times, fiercely, desperately. Still nothing. Not like this. Swallowing, Squall stepping forward, pressing himself up against the wall as the creature passed through them both. He felt his breath catch and his head grow light. He slid to the ground, gunblade clutched to his chest.

A/N: Don't flame me but please review! There isn't much more of this fic to go. Now that I've found somewhere to access the internet my updates should be coming a bit more regularly. Perhaps I'll begin another fic or two in my downtime without the internet.


	21. Placing the Blame

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I'm trying to be quicker about the updates but it's difficult. I haven't been able to get to a computer again lately and I've also been busy. I've had school, I had an understudy role in the school play and unexpectedly the actor I was understudy for left town and I had to learn my lines and blocking then perform (yeah, I was an understudy for a guy -.- though they did allow me to change the sex of the role...which only caused some minor gender confusion with the lines...), and then of course I bought Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater -. Awesome game. I would still be playing it now but damnit, I got stuck. Why the hell do game makers of the MGS series think they have to add a trick battle. I don't know how to fight a ghost! Stupid Sorrow...and his...telling me to go back to the real world when there's a dead end but space to go forward and a freaking pop up ghost that kills me with one hit and no one helping on the codec, not even a hint AGGGGGGHHH! Sorry, I had to vent.

Squall moaned and shivered. It was unbelievably cold. Where was he? Suppressing a shiver Squall opened his eyes to a gray sky. Why was he here? He paused and was shivering before he realized that it was because he had...well...purposely stepped into the creature. So the next question was 'where was he'? He still couldn't think of an answer. Squall hugged the coat, which had been draped over him, closer to his body. Wait. Coat?

Squall pulled the coat back, studying the off white material. It was long, paler as it was now partially covered with falling snow...but it was unmistakably Seifer's coat...Seifer. "Seifer!" Squall sat straight up. He didn't have to search to spot his former lover crouched in the snow nearby. He was wearing only jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Though the shirt was long sleeved it seemed to be made of very thin material that rustled in the fierce, cold wind. As Seifer looked back Squall winced. He didn't look the same, not well at all. Zell had been right...this was all his own fault wasn't it...? Seifer looked thin, sick, and there was a bluish tinge to his lips, probably due to the cold. "Seifer," He repeated softly. He wanted nothing more than to stand and go to him but something deep down prevented Squall from doing so.

He was relieved when Seifer stood and approached Squall himself "Are you all right?" He asked in a hoarse voice, squatting in the snow nearby, crossing his arms on his knees "Are you cold?"

Squall realized he hadn't answered his first question and nodded "Aren't you?"

"Here," Seifer didn't answer his question but stood and led the way back to where he had been kneeling.

Squall stood shakily, finding snow in every direction. He was lightheaded and consequently fell once several steps away from Seifer. He closed his eyes shut tight then opened them once more to see a hollow in one of the many piles of snow about them. Roots lined the empty space, dead roots but it gave one the idea that the snow would hold if they climbed in. The snow was higher nearby and given that there was still a great deal amount of snow towards the end of the hollow Squall soon realized this was what Seifer had been busying himself with.

He didn't need a hint. Squall slipped his legs in first, bringing Seifer's coat with him as he slid himself completely inside. It was warmed in here, his back touched the wall of the hollow and he felt himself snuggling against it. as if searching for more warmth in the damp whiteness. The answer for more warmth was obvious. Squall looked up and met a pair of jade green eyes just before they darted away "Seifer, don't be an idiot. Come in here. We'll both be warmer."

Seifer hesitated then went to his knees, then stomach, backing in beside Squall. They fit snuggly in the hollow and. It was much warmer now. Squall rolled onto his side and watched Seifer, wishing he would wrap his arms around him. That familiar embrace was always warm, often even hot. "Seifer," He managed at last "Where are we?"

"Where I've been three times now. It's not so bad. Get some rest. I'll get you out soon," He murmured, still lying there on his stomach.

Squall stared at Seifer for a long moment until realization suddenly hit him "You know what's happening," He said accusingly, propping himself up ever so slightly "What's going on?" When Seifer said nothing Squall reached out and shook him "I didn't think you knew much about things before but you've really figured it out. What the hell is going on?" Seifer didn't so much as raise his head and when Squall shook him again he seemed to collapse in his grip "Seifer?" He rolled Seifer onto his side and realized he was shivering in spasms that were almost violent "Idiot, you're going to freeze to death," Squall muttered though his eyes gave away his concern. He draped the coat over both of them and pulled Seifer close against his own body.

"Oh, Seifer," The lean, muscular body he had felt wrapped around him many nights before felt fragile in his arms now. Squall put his hand to the back of Seifer's head and settled his fingers against blonde hair, feeling snow melt against his fingertips "This is all my fault," He murmured though he knew it meant nothing with Seifer unconscious "I'll take care of you from now on Seifer. You'll be all right," Seifer's eyes were closed but his shivering had become less violent. Squall studied everything about his face. At least that was familiar enough. The same lips, nose, eyes...at least while closed...Squall found himself leaning close, as if meaning to kiss the snowflakes from the other other's eyelashes. Instead he hastily pressed Seifer's head to his chest, winding around him almost protectively. Squall stayed awake, resolving to watch over Seifer and keep a look out for now. It seemed Seifer had done the same for him. The way Squall saw it he owed Seifer a great deal "I don't hate you Seifer," He whispered, feeling warmer than he ever thought possible in such weather.

Seifer wasn't sure how much time had passed. He opened his eyes to darkness but for some reason this didn't trouble him. He felt more at ease than he had in ages. There was no forgetting where he was but he wasn't cold. He felt a gentle hand supporting his hand, another absently stroking his back. Seifer lifted his head, realizing it had been buried in Squall's shoulder. His eyes lit up with hope, watching Squall as he stared out of the small hollow where they lie together "...Squall..."

Squall gave a start, quickly pulling his hands back. Seifer felt his heart drop. Of course Squall didn't want him back. He was getting married soon "Come on Squall, we need to get moving," Seifer began to climb out, shakily but much to his surprise Squall pulled him back.

"It's gotten darker. You'll freeze,. You don't even have a coat. No, we're staying here for now," As Seifer pulled further away Squall winced.

"What do you care?" Seifer grumbled, crawling forward again "You can keep my coat. I'll get you back to Rinoa safe and sound."

Squall pulled Seifer back roughly this time, surprised by how easy it was to restrain him in his current state "You're coming back with me. It's not as if I plan on letting you die."

Seifer averted his eyes. Squall had no say in that matter but...Squall..."Are you saying you...care about me again..." Seifer asked slowly, looking up.

This time it was Squall who averted his eyes "Don't be an idiot. I'm still marrying Rinoa. You know that I don't love you Seifer."

Seifer nodded "I know...I just hoped..."

"It was fun for a while Seifer, I'll give you that...But it was wrong...and it's over now," Squall felt more like a mother scolding a persistent child than a former lover. He winced slightly at his own words.

"Fun?" Seifer looked as if he would be sick. He moved as if to leave one last time but again Squall caught him about the waist, holding him still "Let go of me!" Seifer's voice was still firm, the tone one had before they resorted to violence. But Squall wasn't particularly frightened of Seifer right now. He shook his head.

"Wait till it's a little warmer Seifer. I'm not following you just to freeze to death in the middle of nowhere," Seifer went lax then tense beneath his hands. He pounded a fist against the snow, diverting his anger elsewhere.

"Everyone makes me out to be the bad guy. I could have lived without all the damn irony," Squall found Seifer's shoulder's shaking slightly as if he was crying. Squall found himself genuinely surprised and concerned. He reached out to place his hand against Seifer's cheek, pull his back so that he might see his face but Seifer pulled away.

"Don't touch me!" He snarled, backing up, as far away from Squall as possible in the small enclosure "Don't fucking pretend like you care when we both know you don't...at least not enough..."

Squall shook his head again, rolling his eyes "It's not that bad," He muttered, pulling away from Seifer himself. Of course he wasn't sure he believed his own words.

"Not that bad," Seifer repeated, looking away, out into the snow "I had nothing...then I had you...thought I had you...you took that away from me...I had nothing again, even less. I had hope for a while, had some fucking dignity but you took that too. I was an experiment. You couldn't get it up with a woman so you wanted to see how you'd fare with the same sex." Squall brought his hand hard across Seifer's face as the other finished. Seifer moved with the blow, his head going to one side. He opened his eyes once more, slowly, then began to laugh. Squall found himself afraid as Seifer looked to him, his usual smirk twisted and tainted by pain and desperation "Go ahead Squall. I can't drop a whole hell of a lot lower. Do and say whatever you won't now when I wake up I won't bother you again."

Squall's hand was raised, ready to strike Seifer again if need be "You're leaving the garden?"

Seifer nodded "Will you miss me?" The words were scathing, almost mocking but still Squall was sure that the desperation had yet to leave Seifer's face.

Would Seifer forgive him if he said 'yes', dove into the other's arms sobbing? Squall still had his own pride "...No...You've said it yourself, no one would."

"Precisely," Seifer crawled outside without resistance. He stood and Squall found himself following the other out though only part way.

"Are you just going to leave me here then?" Squall asked, keeping his tone angry. The frightened expression upon his face gave him a way.

Seifer smiled, this time genuinely only sad reassurance hiding behind it "No, I'm leading you home."

"We argued this already. It's too cold. I'll freeze," Squall made a point to mention only himself. He still hadn't forgiven Seifer for being so blunt with the truth.

"You can keep my coat. The sun will be out soon. It isn't a long walk, you'll be fine," As Seifer took another step back the clouds shifted and revealed one of the dullest suns Squall had ever seen. Though it was as large as the one their own world orbited on a hot summer day this one provided almost no heat and seemed more blue than orange. The blue tinge about it was cold, as if the massive star itself had frozen over. It provided almost no warmth and Squall found it only created a disturbing, dreary sort of atmosphere.

"How did you know?" Squall shivered and climbed out, slipping the coat on without thinking upon the matter. He hugged this close to his body, reveling in what comfort it offered.

"I told you, I've been here several times now," Snow began to fall lightly now, cascading around Seifer as he began trudging forward.

"You never told me where we were," Squall looked around as he followed and when no answer came his attention was directed towards the coat and the gauzy long sleeves that Seifer wore. He must be freezing "Were you wearing this in your apartment?" He tugged on the collar of his coat as Seifer glanced back.

"No," Seifer's tone was even now. He looked ahead as soon as he had answered.

"Then why did you have it when you came here? All I have is what I was wearing when I was attacked," Squall looked himself over. Beneath Seifer's coat there was the SeeD uniform. "I don't even have my gunblade on me," He hugged the coat close again as Seifer responded.

"Yes you do."

Squall felt a sudden weight at his side and looked down to find his gunblade. He stopped where he stood but Seifer kept going "How...that wasn't..." He looked about wildly and hurried after Squall, coming to his side "Tell me where we are!"

"You know where we are. You should remember this place better than anyone," Seifer looked to Squall with the same smile he had used only moments before "What I can't understand is how you found me."

Squall didn't have time for this. He wasn't making sense "What the hell are you talking about? You were there when I woke up. You found me."

Seifer shook his head "You just appeared at my side. I wasn't looking for you. I didn't even know you were here."

Squall wasn't sure of what to say but deemed nothing would prove worthwhile. Who found who was all in the past. What mattered know was where they were going now "Do you know where you're going?"

"No," Seifer admitted, giving Squall something of a start. he couldn't see the small, albeit warm opening from here. He was sure they would freeze to death out in the open "But I know what I'm taking you to. Only have to keep that in mind."

Squall was about to question Seifer further, perhaps give him a sound throttling for leading him on like this when the sky itself seemed to shimmer. It rippled in one quick wave, becoming a stagnant ocean of sorts. The sky dulled and Squall found himself keeping close to Seifer. He pressed closer against his companion when the other put an arm around his slight, shivering body.

"Squall," The voice was barely more than a whisper. He could feel cold and wind worn lips brush his ear. A hand went to his opposite cheek, tilting his face inward "I'm sorry for everything Squall. Be happy, if that's only possible with Rinoa so be it. I didn't mean to complicate things Squall. I love you," Seifer's lips found Squall's before he could find the words to respond. The kiss was gentle, loving, and sweeter than Squall could have expected from Seifer. It was sudden. He hadn't time to pull away before the world flipped upside down.

"Seifer!" He opened his eyes to a flash of orange. A sudden expanse of scorched and cracked earth. Squall squeezed his eyes shut, held Seifer close, and found he was hugging himself "Seifer!" He shouted again, hair blowing from his face as he spun right side up. A wave of cold and nausea swept over Squall. He doubled over, still hugging himself as he fell to his knees, coughing violently. "Seifer," He repeated, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and rising shakily "Seifer?" His eyes settled upon blonde hair caught in the wind behind a shroud of snow that had begun to fall in abundance. The angle of the shroud was fierce. Squall felt the coat around his body rip to one side, saw the gauzy clothes of the figure on the hill before him do the same, cling to the frame of a wraith like body. The scene seemed so distant as darkness formed before that figure upon the hill. It seemed to become compact, solid. The darkness took the form of a man, taking on the proportions of the one before it. Arms of shadow embraced the other, supported him as he fell back. There was something morbidly beautiful about it, the relief that seemed to course through the elegantly arched body before mouth and eyes opened wide. A sudden, short, restrained cry rushed up from his throat soon silenced by will power then by a great deal of blood. Squall was still taking in the picture as vibrant crimson pooled and crept slowly down the hill.

"This is all my fault,"

Squall urged himself to stir from the sudden shock of everything before him. He stood, shakily at first then with confidence.

"I'll take care of you from now on Seifer. You'll be all right,"

Squall's pale fingers settled about the gunblade, gripping it firmly before he drew his weapon resolutely and charged forward.

A/N: I'm almost finished. Yay! Am I doing well with the cliffhangers? A lot will happen in the next chapter. I hope you'll all be there to read it. This update would have come sooner but during the short time I had the internet in the last few days the update system on was down. I hope I can get this up soon.

In other news I beat MGS3 and have a brand new bishi obsession with Ocelot. In even other news I need a new beta reader but...and this is the tricky part...I can't use e-mail. If you're interested in beta reading any of my work, even one fic please go to This is the only forum I can visit on the blocked computers at school (which is where I have most of my computer access now). From there please private message the user Shade. I understand that this is a lot of work for helping out a...not particularly talented or well known fanfiction author...but it would and will be GREATLY appreciated. I have one beta reader already but she isn't very fond of yaoi and instead of subjecting here to a great deal of that sort of thing I believe I need someone new to help me along. I can't really offer much in thanks. I probably wouldn't be the best beta reader for someone else given my current situation with the internet -.-...but other then that...hmm, I'd be willing to take requests...a fanfiction of the beta reader's choice or that sort of thing...Wow...I really have nothing to offer...Except my love. You know you want my love -;;.

Finally I would like to mention that I am working on several other fics simultaneously with this one since I have the time to write several chapters before I get the chance to update. These fics include two Seifer/Squall works.

Waking the Dead: An odd adaptation of "Return of the Living Dead". Seifer and Squall have been together for some time without much thought to romance. Without so much as an "I love you" from Seifer it takes the death of his better half for him to realize exactly what he had. To what lengths will he go to get that back?

Salvaging an Angel: Squall has never been very popular or well liked. When some childish bully goes to far it's one of those who hurt him who saves his life. Does that really change things between them or should Squall reveal what really happened?

All dramatic sounding. What I need now is someone with the movie trailer voice and I'm all set. Please continue reviewing. I appreciate everyone who has done so. It makes writing worth while to know what you think.


	22. Irony

Enigmatic Hatred By Shade

A/N: I apologize for this chapter taking so long. I'm surprised I got it up this soon as I currently have the flu. My mother won't take me to the doctor and since I can't breath I can't sleep and since I can't sleep here I am. Special thanks for this chapter goes to my wonderful beta readers NightShadow131 and Virulent Enmity.

Squall paused once as he slipped back on the fresh snow. He slammed the blade of his gunblade into the ground, doing his best to catch his balance. The snow was slick and the wind was much too fierce now. As the seconds began to string together Squall found himself becoming panicked. He couldn't seem to get any further. He could see Seifer above, nearby now. His eyes were open as was his mouth. His body contracted as if to scream but blood surfaced instead. The same blood came from nose then mouth then his skin as portions began to crack and peel away. He was dying and it was all Squall's fault. Everything had been his fault.

Just saying that to yourself doesn't change anything, His thoughts were screaming, drowning out the sound of the storm raging around him. Damnit, do something! Squall drove his gunblade further into the ground and with a sudden yell, used it to push himself forward. Gaining momentum he pulled the blade free and lunged onto the top of the hill. He drove his body against Seifer's side. The other fell to one side, seemingly unconscious as he slid to the opposite base of the hill. Squall swung his blade but hit nothing. He should have known better and as if to confirm his suspicions the creature before him had become smaller in size. He ignored this, striking again. Still nothing. It was no use "Damnit," Squall closed his eyes, dropping his gunblade so that it fell at his feet.

He felt the thing wrap around his waist then pull him in close. Squall opened his mouth to scream but the cry became strangled in his throat. The pain was unbearable and in moments his knees buckled and his body fell back only to be caught there. Not that this was any relief. He barely noticed the cold anymore though his eyes were focused upon the sky. It was grey and cloudy, specked with falling white. Seifer's place in time compression. Seifer? Was he all right? He wasn't dead, was he? Did it matter? Squall was probably dying now himself. His skin was tingling then burning. His body began to shake and as something red clouded his eyes he had no doubt that he was dying. Then it was over.  
Squall was vaguely aware that he hit the ground. His breath was slow and ragged. Was he still dying? Where was Seifer? Hyne don't let him be dead. I'm dying, right? Just let me see him one more time.

"...Squall...?"

Squall's vision steadied some and he tilted his head to the side. Seifer was blurred but he was there, unable to stand just yet but crawling towards him. He stopped beside him, not quite touching. His face was smeared with blood and his clothes and hair with snow from the fall. "You look like hell."

Seifer seemed to smile in relief. Squall realized he must not look much better or even dead already to deserve a response like that "Is that all?" Seifer asked, his voice weak with strain, both physical and emotional.

Squall shook his head or at least tried to it only amounted to a minimal sort of movement "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry...and that I love you..." Suddenly Seifer's arms were wrapped around him. It should have hurt but didn't or maybe Squall had already experienced far worse pain for his mind to even register this.

"You're sure?" Seifer put his hand to the back of Squall's head, brushing his fingers through the other's hair. Squall noted that despite their current predicament he had never seen Seifer happier.

"Yes," Squall closed his eyes as his heart suddenly began to race "...I don't want to leave..." Was all he could manage afterwards.

"What?" Seifer looked Squall over then put a hand to the other other's cheek, coaxing him into opening his eyes "You mean die?" He smiled "You're not dying...You'll be fine..." He assured, kissing him for a moment and paying no mind to the blood "Don't get me wrong. You came awfully close...we both did..."

Squall met his eyes, doubt there. "I'm all right?"

"You feel better already don't you?"

Squall nodded again, this time finding he had the strength to make it noticeable. It was certainly strange though he supposed it did make sense. Now he could see the sky again. The sun was coming out but the edges were growing darker "It's disappearing," Squall said in sudden realization. "We'll be out soon."

"Yeah," Suddenly Seifer froze, tensing.

"What is it?" Squall slowly sat up, wrapping his arms around Seifer's neck as he found the process slow.

"Oh Hyne Squall, I'm sorry," Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall,  
holding him closer still.

Squall's eyes were open in surprise. The world was falling away on the horizon. They would be home soon. "Why?" He asked, doing his best to continue smiling "I love you Seifer. If you'll still have me we can be together now. You still want me...don't you...?"

"Of course I still want you," His voice was strained as if near tears "...But...I'm so sorry," He dropped his head against Squall's shoulder.

Squall raised his hands in a puzzled manor, running them over Seifer's back in an attempt to calm him down "Why? You haven't done anything wrong."

Seifer said, skirting the question, shaking his head and pulling back to kiss Squall. He would find out soon enough. Why waste time explaining now. "I love you Squall. This isn't your fault."

"What-" That was all he managed as the ground beneath them suddenly gave way. He clung to Seifer as they fell and felt Seifer keeping a firm hold on him until the darkness cleared and Squall found himself in a bed. Was he in his room? Squall opened his eyes slowly then shut them again as the light proved too much.

"He's awake!" It was Selphie's voice. He must be in the hospital wing. He had been attacked in the hallway; naturally someone must have found him. Squall did his best to open his eyes again. This time he took his time, giving himself time to adjust. When his vision cleared he immediately found himself face to face with Rinoa. She wasn't exactly the first person he had hoped to see.

"Oh Squall," She threw her arms around him and Squall caught a glimpse of all his friends. They really were loyal weren't they? Perhaps he needed to start showing a bit more appreciation towards everyone who had put up with him for this long. But first things first. Seifer deserved an apology the most. Shouldn't he be in the infirmary too?

Squall pulled away from Rinoa, shaking his head. "Where's Seifer?"

Rinoa gaped at him for a moment. She hadn't expected that response "I don't know... In his dorm room...? Why?"

Of course. Seifer was reclusive lately anyway. No one would suspect anything if he hadn't been seen. Squall sat up and quickly stood. A head rush ensued and Squall felt himself falling back only to be caught by Irvine "Woah, not so fast there. You had a close call. You really need to stay in bed."

Squall shook his head. He was sore all right. The wounds he had sustained in time compression were still here. But he wanted to see Seifer. "I'll be right back," He assured, pushing past both Irvine and Rinoa. He heard his fiancé shout his name as he sprinted out of the hospital wing still dressed in only light blue scrub pants. He felt dizzy, as if he might collapse at any minute but he kept up his pace. No one was in the hall to stop him, not that he would have noticed them had they been. Within moments he was pounding on Seifer's door. "Seifer!" He called. The smile on his face became nervous when no one answered. Swallowing he tried the door. It opened with ease and Squall took several hesitant steps inside "...Seifer...?" Maybe he had gone to the dorm he shared with Rinoa? That was always a possibility.

He scanned the room, his eyes falling up the bed then the paper sitting there. Slowly Squall crossed the room, lifting the note from the mattress. He only needed scan over the words for a few moments before it dropped from his fingers. His lips parted, his breath came in quick frightened gasps as he rushed towards the bathroom. Seifer was indeed there, seated on the floor, shirtless. He was leaning forward, arms draped over the edge of the tub. His arms were streaked with red. The flow of blood had slowed to a rhythmic drip, resonating in Squall's ears as time seemed to slow as well. "Seifer!" Squall rushed forward and dropped to his knees. He wrapped his arms around Seifer's waist,  
pulling him back and against his own body. Seifer fell back against him without resistance. His head fell to one side, exposing his neck as Squall's fingers searched desperately for a pulse "Someone help me!"

A/N: I'm almost finished. Things will be wrapped up in one more chapter and perhaps an Epilogue. Please continue reading and reviewing and don't leave me now! You've come this far. It's been two years but I promise it's going to wrap up soon...I'll get back to work as soon as I can breath again...Or my fever goes down...Or someone takes me to the doctor...! All right, all right. Now I'm just venting. Until next time, I love ya all...save for one individual who flammed me for putting Seifer and Squall together...If for some strange reason you're still reading this you know who you are. 


	23. Too Little Too Late

I apologize. Either this was a mistake on my part or a glitch on Please review this chapter via an earlier chapter if you already reviewed. I'm sorry! Here's the real chapter.

Enigmatic Hatred By Shade

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I had school then I was out of town...then I got a lot of new stuff like a new video game, some new books, and new set of tarot cards...all of which took up their own portion of my time. I hope I haven't lost any readers. I'll try to finish this fic up as soon as possible, i.e. I'll devote my down time to it until it's finished...which shouldn't take to long...

Dear Squall,

I've never been good at writing letters. I guess that's why I didn't even leave a note last time.  
I guess I'm not quite as smart as I had liked to think I was when we were classmates huh?  
I'd never even thought of myself as a niave person until this happened. I had honestly believed at one point that things might work out between us. I was wrong. I suppose I'm not as strong as I had liked to think either because I can't take this anymore. Even if I can't have you I wish you nothing but happiness with Rinoa. But seeing you two married would be a far more painful death for me than I have any will to take.

I am confident that either you or Zell will find this as no one else will have any reason to visit me. The most I can hope now is that this isn't too much of an inconvenience, especially with the wedding. The blame falls on no one but myself. I love you Squall and I always will. I couldn't choose to fall in love no more than I can choose to give you up and certainly no more than you could make your self love me back.

I'm sorry,  
Seifer

He must have read that letter over twenty times by now. It was all he had to do, sitting outside the nurses office and leaning against the wall. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't do much but panic and cry. Everyone was here to see this too but he hadn't given them a second thought. Zell was sitting relatively near Squall though he said nothing. Selphie sat at his side, forcing herself to stay quiet. The silence was broken by rushed footsteps. Quistis and James looked up from where there had been sitting, staring at the floor. Rinoa had arrived. Perhaps now wasn't the best time.

"Squall I just heard!" She was about to kneel in front of him but Squall stood to meet her instead. She clasped his hands, causing him to drop the letter "Are you okay? I know you didn't like him but this is still hard right?" She embraced Squall but as she craned her neck to kiss him he pulled back and kneeled down to quickly snatch up the note again. Rinoa gave him a baffled look. As he stood once more she did her best to give him a second kiss "It's okay Squall. I..." She was silenced as he pushed her back to arm's length.

"Rinoa...I can't...I'm sorry I-" The words got lost in his thought. He had neither the concentration nor the energy to say this "...can't do this..."

Her expression seemed to drop from slight concern to one of apprehension "What do you mean?"

"You deserve better than this. Someone who hasn't been lying to you," He realized that all his friends were watching now and he made a point to lower his voice though he was aware everyone was still able to hear him "...I'm in love with Seifer..." Zell smiled slightly in relief while Selphie and Quistis merely appeared puzzled. It took a few moments for Rinoa to sort out his words and as this news sank it she took it upon herself to punch him. Squall fell back against the wall as the blow took him offgaurd. Well he had deserved that "I'm sorry."

Rinoa shook her head and pulled him away, out of earshot of the others "Now you tell me this! After we'd planned a wedding? You do still love me don't you?"

Squall paused. He had been through a lot with Rinoa. He did care for her and did love her but no more than he loved Zell or Quistis. Regardless he nodded. Telling her no would be too cruel now.

"Then it's settled," Rinoa said, bowing her head slightly in thought "We'll just postpone the wedding and give you time to sort things out."

This wasn't working the way he had planned. Squall winced "No...Rinoa...you don't understand...I..." Well this was going well. He took a breath, unable to deal with all this right now "I love Seifer!" That seemed to freeze her. Squall pulled away, unsure of what to say now

Rinoa had every right to be angry but now she appeared furious. After all these years Squall wasn't particularly surprised. "You could be kicked out of the garden for this. You proposed to me. You just admitted you still love me," She hissed "Besides, Seifer's dying what was the point in telling me this now. It's..." Squall had slapped her. She stared at him for a long moment and certainly didn't take back what she had said. She was about to say more but he merely put his head back to her.

Squall knew he should have apologized for that but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't think straight at the moment but what she had just said had certainly struck a nerve. Instead of going after her he merely headed back to the infirmary door. He couldn't take waiting here any longer. Squall pushed the door open only to be greeted by one of Dr. Kadowaki's nurses. She looked startled to see him there and slightly pained. Squall read her expression and immediately shook his head, denying the news that was to come.  
"I'm sorry"  
-  
Edea smiled to herself. Perhaps she shouldn't be so...well...relieved but she simply couldn't help it. The danger was gone from Balamb. She took a seat next to her husband and kissed him. Cid looked up from the papers on his desk and returned the smile "So Squall saved the day again hmm"  
"Seifer too. We owe him an apology," Edea knew how embaressed her husband must be. He had only made the school's problems worse this time.  
"It seems a bit too late for that doesn't it?" Cid's attention returned to his papers and Edea sat still once more.  
"Not quite. Energy cannot be destroyed only displaced and in need of another conductor. Once Ultimacia passed on the power she left behind was no exception, right"  
Cid looked back up and gave a minimal shrug which finally became a half nod of sorts. No one person had been able to contain all that energy. It had been the power itself that had killed them. It took some longer than others but they had all suffered the same fate in the long run...at least until now that was.  
She gave her husband a reassuring kiss on the cheek before standing and moving to the window. "Well if that is the case then it would be hypthosis that it would be quite hard to separate this energy as well wouldn't it"  
Her husband smiled thoughtfully to himself and nodded once more. This time the motion was much more noticeable "I hope you're right."

Squall didn't wait for the shock to pass. He rushed past the nurse and into the emergency wing. Another nurse rushed to stop him but Dr. Kadowaki shook her head, stepping back from the bed she stood beside. The nurse followed her lead and stepped back as well. Squall found it hard to breath as he stopped beside the sheet draped mattress. Beneath it the shape of a person was outlined. It took all Squall's energy to bring a shaking hand to the corner of the sheet and pull it back. His movements were slow and when at last he dropped the fabric at the figure's shoulders he collapsed over Seifer. He was only faintly aware of everyone leaving the room and all the more conscious of the fact that he couldn't stop crying.  
"It shouldn't have been like this," He wrapped his arms around Seifer's body and pulled him close, kissing his neck then chest. The figure in his arms felt much too fragile, nothing like the Seifer he remembered. That too was his fault "I'm so sorry Seifer," He sobbed, pulling the sheet back a bit more so that he could reach Seifer's arms. His wrists had stopped breathing and had been bandaged but clearly not in time. Seifer hadn't broken his promise. What Squall had done had been inexcusable. He knew that now more than ever. He should have been there. This wouldn't have happened if he had just told Rinoa sooner. If anyone had broken a promise it had been him.  
Squall put a hand to Seifer's cheek. His skin was cool and as Squall ran a hand through thick blonde hair he had the urge to follow his lover. This wasn't Seifer anymore was it? If the cowards way out was good enough for Seifer it was more than good enough for him "All right," He said, more to himself then to the body below him. Perhaps suicide was too good for him. Perhaps living on alone was his punishment. Regardless he couldn't bring himself to pull away, not right now anyway. "I love you Seifer," He said softly, leaning in to kiss him. The kiss was empty. Squall hadn't expected much else. His lips stung as he pulled back and his eyes quickly followed suit.  
At least he had been able to tell Seifer he loved him, right? It didn't seem like enough. He should have told him earlier. Hell, he should have told him every day. Suddenly changing his mind and gathering the courage to admit the truth then had come too late.  
Squall laid down beside Seifer, resting his head upon his chest as he had slept beside him while he was still alive. Only now he didn't hear Seifer's heart beating nor was he kept warm, wrapped in the other's arms.He had had his chance. He had allowed this to happen. Once Seifer had practically been at his beck and call. Now he wanted nothing more than to hear his voice again and no amount of begging was going to make that happen here. He could almost feel Seifer's arms closing around him as they always had, holding him near.  
"Squall"  
He paused. He was losing it. He could swear he heard Seifer's voice but that was impossible and the notion of that only made him cry harder. He buried his face on the shoulder of the body beneath him, clutching it closer himself.  
"Damnit, stop that. You're hurting me"  
Squall pulled back, startled and looked down. Seifer was still lying there. He winced. Had he imagined that?..This was too painful...Why was he doing this to himself? He began to cry harder.  
"Shh," A hand weakly took his own hand "My ears are ringing, shh, not so loud"  
This time he knew he had heard something "Seifer"  
The blonde opened his eyes drowsily "I said 'shh'...I don't feel so hot"  
Indeed he was speaking.Squall snatched his wrists up and ripped the bandage from one just in time to see a fresh wound fading to an old scar. "Oh, Hyne, Seifer," Squall gasped, kissing his wrist and pressing his hand to his cheek. He was still crying but only out of relief now. It was as if he had been drowning and at last come up for air.  
Seifer seemed to realize what was going on because he quickly pulled Squall down and against him, glancing cautiously to the door "...Be quiet...I don't want anyone in here just yet"  
"W-what happened?" Was all Squall managed "I thought you were...dead..." The notion proved difficult to say and it was harder still to cease crying and clutching at Seifer to get a audible sentence out.  
Seifer paused "I was," He concluded at last. "I only remember...well..." He nodded to his wrist "Then it felt a lot like time compression again...only much, much different"  
Squall could tell that he was tired and confused. He was probably nervous Squall might think him insane but that certainly wasn't the case. Squall urged him on with a nod. Anything Seifer had to say he, well, wanted nothing more than to hear it. As long as Seifer was speaking he knew he was here.  
A/N: This would have been published sooner...but then I fell through a roof...into the linen closet. Not going to explain...but it hurt...both my pride and me. -.-. .;;. 


	24. Living

Enigmatic Hatred

By Shade

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you're all sick of excuses but I'm updating like crazy right now. First off I was suspended from for a long while (several fics of mine…some of my best…were taken down) then my computer caught a virus. When we finally sent it off the place that was supposed to fix it had it forever and a day when they finally called and said they'd refund our money and were very sorry but they had completely wiped the memory. My PS2 broke and I spent ridiculous amounts of time and everything short of necromancy trying to revive it. Then my grandfather got very sick and passed on. When I got back from the funeral I sent the computer to someone else. Again, forever and a day passed until it came back to me but yesterday was that day and here is this chapter!

He recalled apologizing to Squall, holding him close, but that had been only on the edge of his thoughts as he found himself once more in the real world. Though the linoleum was far warmer in comparison to the snowy, time compressed wasteland he had found himself in only minutes he had never felt so cold. The corners of his vision tapered, closing in on the red pooling at the base of the bathtub. His head was spinning and his breathing became slow and rhythmic then strained, drowned out by the sound of his own pulse which sounded as if it was fading completely. Seifer managed one last ironic sort of smile before falling completely forward, far too tired to keep himself awake any longer.

Suddenly he wasn't quite so cold. There was wind and the orange tint of light was visible even with his eyes closed as they were. He could hear birds and faint sounds of laughter. Closest of all though were familiar voices.

"Is he dead?"

"IDIOT."

"Well I didn't think he'd die, ya know?"

Seifer groaned and stretched only to find moving from his crumpled position on the ground wasn't quite as uncomfortable as he had imagined. Grass was beneath him and he noted he was wearing his coat and a black shirt once more. He hastily rolled his sleeves up, shocked to find not even the older scar was present. He was so taken offguard in fact he was completely unprepared for a kick in the side.

"BASTARD!"

That much hurt. Seifer dropped back, falling onto his side. He looked up, confused and just in time to find an angry looking Fuijin drawing her foot back. Seifer opened his mouth to say something, anything but nothing came out.

"Hey, Fuj, take it easy on him. He's been through a lot, ya know?" Raijin moved past her, leaning down and offering Seifer a hand "Sorry Seifer, Fuj was kinda disappointed about the whole killing yourself thing, ya know?"

"IDIOT." Fujin repeated, spinning around on her heel and walking away now.

Seifer shakily took the offered hand and got to his feet "You-you're…dead…I-"

"Well what did you think would happen when you…well…ya know," Raijin's smile weakened slightly. Looking past Raijin now, Seifer recognized Winhill but just barely. This place seemed larger, more beautiful somehow. They were on a hill at the moment, around a small rockface. He watched Fujin continue down the hill and head towards a small house in the distance. They were a good distance from the residential area of the town but voices still carried to the hilltop on the wind "Come on," Raijin motioned for Seifer to follow then hurried down the hill himself.

Seifer followed, still in something of a daze. As they drew closer to the cottage he realized it was really quite lovely and larger than he had first assumed. There was a garden with climbing vines that wound up to a window on the second floor. Inside there was a fireplace and comfortable looking furniture. In a kitchen to one side of the house Seifer saw Fuijin making what looked to be tea. She glared at Seifer momentarily as Raijin hastily led him past and into the living room "She'll cool down ya know? Just don't make eye contact until then."

Seifer dropped down into a chair, slowly coming to his senses now "So…we're dead…?" Raijin seemed to hesitate in answering so Seifer merely continued. He certainly had plenty of questions. "…And this place is…"

"Where Fujin and I live. She chose, but I don't mind, ya know? We travel a lot anyway."

"I'd like to throttle whoever coined the phrase 'you can sleep when you're dead.' Lying son of a bitch.

" Seifer looked to find Fujin was in the room again and offering him a cup. He took the cup, breathing in the steam before looking up to Fuijin again, suddenly noticing what was so different about her…aside from the fact that she was currently speaking in complete sentences…"You aren't wearing an eyepatch."

A somewhat embarrassed look was on her face and she looked to one side, allowing both perfect eyes to be hidden beneath her silvery hair. She backed up a few steps before Raijin caught her around the waist and pulled him down to sit at his side. He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead, only causing her to blush a bit more deeply. She recovered quickly of course and this resulted in Raijin getting a smart whack upside the head but Seifer still couldn't help but smile. Seifer had known Fuijin long enough to see through her usual violent demeanor. He had never seen her happier.

Seifer took a sip of the tea in hand as Fuijin spoke up once more "Someone should have realized what was going on." She said at last.

"About the…time compression and… "

"About everything," Fuijin snapped "Anyone with any sort of education could have told you energy can never be destroyed. Nothing was done with Ultimacia's power…not really…Of course it was bound to manifest and no one human could have handled that sort of power so-"

"They had no way of knowing, ya know," Raijin offered in Seifer's defense.

Fuijin only shook her head "Not only that. Rinoa should have realized what was going on. Squall should have realized he loved you sooner and you should have realized killing yourself was a DAMN STUPID THING TO DO!"

Seifer couldn't find the nerve to talk back to her. He stared down at his tea, knowing she was completely right. Raijin didn't argue with her this time. "I know that now…but I can't change what I did…Yelling at me won't do much good."

"It helps," Raijin muttered, much to Seifer's surprise "We love you Seifer but so does Squall and he's going to need you now if you hadn't guessed as much. He left Rinoa. He took far too long but he left her, even with the knowledge that you might not be around for much longer."

Seifer nearly dropped the tea in hand but didn't have a chance to respond as Fuijin picked up where Raijin had left off. Her tone seemed calmer now "You know, love like that can never really be destroyed either. He would never get over your death, not really. He could never move on…I…" Seifer heard her voice crack slightly, saw her look away as if trying to forget something. Though she had followed Raijin quickly she still remembered the pain of seeing his motionless body all to well, clutching at his body, hoping to stir him. She knew all too well what Squall must be going through.

"What Fuj means is that things are going to get better." Raijin had moved his arm back around Fuijin, pulling her closer. She hadn't objected this time and even smiled.

"We'll miss you…but I think we can manage amongst ourselves until we meet again, hmm…?" She threw Raijin a meaningful look as she stood, causing him to grin.

Seifer put his tea aside, looking to both of his old friends, confused "What are you talking about?" He asked, standing.

"You thought you'd get to stay? You're not freeloading off of us…We'll leave those honors to Squall…And it had better be a long while down the line from now."

Seifer looked from Raijin to Fujin once more "…But…I died. How am I supposed to…What…"

Fujin rolled her eyes "Energy has to go somewhere remember? No _one _person could handle it and it your better half is still alive what do you think that means?"

Seifer stared at her, feeling as light headed as he had felt when he had died and now very confused "I don't know! You're not making any sense!"

"See ya later Seifer. Tell Squall I said hi," Raijin hugged Seifer and the other fell silent, hugging the other back awkwardly.

Fujin wrapped her arms around Seifer as well, reaching up to kiss his cheek "Watch it when you go back. If you do anything stupid, we'll know and there'll be hell to pay when we meet again."

The entire room seemed to shift and Seifer realized that he seemed to be slipping away from this world just as he had slipped from the last. He hugged Fuijin and Raijin back fiercely. His voice failed him again but that was the least of his worries right now. Part of him didn't want to leave. He clung to his friends, reluctant to go back to a place that had caused him such pain. In the end he felt both Fujin and Raijin's touch fade albeit their presence remained. Suddenly only one pair of arms was around him.

"You think I imagined it don't you?" Seifer had been watching the ceiling as he spoke, his eyes unfocused. Now he looked back to Squall to find the other watching him with profound interest.

Squall shook his head immediately "You don't, do you?"

Seifer shook his head as well. He knew what he had seen and felt, what he still felt now.

"You wanted to stay with them," Squall asked quietly, lying at Seifer's side. He had been gripping his arm much too tight since he had stirred. Only now did his grip lessen.

Seifer picked up the tone in his voice and immediately pulled Squall close "I wasn't sure what was waiting for me back here." He said honestly, pleased when Squall kissed him.

"I was an idiot. I'm so sorry Seifer," He muttered into Seifer's shoulder, tears in his eyes once more. He seemed close to breaking down again when Seifer pulled him closer, trying to keep him calm.

"Just show me all right? Prove you're sorry that way," He loosened his grip on Squall, smiling as he nodded frantically "Until then…I'm kind of tired so…"

Squall pulled away reluctantly "I'm not leaving," He stood but leaned back over the bed to kiss Seifer "But I should go get the nurse and tell everyone you're all right. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

"I believe you," Seifer suppressed a laugh, kissing Squall back once more before he pulled away and moved towards the door.

Squall stopped there however and looked back "Seifer…what do you think Fujin meant by…" He fell silent, realizing Seifer's breathing was slow and steady now and his eyes closed. He was asleep. Dismissing the thought for now he left the wing, stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind him.

"Squall…"

Startled, Squall looked around to find his friends were still present. Dr. Kadowaki and her nurse went back into the office. Selphie seemed close to tears and Quistis was noticeably upset. Even Zell looked sick. Squall suddenly began to laugh. He had never been so relieved, so happy and it showed…It also disgusted and disturbed everyone around him at the moment but Squall could care less what they thought. Clarification could wait for a moment, maybe several. The increasing weight upon his heart had been lifted. Everything was falling into place. For now he had been given a second chance. He had been given back the one thing, the one person that mattered most to him in this world and that was all that mattered.

A/N: Wow, I'm so glad to be back! You have no idea how much I've missed working on this. I hope it was decent. I miss my beta readers T-T. If you haven't given up on me I'd love to have you assistance wrapping this fic up. As for the Fuijin and Raijin bit, I know I cut out the one…worders…and the 'ya knows' towards the end. That wasn't another careless mistake on that part -;;. On a side note I posted a songfic last night which I wrote while I was waiting for my computer. It's a Harry Potter (my first!) fanfiction and titled Umbrella…Predictably I have no reviews…-.-. If you have nothing to do and a thing for Draco/Harry fics by all means check it out. You could earn my love and wrack up some nice good karma points at the same time. Go for it.


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